The word shiva has two different meanings—in two entirely different cultures—yet the meanings share the same underlying message. In Hinduism, Shiva is a deity who represents transformation. Through destruction and restoration, Shiva reminds us that endings are beginnings, and that our world is constantly undergoing a cycle of birth, death and rebirth.
In Judaism, shiva is the post-funeral ceremony when family and friends gather to share happy memories of the departed. Shiva is an uplifting time, reminding the living to appreciate the abundance in this world, and to seize the day (and kugel!) while you can.
I appreciate how both versions of shiva remind us there’s a beneficial—even beautiful—alchemy of emotions that occur when you’re faced with an ending. A healthful shiva perspective can help you view what seems like the worst of times as an opportunity for better times. For example, the death of an unsatisfying love relationship can be viewed as a chance to begin a highly fulfilling love relationship—one that will thrive, thanks to all your freshly gained wisdom.
Keeping both these shiva perspectives in mind, how about celebrating the death of a marriage or any relationship breakup by holding a ritualistic breakup ceremony!
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