According to this tale by Fake Steve Jobs, the Apple tablet isn’t just great—it actually cures lupus. In other words, Dr. House’s entire diagnostic team is pretty much out of a job as of next week. [FakeSteve]

What could this be? A crashed, miniature spaceship? An alien device that burrows in through the back of your skull to control your every thought??

Nope. It’s a frother. A completely custom, completely badass frother.

Starting with a $2 IKEA milk frother, designer Laurent Hongisto added some repurposed cutlery and silicone to the mix to create this one-of-a-kind design.

Well, that, or aliens are invading and they’re assimilating into our coffee culture. [Laurent Hongisto via Core77]

You don’t know how to use this toilet? Wait, wait, you don’t know about the three seashells, either?? How could someone not understand the three seashells? Well, before you are further humiliated, let me explain.

The Home Core Integrated Toilet, a concept by Dang Jingwei, fits a pedestal sink and a toilet into one, eco-friendly unit with a dangerous-looking swivel.

When you wash your hands or brush your teeth in the sink, the system can retain this “gray water” for the toilet. Apparently, your butt excretions are not as picky as your mouth—who woulda thunk—so mixing some toothpaste with what is already wretched waste is no big deal. (Though, I’ll admit, it’s an image I’m not exactly keen on seeing.)

As for the seashells, those are just there to hold hand jewelry. What were you doing with them? [Yanko Design via DVICE]

Apple is quietly padding the buffer on new, completely stock 27-inch iMac shipments to 3 weeks, for reasons we assume are tied to their well-documented manufacturing issues.

(You’ve probably heard us talking about the iMac’s production problems with yellow and flickering screens, but if not, follow the Faulty iMac Saga here.)

Notably, Apple has not delayed shipments on 21-inch iMacs, even though they, too, can be afflicted. In all fairness, however, I’ve found reports of 27-inch iMac problems to be far more prevalent.

While Apple hasn’t released a statement as to the reasons for delays, we can only hope the company has decided to pin down whatever issues are occurring as opposed to mailing out more broken computers and hoping nobody would notice. [AppleInsider]

As a former morning news Chyron operator responsible for countless typos including broadcast headlines like “Pubic Relations,” I’m allowed to laugh—even if this guy got fired. You, on the other hand, must only chuckle into your sleeve. [gothamist]

We knew what airlines charge for Wi-Fi, and now we’ve found another handy resource—a chart outlining how much checking up to three bags costs on each airline. Meal prices are included as well, if you dare. [Orbitz]

Blur is usually something we try to avoid in photography—in lowlight especially, memories can be destroyed by this muddling of shapes and colors. But for this week’s Shooting Challenge, we want you to harness motion blur‘s artistic power.

The Challenge
Capture motion blur, in any way you’d like.

The Tips
If you feel a bit in over your head, there’s a great tutorial on capturing motion blur here. (Basically, you’ll want to slow down your shutter speed and lock down your camera—but feel free to use more advanced techniques, obviously.)

The Rules
1. Submissions need to be your own.
2. Photos need to be taken the week of the contest. (No portfolio linking or it spoils the “challenge” part.)
3. Explain, briefly, the equipment, settings and technique used to snag the shot.
4. Email submissions to [email protected].
5. Include 800px wide image AND 2560×1600 sized in email. More details on these below.

Send your best entries by Sunday, January 24th at 6PM Eastern to [email protected] with “Motion Blur” in the subject line. Save your files as JPGs or GIFs, and use a FirstnameLastname.jpg (800px) and FirstnameLasnameWALLPAPER.jpg (2560px) naming convention. Include your shooting summary (camera, lens, ISO, etc) in the body of the email. [Image by iPhotograph]

The Zero Emission Electric Propulsion Ship is a 100-foot, 800-person ferry that sucks no diesel. Instead, the boat operates from a huge bay of lithium ion batteries, all while looking vaguely like it’s going to kill you and your family.

Just how many batteries are we talking about? Between 200 and 300 times the amount you’d find in an electric car—all for a fuel capacity of only about 50 miles.

