Author: Serkadis

  • BlackBerry Maker Is Strained by Growth [Voices]

    By Roger Cheng and Phred Dvorak, Reporters, The Wall Street Journal

    The second BlackBerry outage in a week shows how Research In Motion Ltd. (RIMM), the maker of the popular smart phone, is feeling the strain of a ballooning customer base and intensifying competition.

    BlackBerry devices throughout the Americas suffered service interruptions from Tuesday afternoon through early Wednesday, telecommunications carriers said. RIM issued an apology and attributed the interruption to a flaw in recent versions of its instant-messaging program.

    The glitch caused an “unanticipated database issue within the BlackBerry infrastructure,” the company said. RIM declined to elaborate or make an executive available for comment.

    The back-to-back problems strike at one of the biggest selling points for the Waterloo, Ontario, handset maker: reliability. RIM tells customers—many of them big corporations that use BlackBerrys for internal email—that its services are more secure and more stable than those of its rivals.

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  • Goodbye 9 to 5 to relaunch after Xmas

    The Goodbye, 9 to 5 TV show and website is to relaunch after Christmas, production company Serious Leisure TV said today.

    “We like the Goodbye, 9 to 5 format very much,” said producer Chris Gosling, “and it seems that many viewers like the show, too – we’ve had an encouraging amount of feedback from TV viewers.”

    The show’s first batch of programmes, 16 in all, have given SLTV some experience in producing a weekly programme, as well as the fortnightly shows which have made their name in the leisure industry – The Caravan Channel and UK Boating.

    The Caravan Channel is probably the UK’s longest-running continuously produced satellite programme, with over 80 half-hour shows broadcast over the past 3 years on Information TV, Sky channel 166 and Freesat 402.

  • CLIMATE NUT BROWN WILL RUIN BRITAIN by John Ingham, Daily Express

    Article Tags: Copenhagen Conference, Front Page News, Public Polls

    Image Attachment
    GORDON Brown was yesterday accused of signing a £500billion death warrant for Britain’s economy in his desperate quest for a climate change deal.

    The Prime Minister has offered a dramatic 42 per cent cut to 1990 levels of carbon dioxide emissions by the year 2020.

    His pledge – the biggest reduction proposed by any western industrialised nation – was made despite a continuing debate about whether mankind is to blame for climate change.

    Daily Express readers showed their distrust of Mr Brown’s sweeping plans this week, with an overwhelming 98 per cent of those taking part in a phone vote agreeing that the nation was being conned over global warming.

    Click source to read FULL report by John Ingham.

    Source: express.co.uk

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  • Ford Fiesta to Tackle Premium Small Car Market

    Although Ford will debut the Fiesta in the United States as its smallest vehicle in the country, the company is willing to use the same model in order to enter the premium small car sector as well. Basically, the US-based manufacturer thinks that some new car buyers would opt for the advantages of such a small vehicle while benefiting from premium options such as Bluetooth and Sync technology.

    Pricing of such a premium Fiesta would go around $23,000, leftlanenews.com reported.
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  • What Are The Most Curable Forms Of Cancer?

    Being told that you have cancer can be one of the most frightening moments in anyone’s life. Those who are diagnosed with a malignant tumour wonder if this news is a death sentence at worst, or a debilitating condition which may change their life forever. But those diagnosed with cancer must remember that some types of malignant tumours respond very well to treatment and when caught early, most forms of cancer are curable. Some of the most common forms of cancer are also very curable, thanks to impressive advances in technology over the decade. It is very important not to generalize about the curability of various forms of cancer. For example, while the five year survival rate for lung cancer is quite low, the prognosis for those diagnosed with breast, prostate, testicular and most skin cancers is actually very good. For women, the most curable form of the disease is breast cancer, while the prognosis is often excellent for men diagnosed with prostate or testicular cancer.

    Testicular Cancer

    Testicular cancer most often strikes young men, between the age of 16 and 35. Of course, only a minority of men are ever diagnosed with testicular cancer. The most recent American statistics suggest that only 1 out of every
    250 men will be diagnosed with testicular cancer at some point in their life. The reassuring news, however, is that 95 percent of people who are diagnosed end up surviving, as long as the cancer is detected in its early stages. This very high survival rate makes testicular cancer the most curable form of the disease among men. Yet American physicians estimate that 400 people die from testicular cancer each year in the United States, mainly because people do not look out for warning signs and fail to get an early diagnosis.

