When Oprah speaks, her flock leaps. And now, she wants her viewers to run, too — right out the door for a diabetes test.
It’s a great big game of "Oprah Says," but no one wins this one…except for Oprah and her favorite sponsors.
In her biggest act of self-importance yet, the queen of TV blather is trying to solve America’s diabetes problem by sending her viewers out to Walgreens for free blood tests.
Hurry up, now…Oprah says.
Pardon me for not feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, but I doubt Oprah will ever come close to even hinting at the kind of changes people need to make to avoid diabetes.
She has advertisers to worry about, after all.
The truth is, lowering your risk for diabetes is beyond simple: Swear off the sugar, cut the carbs down to the barest of minimums and eat a diet rich in fresh animal fats and protein.
Works nearly every time…but that kind of crazy talk isn’t going to sell a lot of commercials, and it’s not going to make Oprah viewers feel good about their own carb-fueled misery.
So instead, she’s teamed up with Walgreens — which has no financial interest in making America healthy. Ever walk the aisles in a big chain pharmacy? The "food" section is chips, cookies, frozen dinners, soda and ice cream.
The healthiest thing in the store is probably the beer — and that’s only if local liquor laws allow them to sell it.
Chain pharmacies make money by catering to sick fatties who will buy more chips and ice cream while they wait for their prescriptions to be filled.
That, and overpriced dollar-store junk.
Show up for that free blood test, and after your run the potato-chip gauntlet to get to the pharmacy in the back, you’ll be asked to sign a consent form. Take a look at the fine print — it says right on the bottom that they’ll share your information. It doesn’t say whom they’ll share it with, but it doesn’t take much detective work to figure it out — the list of sponsors on the Walgreens website reads like a Who’s Who of Big Pharma: Bayer, Merck, Sanofi Aventis, and Pfizer, just to name of few.
You can bet your glucose they’re salivating at the idea of getting the names, addresses, phone numbers and blood-sugar levels of Oprah viewers who are at risk for diabetes.
But go ahead, sign that form — Oprah says.
If, on the other hand, you really want to eliminate your risk for diabetes, change the channel.