Scripture: Matthew 6:19-24
More families founder on the rocks of poor money management than any other single issue. The inability of people to control their spending, earn enough to live as they desire, control the debts they have accepted and handle credit that is offered to them, causes more conflict between parents, and between parents and children than any other issue.
Other issues can be used to fight this battle. Sometimes conflict that is started over financial matters is fought in bed with sexual relationships being used as weapons. Sometimes the weapons are irrational behaviour or the threat to leave the home. But many families founder on their inability to manage money in their marriage. [See Marriage Works. April 2006. Dealing with Money Related Tension]
Over the past five years, I have introduced a number of excellent, practical articles on money management for families in the magazine my wife and I own, “Marriage Works”. We have indicated where online you can find those articles in this study.
Very little is done to teach us how to manage money in a marriage. In 1978, when I drew up my list of 150 ideas I would like to develop when I came to Sydney, included were new concepts people in Sydney had not ever considered, including equity funded retirement villages, the development of a national television and radio programs, and the establishment of a financial counselling service that I proposed calling “DEBTLINE”.
One of the first things that the first manager I appointed, Betty Weule, did when we appointed her to develop the service was to suggest we change its name to Credit Line, a much more user-friendly term. Eventually Credit Line has become the means of helping tens of thousands of families stay together, keep their homes, and work through the maze of debt. Founding that financial counselling service has been one of my proudest achievements.
Families rich and poor need to be taught money management. Even wealthy families. You can be an honest, intelligent, wealthy young person with good business sense and even a Harvard MBA and still lose it all – just ask young Warwick Fairfax! Or lose a lot of it – ask Jamie Packer.
Poor families have even less opportunity to learn how to gain, use and control money, and so are particularly vulnerable. Poor families are not given credit, are never taught how to discipline their spending on credit cards, are encouraged to try quick fixes through gambling, and rarely have good educational opportunities. So even though it is harder for the poor to get money, it is easier for them to lose it. [See Marriage Works April 2008. Eliminating Debt]
David Claerbaut in his excellent 2005 book “Urban Ministry” (p.76), says “Those who have been raised in poverty have never had much money to be handled in the first place. Consequently such childhood socialisers as allowances, toy purchases, and school banking are non-existent, giving the people little or no training in money management. Adults do not have credit cards, chequebooks, tax accountants, and deductions on which they sharpen their fiscal acumen and pass it along to their youth. There are simply no models. In female-headed families, the oldest child is often saddled with the shopping. Because they have no knowledge of how to handle money shrewdly and have little cash to begin with, they are often victim of economic exploitation.”
I remember one family of five children including a baby with a hole in the heart. Father had been sick for three months. Their only debt to a finance company was $3,000, but with the sickness, a consolidating loan was taken out to cover the Finance Company, which increased the debt to $11,000 with not one cent more to them. A George Adams loan at 140% interest paid the finance company. A Walter Pugh loan charging 162.4% interest was used to pay the George Adams loan. Bankruptcy was real. Yet for ten years this family had stayed home. No car. No outings. It was 9 1/2 years since the parents had been out at night alone.
Credit Line continued to work with the family. For the first time they had a small balance in the Credit Union for Christmas. Then came the surprise of a weekend holiday without cost at Vision Valley. Some of my donor friends paid for that. The children were excited as they were driven to the Valley – “Look at the horses, there’s a cow, what’s that?” Sunday afternoon we collected the children: “We rode the horses and the canoes. We had scones and cream and chicken for dinner.” The parents were so relaxed and happy. “I haven’t cooked a meal for two days, I just can’t believe it’s happening!” [See Marriage Works October 2008. Things to consider before buying a home]
People need to be taught how to manage money in their marriage, and Christian people have a wonderful head start on everybody else. For the Christian faith puts money management high on the list of requirements for all believers. Family wisdom in handling money is essential. Jewish families are taught to read the book of Proverbs regularly which is packed with scores of examples of good tips on managing money.
A survey of 34,000 people by the Australian Bureau of Statistics, found that many people rely on their family for financial assistance. Professor Bettina Cass, said the survey refuted “alarmist suggestions that we are seeing the death of the family. This information makes it quite clear that families are very strong in Australian society.” What then should families learn about money, marriage and managing?
