Scripture: 1 Corinthians 7:25-35
Throughout this year I have researched and written twenty studies on Family Life. I have tried to write inclusive of people living in all sorts of differently shaped families. As Family First Party, I felt there should be some overarching philosophy apart from all of the policies on different aspects of Government policy for families. Although Family First is a party of family values, and not exclusively a Christian party, I have been a Christian minister for 50 years so I write out of that set of values and faith system. To do anything else would deny what is essential to my thinking and understanding. I respect the views of others and I quote many people whose works I have read, but whose values and lifestyle I do not promote, as you will read as you progress through this study for example.
Many people have been considering the issues and have given me their views. But nothing has attracted negative comment as much as this theme when I announced it some months ago. Only five words long, this title “BEING SUCCESSFUL ON YOUR OWN” has been criticised on two accounts. The first is that I should be writing on a theme of people being successful at all.
1. BEING SUCCESSFUL
Some people are not happy with the concept of success in life. They trot out trite little sayings like “God does not call us to be successful, but to be faithful.” That sounds good, but it fails to answer the issue: “Is God honoured when his people are failures, wasting His gifts and squandering His resources?” The answer is clearly seen in the teachings of Jesus who praised successful people in His Parable of the Talents and in some 200 references in scripture to ‘succeeding’ and ‘success’.
The Bible encourages us to be successful. The theme that runs throughout the cycle of stories of Joseph in Genesis which is repeated after every episode that sees the hero badly done by is: (39:23) “but the LORD was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did.” After the people of Israel entered the land of Canaan, Joshua said (1:7-8) “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.”
When King Uzziah ruled, he learned from Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God (2 Chron 26:5) and the result? “As long as he sought the LORD, God gave him success.”
Nehemiah, who was a great hero of Israel, prayed (1:11) “O Lord, Give your servant success today.” David prayed (Ps 118:25) “O LORD, save us; O LORD, grant us success.”
But in Australia we have been through an era of greed where people tried to be successful financially at the expense of others, and at the expense of morality and ethics. Whatever happened to public morality? Many Australians asked the question again this week, as a former Chief Judge of the Supreme Court was buried and people remembered the behaviour that led to his resignation from the bench in disgrace.
Three successful business leaders are before the courts, another judge is in jail, a former Catholic priest pleaded guilty to the sexual abuse of children, a millionaire who ran away after his friend was murdered was found hiding in Queensland, and a former businessman who was the nation’s wealthiest is having his will contested by a former mistress who bore his child, and a stripper who was his escort while being unfaithful to his wife and his mistress.
These so called “successful” people were immoral, greedy and sinful, not successful. You can only call them “successful” when you have a twisted or a limited definition of success. No one now calls them successful.
Professor Peter Singer, the famous Australian Philosopher, says: “Australians are now taking ethical issues more seriously. We are a bit more moral than we were. Australia has a golden opportunity to redefine the ethical landscape in which we live, and I hope we don’t squander it. Some organisations have taken on an ethical stance which employees feel they can share and which can give people some new confidence.” Hugh Mackay, the social commentator, says: “Perhaps we are beginning to realise that we need to take a closer look at what makes communities function so that we can do a better job of designing environments where humans can more easily act like social and moral creatures.”
Following a TV interview earlier this month with Tony Abbott, the Federal Opposition Leader, a full discussion has occurred about politicians who do not tell the truth, and who deliberately make promises that they have no intention of keeping.
I remember Justice Michael Kirby, recently retired from the High Court, saying upon his return from Cambodia, “The Cambodians lost their spiritual framework when the Khmer Rouge killed the monks and destroyed the temples. At least in Australia, despite the decline of religious belief, we have a cultural memory of the teachings of Jesus Christ. I am not a churchly person but the teachings of Jesus remind us of the transience of human power and ambition and the enduring nature of spiritual and ethical values.”
When people ask, “whatever happened to morality?” they are stating that society will not tolerate actions against the common good.
