Late Night: Are You Ready for Some FOOT-BALL, Or, At Least, Wingnuts Talking Crap about Football?

The Super Bowl isn’t until tomorrow, but some of our friends from Greater Wingnuttia are already acting like they took a shot to the head from a 350 pound offensive lineman. It makes sense: internet “conservatives” like saying stupid things about “liberals”; the Super Bowl is a major event; the temptation to say stupid things about “liberals” and the Super Bowl must have just overwhelmed their tiny little pea-sized brains.

At the astonishingly ill-named American Thinker, for openers, “Troy Nelson” catches Barack Obama in the grip of Cold Inexorable Logic, accusing him of saying he is sort of pulling for The Saints this year because of how the city had a bad time of it with  Hurricane Katrina. But in in 2006 Obama wanted his hometown Chicago Bears to beat the Saints in the NFC Championship game! This is, we are told, “shiftiness.” But even worse, it is evidence that Obama is not an Ayn Rand fan. Honestly, that’s what “Troy Nelson” says.

Shiftiness notwithstanding, I think President Obama’s answer is simpatico with this generation’s elevation of “victimology” and symbology above all else. Rather than focusing on the teams playing the game the rooting has been transferred to the more “deserving” team by proxy of their suffering fans. The Saints represent their fans which represent New Orleans which represents Katrina which represents victims of a storm event… which happened five years ago. See, the choice should be easy.

What happened to the days of pulling for organizations, teams, and players whom best demonstrate the virtues of team work and heart and will power? Who overcome the challenges of a determined opponent on the level playing field of competition? Of blood, sweat, and tears? I guess in our coddled, emasculated, socialist society any overt demonstration or celebration of these qualities is offensive, too Darwinian, too Randian, too capitalistic.

This is very convincing, in the sense that is offers even yet still more evidence that people who take Ayn Rand seriously are crazy halfwit assholes whose only discernible skill lies in developing startling new ways to prove that they are, in fact, crazy halfwit assholes. (See also here and here.)

A similarly goobery line of “argument” is likewise pursued by “Rich Tucker” over at Townhall. “Rich Tucker” believes that the NFL’s use of instant replay is Wicked, and that liberals are in favor of the instant replay rule for exactly the same reasons liberals want healthcare reform. Honestly, that’s what “Rich Tucker” says.

Conservatives understand that people will make mistakes. Receivers will drop perfectly thrown passes. Running backs will fumble in the open field. Officials will miss a call now and again. Liberals may believe it’s possible to call a game perfectly if we get just the right amount of oversight. For similar reasons, they also believe the government ought to provide everybody’s health care.

Stupid liberals, believing officials should do their jobs and people shouldn’t go broke because they need healthcare. He sure did show us the error of our ways! (I actually had no idea the instant replay rule was “liberal,” perhaps because “Rich Tucker” just made that up in his tiny little pea-sized head.)