When first lady Michelle Obama decided to make the “obesity epidemic” among American youth part of her agenda last Tuesday, she took a bold step toward sparking a needed dialogue on the health and well-being of our children.
Most parents would agree that taking care of our children is something so valuable that lack of funding for education and health care seem irrelevant. Even in the worst of times, we know that taking care of our own is something that no one can place a price tag on.
But instead of leaving it at that, she took her commentary one step too far. She announced to millions of Americans on NBC’s “Today” show that her 8-year-old daughter was put on a “diet.”
This came on the heels of President Barack Obama announcing last November that this same daughter was “chubby.” Some praised her for her efforts, others chastised her and the president for being so careless to use such disparaging terms publicly about their own child. As a mother of an 8-year-old, a therapist, and someone recovered from anorexia for more than 15 years, I was not alone in my frustration about another well-intended public figure picking the right platform but choosing the wrong words.
Childhood obesity is certainly reaching epidemic proportions. Obesity, anorexia and bulimia are universally on the rise.
Nearly one-third of the children in the United States are overweight, and for African Americans and Latinos, the numbers are even higher. To paint a clearer picture, eating disorders, of which obesity or binge eating disorder can be included, affect an estimated 10 million girls and women and 1 million boys and men in the United States. It’s ironic that at a time when we have perhaps the most research and information available about making healthy food choices and the importance of leading an active lifestyle, our country has never experienced more eating disorders.
Sadly, comments like the Obamas’ do not help. According to research conducted as far back as 1991, nearly 42 percent of girls polled in the first through third grades wanted to be thinner. Girls who diet are 12 times more likely to binge on food. Nearly half of 10- and 11-year-old boys and girls polled said they were on a diet, as were most of their families. And 81 percent of the 10-year-olds were afraid of being fat.
Clearly, despite preaching the values of eating right and regular exercise, we are raising our children to have an unhealthy relationship with not only food but their own bodies.
So what can be done? First, look at the research and listen to the guidance from treatment providers who have been in the trenches of these illnesses for years. Whether it’s anorexia or binge eating disorder, I hear story after story from clients who, as kids, were put on diets or attended weight-loss programs with their well- intended parents. I listen to clients talk about families in which they constantly heard negative and disparaging remarks about weight and appearance – toward others, toward themselves and comments parents made directly about themselves.
What did they learn? To not trust their internal cues for hunger and fullness.
I witness the results of chronic stress due to being pushed into sports and over-exercising with very little time for rest or quality family time.
Did they learn that exercise is supposed to be not only good for their bodies but most importantly, fun? Absolutely not. They learned to dislike their bodies for not being fast enough, talented enough or, simply put, good enough.
I hear the shame and sense of failure because they struggle with eating “bad” or “junk” food, never realizing that there truly is no such thing.
The concept of “intuitive eating” has been lost on them, and they are starving, bingeing or purging to make themselves acceptable to a culture that laughs at children who are overweight and calls them “chubby” and glorifies those who are thin.
The recipe for change starts with us. We have to change our views on food in general and stop labeling it as “good” or “bad.” We need to realize that balance is about having carrots and cake, and having too much of either one is not the answer.
We need to ensure that regardless of funding, physical activity remains a crucial part of our children’s daily lives. Not necessarily because it’s about being the best at a sport, but because it’s something that our kids actually can enjoy. Most importantly, we need to start having family meals together – ones that take place at a dinner table, not in front of a television set, and involve having a dialogue with one another.
It’s precious time that we have to commit to, and doing so will help in fighting not only eating disorders, but teenage pregnancy, drugs and alcohol as well.