Question: What has been your best learning experience?
Someone once asked me this question. I had to think on that one for a while. Although life in general is one continuous learning experience, I wanted to give a more specific answer.My answer: Mistakes.
In the past 30+ years, I’ve learned best from my mistakes and those of other people. As much as I don’t like making mistakes, they have served as the best teacher; especially when it comes to relationships.
I’m on my third marriage. So, to be honest, there have been many mistakes. Speaking of being honest, I’ve learned from my mistakes that honesty really is the best policy. When presented with a new relationship, I tried to become a person that I thought they wanted. Someone more interesting or fun to be with. Hoping, against all hope, to be liked. Thinking that I was not good enough just being me, I lost my true self.
Let’s face it, when we first meet someone who we’re attracted to, we do everything in our power to seem appealing to that person. We spend time doing things with this person that we wouldn’t normally do. We feign interest in topics that we don’t necessarily possess a passion for. Or, in my case, we don’t divulge a part of ourselves for fear that this person might find it stupid or even repulsive. By doing this, we give up the most important part of ourselves just to make that person like us. Why do we do that?! Later, when we have established a relationship with this person, we begin to regret doing those things. Once we begin to be honest about our likes and dislikes, this person is shocked that we feel this way. Eventually, we become resentful for having to do these things that we dislike or even hate.
When I started dating my third husband, I failed to divulge that I’m an avid baseball fan. I chose to hide this information from past experiences. In the past, when I divulged this fact, most men didn’t like a woman who knew as much, if not more, as they do about baseball. Or, if they didn’t like baseball, they felt that they took a back seat when baseball season came around. I admit that I am kind of obsessed when it comes to baseball. I don’t miss a game. When making plans, I schedule things around my baseball schedule. My mistake, in most cases, was waiting too long to let them know the real me. I’ve learned to be honest and upfront right from the start.
It finally hit me when I started dating my third husband. I wasn’t upfront with him about my love for the game. So, when I finally told him, he was surprised.
“You never watched baseball before,” he said.
“Yeah, I know. That’s because most guys don’t like the fact that I’m so into baseball,” I replied.
“I think it’s great,” he said shrugging his shoulders.
From that day on, we have shared many a baseball game together. And I have taught him many things about baseball that he never knew before. Now, we have a bond that can’t be broken. God forbid anyone try to interrupt our baseball time together. There’ll be H*ll to pay if they try!
This is only one example of how mistakes have helped me to learn. There are so many other ways that mistakes can become a learning experience. I’m not saying, “go out and make mistakes so you can learn from them.” I’m just saying that if you make mistakes, there is a learning experience there. You can take that experience and made things better. You don’t have to keep making the same mistakes over again. Some can be a life changing experience.
What has been your best learning experience? Life? Kids? Your job? Parents? It may be something totally different from mine. I would love to hear about your learning experiences.
