GM Fulfills Low Expectations, Kills Off Saab

SAAB/

After purportedly exhausting every possible alternative, or least deliberating long enough to appear as though they had, General Motors has opted to kill off their long-suffering Swedish subsidiary, Saab. Although many blogs/any amateur with access to WordPress claim to feel sadness and shock, those industry professionals familiar with The General’s megalomaniac business principles are merely surprised it didn’t happen sooner. While hefty government funding may have made GM more attractive to investors, whatever strings are now attached to all of its transactions have proven toxic to literally every potential sale GM has had in que.

Of course, assuming responsibility for their mounting failures is at odds with their personal philosophy, which means the presser was brimming with ambiguous corporate buzzwords. “Despite the best efforts of all involved, it has become very clear that the due diligence required to complete this complex transaction could not be executed in a reasonable time. In order to maintain operations, Saab needed a quick resolution,” said GM Europe President Nick Reilly. “We regret that we were not able to complete this transaction with Spyker Cars. We will work closely with the Saab organization to wind down the business in an orderly and responsible manner. This is not a bankruptcy or forced liquidation process. Consequently, we expect Saab to satisfy debts including supplier payments, and to wind down production and the distribution channel in an orderly manner while looking after our customers.”

Rest in peace, always-wanted-to-be-but-never-quite-was Volvo.

Source: GM
Image Cred: Reuters Pictures