1. Learn that money management is a part of life
Many people go along never anticipating that the time will come when their circumstances will change. That’s the shock that comes when a woman suddenly realises her husband is gone for good and she will just have to manage the children and the home on her own. That’s the stunning realisation that has come to many middle managers who have been secure in their jobs only to be made redundant at the time when their family expenses have been at their height. That’s the shock that comes when sickness suddenly cuts the family income by half. Mortgages still have to be paid. Food still costs money. Children still have to be supported.
Retrenchment from employment requires careful management of the family resources. A Life Line Phone In I once organized for retrenched workers revealed that all persons had commitments like mortgage repayments, credit cards, household debts, car repayments, etc.
A year later 60% of the callers still were not working; 12% were offered voluntary redundancy, 71% were retrenched involuntarily and 17% were forced to resign. 30% received no payout upon being sacked. 20% received less than $5000, and only 10% received a payout of over $50,000. Few could survive long unemployed with debt.
Since being retrenched only 18% had gained new full-time work. 60% were still without work one year later. Whereas the average income before being terminated was $34,500, their new jobs paid an average of $21,780. At this level house repayments were virtually impossible. If there were other payments of any kind, such as car repayments, credit card debt and store charge cards, these families were in severe trouble.
They were suddenly going to learn lessons about the accumulation of interest, the advisability of cutting up their cards, of starting a budget, of negotiating repayment levels with their bank, stores and credit providers, of repayment schedules and saving for anticipated expenditure. How sad that people should have to go through the pain of learning family money management at the very time when they can least afford it! The time to start learning is now! [See Marriage Works Oct 2009. Finances in Tough Times]
2. Know what the Bible teaches about money
The Bible says much about how to handle money and possessions. The problem of money is summed up by Jesus: “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money” (Matt 6:24). The word serve translates “to be a slave to”. It is not a question of advisability, “You should not serve both God and money.” That would be a priority choice. It is not a question of accountability, “You must not serve both God and money.” That would be a moral choice. Rather, it is a matter of impossibility, “You cannot serve both God and money.” There is no choice, we each can serve only one master: we are either slaves to God or slaves to money.
Why did Jesus say we cannot serve both? Solomon wisely said: “Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless.” (Ecclesiastes 5:10). Jesus knows the need for money we face. He knows the pressure we can be under to make money. He knows its allure would pull us away from God. That is why we must have a proper theology to guide our beliefs about how we are to gain, save, use and give our money and possessions. That’s why John Wesley taught about money constantly. [See: Marriage Works July 2008. Finance – God’s Way or the World’s Way]
3. Adopt a sound theology of money management
There are many families who would not be interested in a theology of management of money. But could I suggest you just read on because you may have been influenced more than you think by one of the three theologies followed by Christians.
I. Poverty Theology is seen in a Christian disgusted with worldliness and money. He believes possessions are a curse and has a strong bias toward helping the poor. He has few resources to actually help with the solution and usually advocates left-wing political ideas, especially socialist views on the means of the making of money and the exchange of property. This theology of Christian socialism has influenced all communist, socialist and left-wing political parties, especially in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.
II.Prosperity Theology is seen in many Pentecostal Christians who follow the teachings of Kenneth Copeland and others like him. The disciple of prosperity theology believes ‘you have not because you ask not’. They usually tithe and have experienced the material blessings available by tithing and because of their success with tithing are preoccupied with money. Others not experiencing God’s financial blessings are said to show lack of faith. Many disciples of prosperity theology live consumptive lifestyles and support right-wing politics.
III. Stewardship Theology is seen in Christians who believe God owns and controls everything. Possessions are a privilege and not a right; the steward gives up his rights. He reads Scripture to say possessions are a trust given in varying proportions, depending upon the God-given abilities he has and his faithfulness and obedience in following Biblical principles. The steward believes prosperity results from faithfully administering his talents, as given by God. He is not busy in accumulating wealth or renouncing it, but with being wise in the conduct of his affairs. His goal is to be like the man described in Psalm 112: “Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely, who conducts his affairs with justice…who scatters abroad his gifts to the poor.” His politics are middle of the road.
