Evening Crunch Crumbs: ESPN’s Paul Shirley Fired Over Haiti Remarks; Snooki Snubs Springer; Mel Gibson’s Father Is Even Battier Than He Is

-Only in New York! Some Looney Bird Johnson got caught molesting a poor chicken on NYC’s busy6 Train — which runs between Manhattan and The Bronx — on Tuesday night. Where’s PETA when you need them?

-ESPN.com blogger Paul Shirley has been fired over controversial comments he made in a blog about the Haitian earthquake:“I haven’t donated a cent to the Haitian relief effort…And I probably will not… for the same reason that I don’t give money to homeless men on the street,” Shirley wrote in a blog this week.

The letter goes on to criticize the country and its citizens: “Shouldn’t much of the responsibility for the disaster lie with the victims of the disaster?”

-Gun-toting hoop stars Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton have been benched — for the remainder of the season….

-Psycho runs in Mel’s family…..

-Alicia Keys is reportedly engaged to marry already-married music producer Swizz Beatz — who looks a whole lot like an anteater…..

-The season finale of Bravo’s Launch My Line kicks off tonight….

-Michael Douglas’ troubled son, Cameron, has plead guilty to drug charges….

-Snooki’s “too classy” for the King of Trash TV…..

-Reggae star Shaggy and dancehall ace Sean Paul have collaborated with a group of Caribbean artists to raise money for earthquake survivors in Haiti….

-Diddy for Vogue!

Complex takes a look at the lovely ladies of the Ukraine….

-We’re not the only ones sorry to see Ugly Betty leave the air. Mark Indelicato, who plays Justin Suarez on the show, is heartbroken to see the series end….

-Nancy Kerrigan’s homicidal brother, Mark, will not attend tomorrow’s funeral service for dad Daniel Kerrigan, who died last Sunday after scuffling with Mark over use of the family’s telephone…..

-Hayden Panettiere is now a redhead!

-Ten Secret’s from Dustin Diamond’s Saved By The Bell tell-all…..