We have been through an era of “the privatisation of morality” while warning about rampant individualism and the need for shared moral values. Our commitment to each other was dangerously weakened as a result of the unbridled individualism in the 1980’s, the “me” decade when people believed God had arranged matters so that everything occurring under free enterprise was designed for our success, and the Global Financial Crisis of 2009 when everything came tumbling down.
In some churches Prosperity theology found in some preachers taught that if you were to receive the blessing of God, it would be in the form of financial riches. Some of these heretical preachers are still active in fringe denominations. The erosion of the moral environment made it easier for them to behave badly by equating blessing with money, success with getting away with it.
Damian Grace, who taught in the School of Social Work at the University of NSW, wrote in the Sydney Morning Herald: “Morality is not about conformity, but about developing those personal excellences once familiar to us as the virtues. It should not be equated simply with prohibitions or a list of obligations. It is also about courage, generosity, patience, trust and love, the kind of qualities we can really acquire only in our relations with others.”
That is the kind of success I am talking about. Individuals growing in personal excellence and virtue, growing in “courage, generosity, patience, trust and love.”
This is true, not just of successful people, but successful organisations. They too must have a moral and ethical heart, and develop those qualities that mark out successful individuals. The managing director of Bankers Trust Australia, says: “Capitalism is based on self-interest which, on the face of it, seems to conflict with ethical behaviour. But in a capitalist society, we accord genuine respect only to enduringly successful organisations, not fly-by-nighters. To be an enduringly successful organisation, your staff must work to their optimum, respect each other and, most important, the organisation needs to have a social purpose beyond itself and its constituents. In other words, values and standards that go beyond self-interest.”
Professor Don Edgar, a professor at Monash University, says: “The irony is that we have glorified independence and personal choice in a complex modern society where little can be done without dependence upon the expertise and goodwill of others, rather than a message that as human beings we need one another. Society works only if people make it work for the benefit of all rather than a few.”
A clear example of such a successful single woman is Miss Marian Anderson, the African-American contralto who died in 1993, and who won worldwide acclaim as a concert soloist. I found in her bestselling autobiography, “My Lord, What a Morning”, that in spite of her fame, she remained the same gracious, approachable lady, a beautiful model of humility.
A reporter, while interviewing Miss Anderson, asked her to name the greatest moment in her life. The choice seemed difficult to others who were in the room that day, because she had many big moments. For example: there was the night Conductor Arturo Toscanini announced, “A voice like hers comes once in a century.” In 1955 she became the first African American to sing with the Metropolitan Opera Company of New York. In 1958 she became a United States delegate to the United Nations.
On several occasions during her illustrious career, she received medals from various countries. There was that memorable time she gave a private concert at the White House for the President and the Queen of England. She was awarded the coveted Presidential Medal of Freedom. There was that Easter Sunday in Washington D.C. when she stood beneath the Lincoln statue and sang for a crowd of 75,000, which included Cabinet members, Supreme Court justices, and most members of Congress. Which of those big moments did she choose?
None of them. Miss Anderson quietly told the reporter that the greatest moment of her life was the day she went home and told her mother she
wouldn’t have to take in washing anymore. There was a successful person!
2. BEING SUCCESSFUL ON YOUR OWN
The second criticism I received in proposing to write on this theme resulted from the comment: “This series of studies has been most helpful to our family life and even when you discussed issues that did not directly affect us at this stage, we found insights that became relevant over the next week or two. But why on your family theme have you spent a couple of studies discussing the issues effecting single people only, and why are you going to do a study on “Being successful on your own?” Doesn’t this cut right across the family theme?”
I replied that people who are neither parents nor married are not excluded from a discussion on the family, for single people are important members of their extended families. Not everyone is called to nurture a family, and although single people have no family of their own they can make an important contribution to the well-being of their extended families.
Single people also share in some of the family responsibilities and bring an added dimension to family life. But not only that, single people who may have no extended family and no nearby relatives, can make a significant contribution to society as a whole, and to every functioning part of it.
We need to help single people be successful on their own. Then they are in a better position to make an even greater contribution to the community and to those families who need an extra family member who can help them cope.
Some single people without families live in community with other single people. Religious communities of sisters, brothers and priests are groups of single people freely committed to each other in this way. So some single people adopt a community lifestyle.
