Author: Lauren – University of Michigan

Valentine’s Day usually includes a whole lotta red. But why not make it a little Green this year? If you’re still looking for the perfect gift idea or V-Day plan – or if your original plan upped your Carbon Footprint by, like, 10 tons – try these earth friendly ideas on for size.

Send an Earth Friendly Card: One billion cards are sent every Valentine’s Day. Lay those puppies down side by side and you could circle the earth five times! Instead of heading to your local Hallmark and taking part in the clearing of unnecessary trees, why not send a card on recycled paper? Or, better yet, a plantable card; when V-Day is long past, your special someone can just pop that card in the ground and watch your love blossom. (That was just too easy.)

Cook Dinner At Home: No need to waste precious gas by driving to a restaurant. Try something different – and far more romantic – and cook a candlelit dinner at home. Getting your produce and meat from a Farmer’s Market is a great idea as everything is locally grown, usually without those pesky pesticides. And those romantic candles will set the mood and eliminate the energy wasted by overhead lighting!

Gifts that Don’t Need Wrapping: Avoid the clichéd box of chocolates or the gifts that require tons of wasteful wrapping paper. Instead, give your love a sensual massage or set up a romantic bubble bath for two (saves on the water!). If you are really feeling green, take this holiday and donate to an environmental cause. It may not have the romantic Valentine’s Day feel, but it will make you feel good inside.

Going Green for V-Day is easy and actually quite appealing. Now if only I had someone to share it (and a bath) with…

It has been about sixteen hours since Taylor Swift won the Grammy for album of the year and I’m still fuming. My heart hasn’t stopped pounding and I haven’t been able to eat a thing (though that might have something to do with the half gallon of hummus I housed during the show).

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Taylor Swift is overrated.
And if I was at the Grammys last night, I probably would have chugged a bottle of Hennessy and jumped on the stage to pull a Kanye.

I’ve heard your arguments:
Taylor writes her own music.
She’s the fresh new face of country.
Her songs are really good.
“I actually hate you for writing this article.” (Nice comment from a reader.)

I get it. (Well, not the “I hate you” part; I’m really quite lovable!) I like to sing along to “You Belong With Me” just as much as the next drunk girl (or guy – why do they know every word!?) and I agree that Taylor’s totally cute and gracious and all that jazz. But I just can’t see how anyone can think Taylor Swift’s debut album is better than a single album nominated against her last night, especially Lady Gaga.

And I thought that well before I saw her disastrous performance with Stevie Nicks last night. For those of you who, like myself, tried to black out that sh*tshow, here is the video.

The show was filled with epic performances by truly talented individuals. And then there was Taylor, proving to the world that she isn’t much without some very crafty editing in a recording studio somewhere in Nashville. Her voice was flat, she couldn’t stay on key and you know Stevie Nicks just wanted to take her tambourine and get the hell out of there.

Yet somehow (probably because the awards were chosen before anyone saw that debacle) Taylor still managed to take home the biggest award of the night.

I’m not saying that Taylor doesn’t have talent – clearly she knows how to write a catchy song and she knows her way around an acoustic guitar – but there is no way her album was the best album of the year. Lady Gaga should have won that award and everybody who isn’t under the Taylor Swift spell (seriously, what kind of perfume is that girl wearing!?) knows that.

Oh and PS: square cleavage looks good on no one. Just sayin’.

Bye bye booze

In this new series we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer for a month as she takes on a personal challenge. This month we’re following Lauren from University of Michigan. She’s going sober for the month of February and will be sharing her ups and downs with us each Saturday.]

When I told my friends I would be giving up alcohol for an entire month, I got one of three reactions:

1. Why would you do that?!
2. I bet you $100 you don’t make it.
3. Why the hell would you do that?!

When I told my family, I got these reactions:

1. “Bullsh*t.” – Mom
2. “Why would you do that??” – Dad
3. “It’s a good thing your friends are still drinking; I doubt anyone would like you if they were sober.” – Brother

You see, I am a party girl and everyone knows it. I am incredibly responsible, hard-working and focused when I need to be, but when I let loose, I really let loose. My friends can always count on me to not only join them at the party (flask in hand), but to be the party. They didn’t call me Drunk Lauren freshman year for nothing. 