    Testicular cancer, however, is not a silent killer, like lung or cervical cancer, since there are usually very obvious signs that something is wrong. The most common sign of testicular cancer is a small, hard and painless lump on the side of one testicle. In some cases, obvious swelling of one testicle can be a sign of cancer too, and doctors also ask men in the high-risk age range to look out for any changes in the texture of either testicle. Pain in the scrotum or abdomen is a less common symptom of testicular cancer. If you discover any of these symptoms, it is very important not to panic. A long list of other, less serious conditions can cause any of these warning signs, including epididymitis and testicular torsion. But you should always make an appointment with your family doctor if you detect a lump in your testicle.

    All forms of cancer are most curable if detected early. In order to detect testicular cancer, men should perform a testicular exam once a month. The best time to do this is right after having taken a shower. Simply check all sides of both testicles with your fingers, in order to detect any lumps, hardening, swelling or tenderness. Always keep in mind that testicular cancer does not normally cause pain and the hard lump that might appear is also painless.

    Treatment for testicular cancer depends on the stage of diagnosis, but it usually includes a combination of surgery, radiation and chemotherapy. Doctors will remove the affected testicle, and may suggest both radiation and chemotherapy, if the cancer has spread. Men who must go through this treatment should not worry about losing fertility, as they can maintain this even with a single testicle.  

    Breast Cancer

    While testicular cancer is the most curable form of the disease among young men, breast cancer can affect women at any age, but can be treated very effectively. The key with breast cancer is to detect it as soon as possible. Fortunately, many governments will actively encourage early detection by reminding women to get a regular mammogram. In fact, in Canada, the Province of Québec’s government sends out letters to women over 50 years of age each year, reminding them to make an appointment for a mammogram. These exams are completely free of charge, as they are covered by Canada’s socialized health care system.

    While mammograms are helpful in detecting breast cancer in the earliest stage, women are encouraged to perform self-exams on a regular basis, in order to detect any changes. Breast cancer usually appears as a firm lump in one breast, or in the armpits. The reason that it can appear as far away as in the armpit is because the breast tissue actually extends all the way from thecollarbone to the centre of the chest area. In most cases, this lump does not cause any pain. Women may also detect a change in the size of one or both breasts, swelling or redness or even scaling of the nipple. It is very important to remember that discovering a lump does not automatically mean that you have cancer, but it certainly should convince you to make an appointment with your family doctor who will also examine it, and may decide to register you for a mammogram or an ultrasound.

    Breast cancer most often strikes women who are over 50 years of age and this is when it is especially important to have a mammogram at least once every two years. Younger women, however, should perform monthly self-exams at home, starting from the age of puberty. Some women also have a higher risk of developing breast cancer, including those who gave birth to their first child after age 30 and those who never had children. A family history of ovarian cancer may also increase one’s risk of developing breast cancer.

    Treatment for breast cancer detected at an early age is usually very effective. The five year survival rate now stands at around 86 percent. This simply means that almost 9 out of 10 people diagnosed with breast cancer will be alive five years after they first receive the news from their doctor. There are many different types of treatment, depending on the stage and location of the tumour. Surgery is common, and this can involve a lumpectomy and a mastectomy. A lumpectomy means that the surgeon will only remove the tumour and surrounding tissue, but not the entire breast. A mastectomy, on the other hand, involves removing the affected breast and—in rare cases—the muscles underneath the breast. Doctors may also recommend chemotherapy, following surgery, and this is usually done if there is a belief that the cancer may have spread to the lymph nodes. Radiation therapy is used to treat breast cancer and is usually very effective in ensuring that there is no recurrence of the disease in 70 percent of the patients.

    Prostate Cancer

    While testicular cancer usually affects young men and while women at all ages should be on the look out for symptoms of breast cancer, prostate cancer is most common among men over 60 years of age. The survival rate for men diagnosed with Stage I and Stage II prostate cancers—the earliest form of the disease—is approximately 90 percent, thus making it highly curable. At Stage III, curability decreases to 50 percent.