I think of the Christian community at Bundeena that has existed for many years. And others have turned one of blocks of units operated by Wesley Mission into a large family centre consisting of single people.
I have always encouraged single people to be successful on their own. The Australian Institute of Family Studies predicted that 25% of Australian men and women born in the 1960s will never marry. (“With This Ring” AIFS).
Christianity was born in the hearts of single people. The early church expanded the faith through the work of single men and women. The Apostle Paul, like the Lord Jesus, was a single man. Paul wrote: (1 Corinthians 7:8) “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” He also wrote (v27) “Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.” Paul continued (v32-35) “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs, how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world, how he can please his wife, and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world, how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”
Paul believed that singleness gave a person opportunity for Christian growth and service. He wanted single people to realise the worth and significance of their singleness. He would approve of being a successful single.
Success does not lie in the abundance of your possessions, as Jesus taught, but in your commitment to God. Success lies in being the best you can be by God’s grace. So HOW CAN YOU BE SUCCESSFUL ON YOUR OWN?
CELEBRATE YOUR SINGLENESS
Being single gives a person great opportunities. Celebrate them! You have freedom for educational opportunities, additional time for leisure and cultural activities, and you can be financially independent. Never complain about being single. Some of the most integrated and competent people celebrate their singleness.
DO WHAT YOU CAN DO – WELL
Everyone has a gift of God, some talent that can be used in His service. Not everyone has the same capacity or range of abilities as Jesus indicated when he told in the parable of talents that one person possessed ten talents, another five, while another has only one. The essential point was that each person had to do what they could do, well. It is important that single people do – for many wait for another person to make the decisions for them. It is all too easy to procrastinate. But the successful single is the person who learns to do what you can do well!
DISCOVER YOUR GIFT AND USE IT
God has given you talents, and gifts and one of the gifts God has given is Celibacy. Use your celibacy as God intended. When I was fourteen, I wanted a watch. My widowed mother told me we did not have enough money for me to expect a watch for Christmas. But I thought she just might buy one. One day alone in our house except for a friend from school, we were discussing what each would get for Christmas in a week or so.
I told him I was getting a watch. He didn’t believe me. I told him I was, and that my mother probably had already bought it and it was hidden somewhere in the house. He urged me to look for it. I guessed she might have hidden it behind the linen in the linen press. We looked. I found it!
I opened the watch box and there was the most beautiful watch in its velvet box. I tried it on and felt so excited, then carefully hid it way again. Then came Christmas day. But what was supposed to be a great surprise, wasn’t. I already knew.
I pretended I was excited and thanked Mum but I had an empty feeling. My gift had been opened with the wrong person at the wrong time and all the joy was gone. Celibacy is a gift of God. Don’t unwrap it until you are with the right person and at the right time! God has given you a gift, use it well in serving others.
HELP OTHERS MEET THEIR NEEDS
Successful people are those who know how to serve others. I have observed over many years that some single people grow incredibly narrow in their interests and self-centred in their concerns. The successful single has learned to be interested in other peoples’ interests and committed to helping others. That’s why they are so popular!
VISUALISE YOURSELF ACHIEVING
One of the great arts in being successful is in visualising yourself achieving. This requires that you will have great faith. Unless you have a goal, can dream of yourself achieving that goal and visualising yourself accomplishing it, you are not using all the inner power you have within you to help you be successful. Whatever your purpose, dream the dream and visualise yourself achieving it, and then get on your way.
AIM AT BEING A TOTAL PERSON
The successful person is not measured by their net asset worth financially, but in their achievement of a total personality. That means your all-round development as a person. Both our Lord Jesus and the Apostle Paul were great people with well-developed personalities and skills. They were both single, but total people. I rejoice with single people who have developed their skills, who manage well on their own, who have expanded their competencies and who are living a fulfilled life.
In all of our emphasis upon families in these studies this year, I would note with appreciation the contribution made by single people, and urge you to become a successful person on your own. Making your commitment to Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour is the first and ultimate step in being a successful person.
REV HON DR GORDON MOYES AC MLC