Four signs to rule them all, but which ones?
On May 15th, I received a letter from the Washington State Liquor Control Board (WSLCB) informing me that as of April 3rd, I would be limited to four neon signs in my tavern’s windows. Furthermore, the signs could be no larger than 1,600 square inches.
The purpose of this rule was to ensure that innocent children would not be overexposed to garish advertisements that would induce them to consume products that could contain alcohol.
I have conformed to the new rule. However, I have a small dilemma: Which of the 13 neon signs that used to hang in my windows is least likely to cause children harm?
One sign says “Rainier” in red with a white mountain behind it. Is this safe? Another sign is shaped sort of like a guitar and says “Budweiser.” Would this cause children to pester their parents to buy the product or, even worse, aspire to become a rock star?
There was a sign that said “Steam” over an anchor design. This I knew to be dangerous to children because it surely would inspire them to get a bad hairdo and start reading the most alarming things to an unsuspecting public on evening television.
The worst of all was a sign that said “Schlitz” in big letters with the cryptic message: trade pure mark. That could encourage almost anyone to start speaking English badly.
The WSLCB did not include in its notification any guidelines on how to select a non-offending neon. I ask The Times and its readers for some help. How would one choose a neon advertisement that will not threaten the well being of our children?
— Gustav Hellthaler, Blue Moon Tavern owner, Seattle