by c. odinzoff
Dinner. What a happy family. All gathered around the table celebrating one of the U.S’s oldest traditions. Thanksgiving. Mashed potatoes, green beans, stuffing, corn, cranberry sauce, yummy blueberry and apple pie and my good friend Bert the Turkey! Poor old Bert. He wasn’t even twenty yet in turkey years. Please don’t eat me! I’m too young to taste good! And if you do decide to eat me, remember, you are what you eat.
Even though turkeys may seem healthy because grain and plants, you never know if I’m sick or not. I could have the bird flu! Or, I could have some type of lice on my feathers when you pluck me. So maybe you should pick a different turkey to smother and serve on the table. You know, I often do have a lot of gas, especially when I’m unconscious. I might look like a perfect, juicy, very delicious turkey, but on the inside it’s a whole different story.
Did you know that the turkey population is endangered? Yes, that’s why you shouldn’t eat us any more. That’s one less turkey in the U.S. for you. My people (the Turkeys) are the ones that help to reproduce. It’s like biting the hand that feeds you. You should take pity on the turkeys. The turkeys have always been nice to the humans. The humans have been nice to us, until it was judgment day. Take your madness out on the chickens!
How will you feel if a group of turkeys came to your house and killed you and got you ready for thanksgiving dinner hundreds of years ago? You would probably be the one writing this paper right now, not me. You wouldn’t like getting killed just to be eaten. I might taste good, but maybe so do you. You people call it tradition, but I call it hunger.
People say this tradition has been around for hundreds of years cine the pilgrims Well, I say start a new tradition. Kill chickens for turkey’s sake! Roosters, swans, I don’t care! Anything but turkeys. The tradition is getting too old. I miss Bert. Why?! Bert was the turkeyest friend that you could ever have. He was the best. But, back to my point. No more turkey slaughter!
Please don’t eat me! or any other turkey for that matter. Turkeys can be a good pet—they don’t have to be a good tasty main dish for a family dinner. I’m asking nicely. Please don’t eat turkeys anymore.