by d. katcheak
It was on christmas-last year-when I experienced my first holiday gathering. In my world we only take time away from harvesting once a year to celebrate a holiday, and that is christmas. We don’t celebrate thanksgiving because that is your holiday. On your holiday you humans eat my kind and that scares me. If my relatives and I were to celebrate thanksgiving, we would be thankful that you’re there for me to eat. But no! You’re too huge to kill and besides, you look like you taste bad. I know I may be delicious, but I’m alive! I breath, eat, and sleep just like you, but of course—in a very different way.
My best friend was shipped off to one of the men that are working here. When you’re putting my best friends dead body into your oven, I wonder if he made you very tired after you had your last bite? You’re thinking “OH! That was so good!” Then 20 minutes later you’re too lazy to come to work and take care of me and my fellow turkey relatives. You find yourself comfortable sitting at the couch watching some television. You soon came to a point when you realized that you sat too long—your butt is twice as big. My friend Harry was always a lazy person. I’m glad that you got his laziness for a moment, and actually got what you deserved afterwards.
Another family was happily spending time with their relatives. It was time to eat and the grandfather had to get the first cut of my cousin. “Give me some of that delicious, tasty turkey.” A piece of my cooked cousin dropped onto his plate, then he took a bite, “My gums hurt from that dry turkey. How did you cook the turkey? Maybe my 7 year old granddaughter could cook it better. I’m out of here.” The grandparents loved each others very much, but the old lady just didn’t know how to cook. She just wanted to make everybody happy. Instead she cooked my cousin Rose too long she took away her great taste, and on top of that she made my cousin too dry. She also had to apologize to her husband for cooking my cousin too long.
My uncle Tom was captured, killed, thrown in a box, and sent off to a rich family in Rhode Island. The family had a great thanksgiving, and sad to say, but he was cooked so well. The one thing that the butcher didn’t know was that my uncle was diagnosed with some type of bird flu. One of the family members happened to get real sick. They had to miss out on the fun family activities for the past week. Luckily the family was rich enough to take care of the sick family member—otherwise the person could have been killed.
You humans should realize that if things keep happening, maybe you should switch your holiday dish to pizza or popcorn. They’re very tasty and tend to make your mouth water more than I do. They also don’t be too dry or have some type of virus in them. Oh, and they’re not alive—they don’t have a life—they’re bought at the local store—which are sold in boxes. So they don’t have to be killed to satisfy your tummy. Once again I still haven’t been captured yet. I know when they think that its time for a turkey to be taken, I’m always trying to be on the far side of the barn—which is very safe for me. My name is Clarence and I want many years to live.