    The best way to detect prostate cancer as early as possible is through a digital rectal exam. All men—regardless of age—should visit their doctor on a regular basis. But those over 60 years of age may also undergo a digital rectal exam, during their annual check-up. This exam is never very pleasant, but it is very important in detecting prostate cancer, as there are often no obvious symptoms during the earliest stages. During the exam, the doctor will use a glove and will place his finger into the patient’s rectum, to check the state of the prostate gland. The most obvious signs of cancer are lumps on the prostate gland and can be easily detected through this exam.

    Skin Cancer

    Skin cancer can strike both men and women, and at any age. The most obvious risk factor includes regular exposure to UV rays, by sunbathing between 10:00am and 2:00pm. There are several types of skin cancers, but basal cell carcinomas are both the most common and most easily treatable. In fact, these form 75 percent of all skin cancers diagnosed in the United States. What makes basal cell carcinomas so curable is that they do not usually metastasize. These cancerous growths appear on the head or neck, in 8 out of 10 patients. In the majority of cases, doctors will surgically remove the cancerous nodule, or growth, which usually has a pearly appearance and can be white, pink or brown in colour. In a minority of cases, doctors may treat basal cell carcinomas with radiation therapy and sometimes even with topical chemotherapy, which is generally applied directly to the skin, rather than taken orally.  

    Receiving a cancer diagnosis is always frightening for the patient. But it is important to keep in mind that some of the most common cancers—including breast, prostate, testicular and skin cancer—respond very well to treatment and are seen as highly curable. The key in all cases is early detection.

  • Patent Office Releases New Temporary Post-Bilski Test For Software Patents

    While we’re still waiting for the Supreme Court to rule on the Bilski case, which may or may not directly impact the question of software patents, JJ points out that the Patent Office has released some new rules on patentability, based on the appeals court ruling in Bilski (technically, the Patent Office issued a ruling, back in August, but just recently declared that ruling “precedential”). The full ruling can be found here (pdf). The key bit:


    For a claimed machine (or article of manufacture) involving a mathematical algorithm,

    1. Is the claim limited to a tangible practical application, in which the mathematical algorithm is applied, that results in a real-world use (e.g., “not a mere field-of-use label having no significance”)?
    2. Is the claim limited so as to not encompass substantially all practical applications of the mathematical algorithm either “in all fields” of use of the algorithm or even in “only one field?”

    If the machine (or article of manufacture) claim fails either prong of the two-part inquiry, then the claim is not directed to patent eligible subject matter.

    As many are noting, this remains incredibly vague, though the Patent Office is limited by what the courts have said. One would hope that the Supreme Court’s ruling in Bilski might lend some clarity, but the oral arguments suggested that the court might try to steer the decision away from anything having to do with software patents entirely. So, we may still have something of a mess for quite some time.

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  • Accepting to Improve your Personal Life

    Do you have the ability to accept the things you can change and the things you cannot change? Do you have the ability to accept that other people are opt to change them, rather than you changing them? Do you accept that you are who you are, regardless of what others think? Can you accept the many changes that take place in your life?

    If you answered yes to one or all of these questions then you are off to the start of improving your personal life. If you are willing to accept, you have the ability to laugh, even when something is not funny. For instance, if someone pushed you, you could stand back and laugh. The push is only a threat to your emotion, which you will see, accept and find a way to gain control of the situation.

    When you can accept things in life, including you and others you find a way to take control. When you are in control, it helps you to see how you can improve your personal life. When you learn to accept you will learn to discover you.

    Individuality is personal, which philosophers over generalize this subject. Many people in the world believe that when we act the same way at all times, we have established our identity. Politically incorrect! We have emotions, thoughts, behaviors, actions, and have been plagued by a world of influences both good and bad. Each day we will feel something new, which causes our personality to reflect on these changes. Therefore, when you see someone laughing one minute and crying the next, you are seeing a shift in emotions, which is a normal pattern of identity for this person. Unless the persons eyes change, behaviors change dramatically, friends change regularly, etc, and you are seeing common behaviors.

