In need of some encouragment…

I’m not one to complain and I really hate that I’m starting off by doing so, but things have just really sucked lately. I was diagnosed with Type I about four days before Thanksgiving. I spent four days in the ICU and two days in regular care. Despite missing Thanksgiving and having my whole world change drastically right before my eyes, I was fairly optimistic. Sure, there were a couple instances where I cried for a few minutes, but I typically remained upbeat and hopeful. Perhaps I was in denial or maybe it hadn’t hit me yet, I don’t really know. I guess I still don’t think it’s hit me quite yet, but I think I’m getting closer. I’ve had a family member living with me ever since I left the hospital. While it was rather annoying, I appreciated having someone there, just in case. Counting carbs and trying to figure out how much insulin to take and all that jazz is something that comes with time and confidence and while I knew what I was doing, having someone there to double check was great. It was also really nice seeing as I was crashing more than two times a day. Not fun. Anywho, after my finals were done we decided it would be best if I stayed at my mom’s for my winter break. So I loaded up my kitties and made the two hour drive back to my home town where I’m currently staying. At first things were going fine. It was nice spending time with my mom and having my friends close by, but then my friends went home for their break and now all my time has been spent with my family. I don’t mean for that to sound so ungrateful or negative, but all I’ve been hearing lately is “Diabetics can’t do that” or “Diabetics have ___ you know” or “I’m worried about you doing anything you used to do since you’re diabetic now”. The only people that are making me feel slightly normal are my doctors which is ironic seeing as the last time I had been to a doctor before my diagnosis was over two years ago. They tell me that yes, I’m different now, but they’re there to make me feel as normal as possible. I wish my family would do the same. I know they’re only trying to help and that this isn’t easy for them either, but it’s really making dealing with this whole thing rather difficult. As if giving myself a shot four times a day and pricking my fingers at least seven times a day doesn’t make me aware of the fact that my life has changed, hearing about it constantly from those that love me and should be supportive isn’t helping. Most recently my mom has been talking to me about my internship which is coming up between June and September (it depends on which internship I decide to take). A few of them are on the other side of the country. She thinks that I should remain close to home and that I really shouldn’t be living alone. Her reasoning behind this is that I’ll still be in the honeymoon phase and that I could crash at any time. I pointed out to her that every time I’ve crashed, I was the one that took care of it. I understand her concern, I really do, but I hate that she’s making me feel even more out of control of my life than I already do. I lived by myself for the past six months. I know I wasn’t diabetic then, but I did a great job taking care of myself. I received six ‘A+’s and two ‘A’s. My apartment was always clean, I made new friends, and I even managed to get in some volunteer time. I was doing great. Now they’ve made it so I can’t function without someone. My eyes were changing so now they won’t let me drive until I get my eyes checked which they have yet to make me an appointment. I’d do it myself, but I don’t know when someone would be able to drive me. I can’t eat without someone checking my math or asking me if I should be eating that. I don’t know. I guess I’m just feeling really down and I don’t know what to do. I know my life has changed and that things will never be exactly the same, but I hate that others keep pointing it out to me. Has anyone had to deal with this before or am I just being super sensitive? I’d hate to think that I’m blowing this all out of proportion, but I just don’t know how to not let what they’re saying affect me. Sorry to be such a Debbie downer. Hopefully things will start to look up soon. Thanks for listening.