Sure, I know prunes aren’t prunes anymore. They’re dried plums, having been rebranded in the early oughts to shake the old-codger image and be reborn as a superfruit. Healthy and trendy. The California Prune Board even changed its name to the California Dried Plum Board, and marketers jumped on the chance to move product outside the geriatric set. In a current ad campaign, the family-run food producer Mariani gives us a free sample—January is digestive health month!—and a cartoon mascot with a mask, cape and S-shield on her chest. She’s alternately referred to as Superfruit Woman and Superwoman. (Does Warner Bros. know about her?) Anyway, she has bouncy hair and a tiny waist (and Olympic speedskater quads) and practically glows from all the antioxidants she gets from eating dried plums. And judging from a diagram of her innards on the company’s Web site, she’s probably as regular as rain. All reasons to give this product a try? Nah. Maybe when I’m 80.
—Posted by T.L. Stanley