The mayor is missing a beat by not using his $1-a-year City Hall Master of Multitasking Austin Beutner to fulfill one of the most glaring of his many broken promises. Antonio’s almost forgotten Million Trees Program.
Now there’s an idea that I can get behind, or next to, depending on the tree, of course.
Sure, all the political players are buzzing about Antonio putting Beutner, who’s supposed to be the mayor’s “job czar,” whatever the heck that means, to head the DWP for a while until they find someone dumb enough to take a job that rarely lasts more than a year — a job that puts you between the rock of IBEW boss Brian D’Arcy and the hard place of millions of people fed up with being ripped off.
In addition to the DWP, which has become somewhat of a death row for general managers, Beutner’s other responsibilities include Building and Safety, Airports and the Harbor among half a dozen or more departments.
Beutner told Rick Orlov of the Green Sheet yesterday, in an exclusive interview that must have really pissed off some editors at the Dog Trainer, if they even noticed, that he was going to perform his DWP duties from his City Hall office.
Bruno found out this morning though that’s not the case with A Million Trees.
Sneaking out of the backyard while Saint Deb was at work and Ron was banging on his computer – he types like he talks – I headed down to the corner of Winnetka and Victory looking for a good spot to make sure other dogs knew this was Bruno’s neighborhood.
And there he was! In an orange jumpsuit and hardhat, the guy who is for all intents and purposes running the nation’s second largest city, planting a tree.
I’m sure it was him. He was fearless even when Bruno did the old bark-and-lunge attack like he was going to rip his throat out.
Only a guy who made billions, enjoyed going 100 miles an hour down mountains on a bike (until he racked it up) and hangs out in a den of thieves could be so unmoved by Bruno’s feints.
Bruno: What ya’ doing?
Beutner: Planting a tree.
Bruno: Why?
Beutner: Because the mayor’s way short of his promise to plant a million of them.
Bruno: May I sniff it?
Beutner: Sure, but behave yourself.
Bruno: It’s a beauty. Didn’t the mayor also promise to take over the schools and build a subway to the sea?
Beutner: He did? Oh my God! When did he promise that? I used to be in the private sector. I never read the newspapers, except the business page.
Bruno: When he was elected.
Beutner: I bet I get stuck with those turkeys too!
Bruno: Hey, what are you doing? You’re in public!
Beutner: Marking this tree, it’s my last.
Woof!