When it comes to your health, there’s no such thing as sitting pretty. In fact, we’re riding our immobile behinds right into an early grave.
Maybe we can start burying people in their EZ Chairs — just wheel them right out of the memorial service and into the cemetery. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust — you sat around while your health went bust.
Our sedentary lifestyles are killing us, and a recent editorial in the British Journal of Sports Medicine highlights the toll: People who spend the most time sitting face a higher risk for heart attack, diabetes and early death.
Cue the obligatory calls for more exercise.
Tim Armstrong, a physical activity "expert" at the World Health Organization, even told the Associated Press that people who sit the most should exercise several times a day.
Is anyone else paying attention here? You can exercise once a day, twice a day, or five times every third Friday — it won’t matter. If you’re on your rear at work all day, then plop down for an evening on the sofa, no amount of exercise in the world is going to save your sorry bottom.
A study that tracked more than 17,000 Canadians over 12 years found that those who sat the most had a higher risk of early death — regardless of their exercise habits.
Just look around you — millions of miserable human hamsters scurry on a treadmill for 30 minutes a day…then spend the rest of their time sitting. These people aren’t healthy, and adding a second daily torture session isn’t going to make a whit of difference.
It just doesn’t work that way, even if it might sell a few more gym memberships.
Forget the experts, they’re not going to save you — but I will. If you’re stuck behind a desk all day, don’t just sit there. Do something. Get some motion back into your life.
One way to do that is to take up smoking and stroll around the block on your tobacco breaks. You’ll get some dirty looks along the way, but just smile back. You’ll be much healthier than most of those Frowning Frannies anyway.
And when you get home, spend less time on the sofa. It’s about the same length as a coffin, and just might double for one if you get too comfortable in it.
Not taking this sitting down,