And that’s exactly why I decided to take on this challenge. Since I got to college and took my first sip of alcohol (which was Jungle Juice served from a garbage can, mind you), I have not gone an entire month without drinking. Usually pretty heavily. I spend my weekends (which often start on Thursday nights) in a perpetual cycle of drunk, hungover, feeling a bit better, then drunk again. It’s exhausting, it’s expensive and I know it’s the reason over half of my jeans don’t fit anymore.

I want to go sober for a month to prove to myself that I can do it. I’m also curious to to see how much better I can feel, how much money I can save and how much weight I can lose. (That last one isn’t really important, but I’m curious to see if cutting all those empty calories out/not being too hungover to hit the gym on the weekends makes a difference).

I know it’s going to be hard. Drinking, as much as we don’t like to admit it, is central to our social lives. It’s what we do. So what am I going to do now that I can’t partake in the drinking festivities? If I want to see my friends at all during the month of February (which, obviously, I do) I have two options: learn how to go out and not drink or try and convince all of them to do some alternative sober activities. Neither of which will be easy considering my friends’ favorite pastime is Beer Pong.

But I’m going to do it, despite the fact that not one person I know believes me. When I put my mind to something – even something as difficult as this – I do it. Of course, I wasn’t totally into this decision last night as I was taking my last O-Bomb for the month and dancing to Ke$ha on a stage. But seeing as I spent my morning moaning in my bed until someone brought me a Gatorade and a bagel and have now taken 40-minutes to string my thoughts together into a coherent post (a task which would normally take about 5) , I’m actually looking forward to the next month of sobriety.

I can’t wait to see what February brings!

I look good after a little GTL. Now I just need to find me a gorilla.

It’s Friday. My brain stopped working 3 days ago. In lieu of doing actual work I’ve spent the past 2 hours catching up on TFLN, stalking photos of people I do not know on Facebook and trying to figure out what will be going in my flask tonight.

And then I found this. The best thing I’ve seen online since When I Had Braces:

Jerzify Yourself.

It’s exactly what it sounds like. Put your picture in, click a few buttons and find out what you’d look like if you were born into Snooki’s fam. I can’t imagine a better way to spend my time on this cold Friday afternoon. And based on my outcome, Angelina (remember her?) was wrong; I’m the hottest Guidette around.

I often put on full makeup to give advice over cappuccino.

Last night a friend called me in a panic at 10:30. She went out with a guy, really liked him and still hadn’t heard from him three days later.

“Should I call him?” She asked.

I spent the next thirty minutes on the phone with her, giving her advice, telling her what I’d do in the situation, helping her regain her sanity. When she was finally at ease, we hung up and I returned to my (then soggy) bowl of cereal and DVR’d episode of The Bachelor.

These calls come often. My friends – single and very un-single – are constantly coming to me for relationship advice. I tend to be brutally honest in all aspects of my life (“Yes, I agree, you are being a bitch”) so people trust my opinions and know that I’ll give it to them straight. They tell me that I always seem to know the right thing to do and never judge them for their less-than-stellar choices (like my friend who made up a Facebook account to stalk the sh*t out of her new guy’s ex girlfriend. Though I did tell her that was a really bad idea…)

The only problem is that I am single. And not just between-relationships single; more like haven’t-had-a-real-relationship-in-three-years-even-though-I’m-trying single. So I have to wonder: Why are people coming to me?

It’s true – I don’t want to toot my own horn or anything, but I give really good advice. I have a lot of guy friends, which gives me a unique perspective, and I really know and understand the male mind. I have also done a lot  dating in my short time on this planet, so I know what I’m talking about. But do I? I mean, I’m. still. single. I’ve had tons of first dates, a few late night suitors and many failed attempts at relationships. My evenings are spent cuddling with Pop-Tarts and watching crappy dating shows.

How can people trust what I have to say when I have nothing to show for it?

I wouldn’t trust a 14-year-old to teach me how to drive much like I wouldn’t ask my sober mom’s advice on the best hangover remedy. So why are people coming to me? Why do people trust me to make such important decisions in their life? Why does anyone think I know what the hell I’m talking about?

And why, when my relationship advice works wonders for everyone around me, is it not doing jack sh*t for me?