In my last year of college, I was 168lbs at a height of 6’1". I tried starting a business several times, but failed, had no health insurance, ended up selling my home (at the peak of the real estate bubble!), used that to pay off my debts, and I kind of went into an over-eating depressive mode for a few years. From 2005 to 2007, I gained over a hundred pounds and peaked at 283lbs. I felt like a fat pig, but I kind of gave up on life and just didn’t care. (I am currently 243 lbs.)
I then got a full-time job, and went to graduate school at the same time. I was so focused on the job and graduate school that I stopped exercising altogether. I was eating out all the time, treating my body like absolute ****. But by the end of all of this, my body just gave out on me. I was experiencing all kinds of allergies, hallucinations, and every day was just a struggle. I stopped working, kept passing out from all the various medications I was on. I knew what was going on was because I wasn’t taking care of myself, but I just kind of lost the ability to manage things.
I knew I had problems in 2006, so I went to therapists and doctors. The doctors treated me really poorly, and they said my over-eating was a psychological problem. They did the diabetes tests, didn’t give me any real warnings or anything. I was eating and eating, never feeling satisified. I never got any energy from what I ate, and eventually just started slipping further into the abyss.
One day, I woke up and half my body was numb. I went to the doctor, found out my triglyceride level was 4000 and my glucose levels were off the charts. I finally found out I was a diabetic.
I’ve been working on slowly rebuilding life, but today I found out all of my grandparents died of diabetes. None of them had any weight problems — their diets did them in. They had amputations, lost their sight and all died really horrible deaths. I never knew why they died, I just assumed it was old age.
I haven’t been exercising. I’ve avoided sugar and carbs, but occasionally I will have a little. I’m kind of aimless at the moment, just trying to take it all in.