The perspectives of Poverty and Prosperity theologies are rife with flaws. The Prosperity gospel claims you can give to get, that you can create a transaction on God in which He is obligated to bless you. This view disregards your motives, whether or not you are living in sin, and God’s plan for your life. Likewise Poverty theology is flawed. The person who thinks you must be poor to be humble is mistaken. He doesn’t understand God’s mandate to be industrious and use his talents, and has a view that says poverty is romantic and ethical.
Stewardship theology weaves the virtues of Prosperity and Poverty theology together with the balance of God’s Word about money and possessions. Being a steward is more of an attitude, a way of looking at life as a caretaker. It is an approach to our faith – it is looking out not only for our own interests but also for the interests of others. Poverty theology exaggerates the role of sacrificial work, while the Prosperity gospel overemphasises the pursuit of financial rewards. The steward leads a balanced life, enjoying God’s abundance while always serving others in love. [See Marriage Works October 2006 The Fun of Budgeting (Part 1)
See Marriage Works January 2007 The Fun of Budgeting (Part 2)]
4. Follow the teachings of Jesus in managing money
Jesus understood the seduction of things and the liberation that comes through the right management of the things we possess. Sixteen of his thirty-eight parables are concerned with how we manage our money and possessions. One in every ten verses in the gospels, 288 in all, deal directly with how we gain, save, use and give our possessions.
It is said that there are five hundred verses in the Bible on prayer and 500 verses about faith, but some 2,350 verses on how to handle money and possessions! The Bible tells us that money, marriage and managing is fundamental to life.
Without being caught in the deceitfulness of riches we can focus on generosity, knowing that Jesus gave all, even His very life. Through His example, we know liberality is a mark of largeness in living. A man reveals the condition of his heart by his attitude toward money. No wonder Jesus sat in temples watching people give their offerings. “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21).
Christians who learn to tithe demonstrate good management principles. They know how to work out their income and expenditure and how to take a tenth of it to give to God’s work. Such budgeting is the beginning of control over expenditure and planning of income. A tithe is the money we give God before our offerings. The tithe is the “first fruit” of a person’s earnings or wealth, which always belongs to God (Exodus. 34:26). The tithe is the Lord’s (Leviticus 27:30) and if we do not give the tithe we rob God. Our offerings are on top of that.
The biggest problem with families who get into heavy debt is that they have no finance plan. We have to teach them to write down their income and opposite it all they require to live, together with a strategy for earning the income and a time plan for paying their expenditure regularly and proportionately. Christians who tithe have to do that first in order to work out their tenth they promise for God’s work. Managing marriage and money matters start best when you first give to God, for the rest is then ordered and planned. [See Marriage Works May 2009. Be Proactive – Establish a Financial Plan]
When we give, especially when we give beyond our tithes, we enter into true sowing and reaping. When you tithe, God promises to save you from disasters (Malachi. 3:11). But when you give offerings, something will be “given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over” (Luke 6:38).
The process started with God giving His best, Jesus Christ; it continues when a person surrenders his or her life in commitment to the Lord; and is visibly expressed in tithes and offerings. What a great statement of love and trust toward God, to give the very means by which we live – money. Money is an expression of our love.
Giving money follows the giving of self (2 Cor 8:1-5). When Zacchaeus became a believer the evidence of his changed heart was his desire to make restitution of what he had criminally and fraudulently obtained. The condition of his heart was shown in the use of his money (Luke 19:5-9). Restitution was not a word, but an action. He was generous and his life was in order.
In a later story, Cornelius the centurion qualified to become the gateway of the gospel to the Gentiles, by his praying and his offerings (Acts 10:2-8). Later still, the letter to the church at Corinth tells how those who willingly gave of their means to support the Gospel had first given themselves to God (2 Corinthians 8:5).
Families founder on the rock of unplanned finances and thoughtless debt. When we get our heart right with God we also get our money right, and when our money is right, our marriage and family life is also right.
Rev the Hon. Dr Gordon Moyes AC MLC