Editor’s Note: Since the Dog Trainer and the Green Sheet don’t have enough reporters, Bruno thought he’d help out with a preview of the big story that will break in the next few days.
LA Mayor Eliminates Police and Fire Departments
LOS ANGELES – In his latest cost-cutting move to deal with the city’s financial crisis, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa has announced he was shuttering both the Los Angeles Police and Fire Departments.
The announcement follows the closure of Los Angeles International Airport and the Port of Los Angeles.
“I have great faith in Angelenos,” the mayor said on the lawn of Getty House, which he recently converted into a medicinal marijuana clinic to raise money for the city’s general fund..
“I’ve already eliminated crime in the city and anybody with a garden hose can put out a fire.”
The mayor said he wasn’t sure how much money would be saved by firing the cops and firefighters/
“I’ve never been good at math,” Villaraigosa said. “But I’m sure it will help.”
The majority of police officers, who will be allowed to keep their uniforms, were expected to be hired by movie and television production companies to block traffic on city streets during filming.
“Maybe the firefighters can do dog food commercials,” the mayor said somewhat bitterly, referring to the $3 million it cost to settle Firefighter Tennie Pierce’s lawsuit.
Community leaders were quick to react.
“It’s alright with us as long as he doesn’t screw around with Neighborhood Councils,” said an anonymous source involved with the councils who feared retaliation if identified. “He needs to keep his priorities straight.”
Analysts said the mayor and the City Council have confused the public by ignoring the growing financial crisis for years, and then taking action some saw as “drastic.”
“I don’t remember anything this bad since the Yorty administration,” said Sherry Bebich Jeffe, a senior fellow at the School of Policy, Planning, and Development at the University of Southern California and the political analyst for KNBC.
“It makes you wonder what’s worse: a goof ball or a sleaze ball?”