    We live in a world that desensitizes us. We are surrounding by billions of influences on television, in the media, on radio, in house-holds, government, schools and so forth. Each to their own, but everyone is judging someone at some time, which is something we have to accept. We cannot change these peoples behaviors and way of thinking, but we can change ours. This is a part of learning and accepting. The best way around the world is become your own influence and allow other influences to make someone else’s life miserable. Only rely on sources that prove truthful with their actions, behaviors and words. Positive reflections are the key to living happier.

    Once you learn to accept you will be eager to laugh. For instance, if someone makes you mad you will see the humor in his or her actions. You may see the humor in your actions if you make a mistake and feed into their stupidity.

    Once you start to see the humor in life, you will feel better inside. We are involved in a unruly world filled with greedy people, envious souls, lusty tigers, and so on. We have to learn how to work around these people, accept us and move on. Once you learn to change to better you, other people may follow. Good conduct has proven far more effective than words to encourage others to change.

    As you grow you will feel a new hunger, and that hunger will guide you to discover new ways to better you. In time as you start to feel better, you will see a need to exercise, eat right, and hang out with positive influences and so on. Once you feel this hunger, you will feel inspired to labor to achieve your goals.


  • Google’s ‘Open’ Definition: Simply Brilliant Business, But is It Evil? [Voices]

    By Joe Wilcox, Chronicler of Technology, Culture and Stupidity

    Just about everyone who is anyone has asked “Is Google evil?” some time during 2009. I did, in an early November post. Google’s (GOOG) growing dominance is reason enough to wonder.

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  • The Data-Crunching Powerhouse Behind ‘Avatar’ [Voices]

    By John Rath, Contributor, Data Center Knowledge

    It takes a lot of data center horsepower to create the stunning visual effects behind blockbuster movies such as King Kong, X-Men, the Lord of the Rings trilogy and most recently, James Cameron’s $230 million Avatar. Tucked away in Wellington, New Zealand are the facilities where visual effects company Weta Digital renders the imaginary landscapes of Middle Earth and Pandora at a campus of studios, production facilities, soundstages and a purpose-built data center.

    The 10,000 square foot server farm manages thousands of work orders and a serious amount of data.

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  • Why Does Facebook Want to Suck the Fun Out of Unfriending? [Voices]

    By Dan Macsai, Assistant Editor, Fast Company

    As Facebook roars past the 350 million usermark, it’s become so ubiquitous that literally everybody I know has a profile. And even though I’ve accepted precisely 1,252 of their friend requests over the years–not that I’m counting or anything–here’s the truth: We’re entering a new year, a new decade, and I’m ready to purge.

    So imagine my excitement when I stumbled across Seppukoo, a site that helps you deactivate your Facebook profile, then creates a tongue-in-cheek memorial page and sends it to all of your Facebook friends.

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  • The Winter of Our Content [Voices]

    By Larry Downes, Contributor, The Hill

    “With all that programming under its control, Comcast (CMCSA) will have every incentive to take its shows off of the Internet and force consumers to buy a cable subscription to get online access to that programming.”

    So said Public Knowledge’s Gigi Sohn, railing against the recently announced deal to merge cable giant Comcast with GE’s (GE) NBC/Universal. The parties are already expecting a long regulatory battle, with either the Department of Justice or the Federal Trade Commission taking the lead, backed by the Federal Communications Commission.

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  • Are Hewlett-Packard Computers Really Racist? [Voices]

    By Mercedes Bunz, Media Reporter, Guardian

    Some people take technical malfunctions with good humour. One of them is Desi, a black man, whose YouTube film about Hewlett-Packard’s (HPQ) new MediaSmart webcam became viral after it showed that the camera can track users’ face – except when they’re black.

    In the entertaining video Desi and his white co-worker demonstrate the face-tracking software on Hewlett-Packard’s MediaSmart computer.

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  • Five Fab Health Reads as the Turkey Roasts

    Can you “lose weight” in a restaurant? Women’s Health offers some smart strategies for sticking with your diet goals and avoiding deceptive menus tricks while eating out in their article, 5 Ways to Lose Weight at a Restaurant.

    restaurant-menus

    You’re likely watching more TV than usual during Christmas vacation. Is that horrible? SEED magazine explores whether TV is really totally evil for your health. Sure, you need exercise, but how does TV fit into the equation? Is some TV good for us? See what SEED thinks in their article, TV’s Unintended Consequences.

