“Controlling the mind is a lot like riding an elephant,” says Dr. Jonathan Haidt, author of The Happiness Hypothesis. “The elephant represents the powerful thoughts and feelings—mostly unconscious—that drive your behavior. Humans, although much weaker, can exert control over the elephant, just as we exert control over negative thoughts and feelings.”
To control your elephant, you must identify behaviors that get it feeling twitchy and thunderous.
Are you kicking your elephant because you’re not recovering fast enough from a challenge?
Are you nagging him with upsetting, pessimistic ruminations—you know, going over and over something in an attempt to make sense of it?
When bad things happen, it’s natural to overanalyze and obsess. But rumination keeps you stuck.
As Albert Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
To move forward, you need to switch mental tracks.
“Continually mulling over failure creates chronic stress,” warns psychologist Everett Worthington. “Rumination is the number-one mental health bad boy; it’s associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, anxiety and probably hives, too.”
BOUNCE BACK ASSIGNMENT:
Buy a journal. Write on the front: ELEPHANT RETRAINING JOURNAL. Every time you kick your elephant with a negative thought, write it down. After a week, look at your list. Notice anything? Are the same 3 (or 10) thoughts coming up again and again? If so, write down a persuasive rebuttal to dispute those thoughts — and make your elephant a gentler beast.
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