    Are you looking forward to Christmas so much you might experience disappointment on December 26? Call it the “let down effect.” Psychology Today offers some tips on avoiding the let down effect and potential sickness after the holidays in their article, When the Good Times Make Us Sick.

    Is that “healthy food” really healthy? Maybe low-fat dressing isn’t the best choice. And perhaps egg yolks aren’t the horrible things we think they are. Experience Life magazine encourages you to reconsider some of your seemingly wholesome dietary choices in their article, 6 “Healthy” Eating Choices to Rethink.

    Maybe you don’t have time for a full hour of yoga during the holidays, but you can still get in a few poses that count! Yoga Journal gives you some practical tips on four quick poses to fit into your busy day in their article, Every Move You Make. Yes, you do have time for a pose or two, especially one called “happy baby pose.”

    (Image via stock.xchng)

    Post from: Blisstree

    Five Fab Health Reads as the Turkey Roasts

  • WebTuga deseja-lhe um Bom Natal

    Azevinho NatalO Natal está aí e não podíamos deixar de desejar a todos os nossos leitores e familiares um feliz Natal com tudo do bom e melhor.

    Esta é a época do ano em que a família toda se reúne e portanto já vale a pena festejar essa união.

    O WebTuga não se esqueceu de si este Natal, tendo para tal decidido lançar um Passatempo de Natal onde poderá ganhar um plano de Alojamento. Quem sabe deste passatempo não saia um projecto com sucesso em 2010!

    Boas Festas!

    WebTugaWebTuga deseja-lhe um Bom Natal

  • Jetter Present New High-End Controller

    Jetter expand their highest-level of the JetWeb controller series by the new JetControl 940MC. The JetControl 940MC will be introduced at the SPS/IPC/DRIVES trade fair in Nuremberg. It has been mainly developed for applications comprising a great number of motion systems for quick cycles and high dynamics. These are, for example, path control and interpolation applications, as well as technological functions like screw-capping, electronic gearing, winding function, etc. Compared to the already obtainable controllers of the JetControl series, the JetControl 940MC is expandable by even more peripheral and axis modules. The JetControl 940MC is programmed by means of the high-level language JetSym STX which is able to multitask. This is the main difference between the classical PLC controllers and the JetControl 940MC. Further, various interfaces (Ethernet, CAN, serial, USB) are available. The standard Ethernet TCP/IP is applied as communication network. This way, IT services, such as HTTP, FTP, and e-mailing, which the users have always known from JetWeb, can be implied.

  • Indiagames To Launch New Cricket Gaming iPhone App

    One of India’s most popular gaming platforms Indiagames is launching a nifty new Cricket iPhone app, called Cricket T20 Fever. Cricket is hugely popular in India and the new app will be a feature rich gaming app that will aim to simulate the experience of playing the sport and competing against other players.

    The game will launch first on the iPhone and as a PC browser based game and within a few months be available on additional platforms like Symbian, Symbian, Maemo, PSP, Xbox Live Arcade and Nintendo DSi. And the app will feature Facebook Connect.

    Indiagames has already released a number of mobile cricket apps, including its Cricket T20 World Championship app. Initially Indiagames plans to launch a free version of the game on App Store and a Paid Premium version but will also be experimenting with microtransactions with the app. While cricket doesn’t have a significant fan base in the U.S., the sport has a huge following in other parts of the world, such as India.

    Crunch Network: CrunchGear drool over the sexiest new gadgets and hardware.


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  • San Francisco considers displaying phone radiation levels next to price tag

    If the San Francisco Department of the Environment gets its way, starting as soon as next month Bay Area residents might start noticing the radiation levels of cellphones displayed prominently next to their respective price at retail outlets. This is, of course, despite no definitive research that the handsets cause harm and the FCC’s insistence that the devices sold to consumers are safe. The proposal is being endorsed by Mayor Gavin Newsom, who as it’s noted is not about to stop using his iPhone anytime soon. Not to worry, Maine, you’ll still keep the top spot for most ridiculous cellphone warning label.

    San Francisco considers displaying phone radiation levels next to price tag originally appeared on Engadget on Thu, 24 Dec 2009 02:49:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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  • 5 o’clock roundup: Attack downs e-commerce sites, Google hits FTC speed bumps and more

    Here’s the latest action:

    Blackberry Messenger to blame for service outage — Blackberry experienced delays and interruptions when trying to send or receive messages during a service-wide outage yesterday. Today, the phone’s parent company,Research in Motion, attributed the trouble to two recently-launched versions of Blackberry Messenger that turned out to be buggy. In response, the company is providing an even newer version, recommending that all users download it as soon as possible.

    google-monopolyFTC puts Google’s AdMob buy under the microscopeGoogle has been asked for a second time to turn over documents related to its acquisition of the mobile advertising network to the Federal Trade Commission. This could be a sign that the deal is setting off antitrust alarm bells, but so far the search engine is playing it cool.

    Nexus One may be invite only to start — Engadget reports that the Nexus One may be on sale by Jan. 5. But eager buyers shouldn’t get their hopes up. Apparently Google will only be handing out invitations for the phone to select individuals initially. It’s unclear how or when they will choose these customers, or when it will transition to general release. The article also lists some new specs on the handset.

    DDoS attack strikes before Christmas, slows e-commerce giants — An attack targeting Neustar, the domain name service provider for web sites like Amazon, Expedia and Wal-Mart, took some of the biggest shopping sites on the internet down today, with just two days left before the big holiday. This is the second year in a row this has happened.

    Barnes and Noble’s Nook beats expectations — After receiving lackluster reviews, the e-reader being offered through Barnes and Noble, called the Nook, will probably sell about 60,000 units in 2009, its inaugural year. While this is more than the company had anticipated — a generally good sign — it doesn’t seem so impressive when you compare it to the 400,000 Kindles sold by Amazon in its first year.

    Indiana does its best to lure EV maker Th!nk – The County Council in Elkhart, Ind. voted to preliminarily approve a decade-long tax break for Norwegian electric vehicle maker, if the company agrees to build its new plant near Middlebury. But so far, Th!nk has named Oregon and Michigan as possible locales.

    Is Solyndra set up to lose money?Greentech Media breaks down the pre-IPO company’s financial model, revealing that it could continue to lose money if it doesn’t bring its manufacturing prices far enough below its current module pricetags.

    Screen shot 2009-12-23 at 11.22.31 PMGenetic testing co. 23andMe captures $27.8M — The company, co-founded by Anne Wojcicki (wife of Google founder Sergey Brin), brought in the sum in a second round of funding. It allows consumers to send in a sample of saliva to have their genomes read for predispositions to disease and other conditions — a concept backed by Google, Genentech, New Enterprise Associates and Mohr Davidow Ventures (which later sold its stake after throwing its weight behind competitor Navigenics).

    San Francisco resurfaces cell phone-cancer concerns — The city is toying with the idea of requiring mobile retailers to warn consumers that their cellular phones could potentially cause cancer due to radiation. Despite past rulings that there is no connection between the two, a similar ordinance is being discussed in Maine as well.

    Cc:Betty cleans up your mobile inbox — The application, used to thread and keep track of emails sent between groups of people for easy viewing, has just launched for the iPhone, allowing users to organize mail on their phone for simple access on the go.


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  • Stepfamily Sanity During Holidays

    You may remember the Stepmonster book giveaway from October. Wednesday Martin, author of Stepmonster, wants to share some holiday coping skills for stepfamilies.

    Specifically, Martin, a social researcher, is giving you 10 simple tips for helping to maintain sanity in stepfamilies during the holidays. Martin has appeared as a stepparenting expert on NPR, the BBC Newshour, Fox News and NBC Weekend Today. Her newest book, Stepmonster, is a finalist in the parenting category of the “Books for a Better Life” award. The author is also a regular contributor to Psychology Today.

    Martin, stepmother for nearly a decade, lives in New York City with her husband and two sons. Her stepdaughters are young adults. Visit Martin’s website to learn more.

    holiday-gather

    Stepfamily Sanity this Holiday Season
    By Wednesday Martin, Ph.D.,
    Author of Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do

    When you think of holidays, you probably think of family.

    And that’s what makes holidays so tough for stepfamilies. At this time of year, couples in a remarriage with children might be feeling . . . imperfect. For example, they might be polarized — he misses his kids, while she hopes they won’t treat her like the maid when they show up. She wants to buy her 25-year old’s plane ticket to come for a holiday visit — he thinks she spoils her kids and young adults should pay their own way.

    Even if they’re on the same page about their step/kids, both members of the couple likely find themselves facing plenty of misunderstanding from friends and family as visions of sugarplums dance in our collective heads. “His kids won’t be here for the holidays? How come?!” “I can’t believe they’re going to spend only Christmas Eve with you.” “You’re not doing holidays with his ex? How come? Isn’t that the best thing for the kids?”

    In the face of all the pressure and misunderstanding, take heart. Here are ten simple tips for stepfamily sanity this holiday season.

    1. Give up on “blending.” Stepfamilies come together in their own ways, and in their own time — experts say four to 12 years! Particularly at holiday time, stepkids of any age may feel their loyalty binds more acutely (”Dad’s remarried but mom’s not so I should spend the whole holiday with her”). And sometimes in spite of a stepparent’s best efforts, a stepchild may keep his or her distance, taking a “stand” at holiday time. Don’t expect your stepfamily to resemble an eggnog smoothie during the holidays and you’ll spare yourself and your marriage a lot of aggravation.

    2. Let your stepfamily be what it is. One family I interviewed put up two trees every year, because it mattered that much to them all to honor their own traditions. Respecting those differences can help everyone come together in their own way.

    3. Know that you and your spouse will probably argue. From deciding how much to spend on gifts for her kids, to reopening old wounds about how the stepkids behaved during holidays past, couples in a remarriage with children are under extraordinary pressure this season. Arguments aren’t signs of failure — they’re opportunities to communicate. Find communication formulas and tips that work for you in Stepmonster and other books for couples with stepchildren.

    4. Keep it normal. Whether they’re five or 50, what kids want post divorce and remarriage is a sense of belonging. So skip the red carpet welcome and think “inclusive” and “normal.” Give mom or dad some time alone with his or her kids, and then do the things you do every day and every holiday, inviting the kids to join. Let older and adult stepkids help with holiday meal planning and prep, serving and clean-up. Little ones can make place cards or holiday art for guests. This helps them feel like family, not guests. And when they’re pitching in and happy, stepmom/stepdad won’t feel as depleted or de-centered by their visit.

    5. Choose side by side activities. Puzzles, stringing popcorn, baking, and watching a holiday movie all let you spend time together without interacting “head on,” which experts like Patricia Papernow tell us can be more stressful for “steps.”

    6. Know your limits. Don’t do or give in a way that will increase your resentment. If your stepkids habitually forget to bring anything for you, or have a history of not writing thank you notes, don’t go overboard with extravagant gifts and efforts. Let them be your guide to avoid martyr syndrome (”I do and I do for them!”) during (and after) the holidays.

    7. Strategize ahead of time. Stepfamilies aren’t first families. There may be tensions, and that’s normal. Spouses might have to plan out activities and time alone ahead of time. “I think I’m going to need a break tomorrow. How about a long walk together first thing in the morning?” This is not a failure — just a constructive way of adapting.

    8. Remember stepfamily members bond best one-on-one. All-together-now activities can activate stepkids’ anxieties about who’s an insider and who’s an outsider. Give parent and stepparent plenty of one-on-one time with kids and stepkids — and with each other. And don’t forget about yourselves as a couple. You need one-on-one time, too.

    9. Get out of the house. For stepmothers especially, there can be extraordinary pressure to create that Norman Rockwell aura over the holidays. Before the pressure gets to be too much, get out to see friends and your own family. Take time to pamper, whether it’s a spa visit or a coffee with pals who understand and don’t judge. Getting out of your own home, away from your stepkids and even your spouse, isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a necessity, rejuvenating you and helping prevent stepparental burnout.

    10. Let go of the guilt. Remember that even first families struggle with unrealistic expectations during the holidays. If things don’t go perfectly — if there are squabbles or hurt feelings — have faith that this is normal and won’t damage the kids or your marriage irreparably. Stepfamily members are bound to have differences and even blow-ups. By showing your stepkids that people can argue and then move on, you are modeling the kind of resilience that will serve them well for a lifetime. That might be the ultimate holiday gift.

    ©2009 Wednesday Martin, Ph.D., author of Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do

    (Image via flickr/iwona)

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