For now, what you see here is just a prototype. Manufacturers at IHI Marine United hope to commercialize the machine by 2015 with the hopes that battery prices will be more economical. [Fareastgizmos via technabob]

We’ve all heard allusions to Cameron’s massive sets, motion cap system and 3D/virtual cameras used to create Avatar, but this 22-minute clip actually shows us these techniques. (So don’t watch this video if you don’t want the magic spoiled):

Hit up about 16 minutes in to see CGI characters layered into live action scenes in real time—which is essentially augmented reality making its way into filmmaking. [Sci Fi Wire]

The Sony Ericsson Vivaz, formerly known as the Kurara, is a smartphone with enough optical muscle to challenge any high end pocket camcorder.

We’ll ignore the Symbian S60 OS for a moment (pretending that Android wouldn’t be so, so much more tempting), and point out the Vivaz’s 8.1MP camera with perks like face detection, that’s also completely capable of shooting 720P videos and uploading them to services like YouTube or playing them back through TV-out.

Otherwise, the Vivaz has the typical smartphone amenities, including a 3.2-inch (360 x 640) touchscreen, EDGE/UMTS/HSDPA 7.2 Mbit/s/HSUPA, Wi-Fi, GPS and MicroSD support. Look for the Vivaz soon, running somewhere between $670 and $750 in select markets. [Sony Ericsson via phoneArena]

The latest iMac has been shipping for over two months, yet Apple is still mailing out broken iMacs. The catch? Even Steve Jobs himself cannot fix iMacs wrought with yellow, flickering screens.

Can You Safely Purchase an iMac Yet?

Nope.

Why?

Yellow screens and flickering screens are both persistent problems, still being reported by our readers, that no firmware update has fixed. Also, it looks like new orders may be getting delayed, meaning that you might as well wait until these systems are shipping immediately before handing Apple a few grand.

Can Writing Steve Jobs Make It Right?

Nope again.

Seriously, from one reader:

“I was (un)lucky enough to buy a 27” imac…I noticed the disturbing yellow tinge to the bottom of the screen, though it’s quite a bit better than the first one you had. As I became more and more enraged, I began to search for an answer and after being rebuffed by the Apple tech people as they refused to act like the yellowing was anything more than a one of situation, I resorted to desperate measures.

I mailed [email protected]. It worked. In a way. I was promised that I could essentially have as many replacements as I wanted until it was fixed, but it was clear that there was no way to guarantee that my new machine would be problem free, much as the your experience with the Apple people in your third article.”

I always find it amusing that so many people write Jobs himself with their technical problems, but when even the highest of high technical support cannot make a product right, there’s a SERIOUS PROBLEM.

LEDs Not the Problem

One extremely tech-knowledgeable reader wrote me after dissecting his own yellowed iMac. He dug around inside the monitor and color-temperature-tested all of the machine’s LED backlighting. He said that the LEDs all read about 9300K, which is, in fact, very, very cool (think blue, not yellow), and brightness readings were normal as well. Then he confirmed his findings on ANOTHER yellow iMac, recording all LEDs as within expected thresholds of +-10mcd brightness, +- 20nm in color.

So from what we can tell, iMac displays don’t have an LED problem—which certainly comes as a surprise.

Quote of the Week

“I feel that after sixteen years of possessing various Apple computers that never gave me one day’s interruption, I am being taken advantage of by Apple.”

Keep those updates coming! Mail them to submissionsATgizmodo.com. And keep fighting the good fight!

The “Hamster Shredder” is just a sculpture by artist Tom Ballhatchet, but I’ll hand it to him, a paper shredder attached to a rodent cage is actually a pretty practical idea. [Tom Ballhatchet via Unplggd]

In the 1960’s, Man imagined maid robots like Rosie efficiently coasting around the house in a menopausal whir. In 2010, we get Mahru-Z—the world’s most advanced autonomous butler. And you wonder why we watch so much television.

Now, I don’t want to say that the world’s robotocists have let me down, but it shouldn’t take 10 minutes and 2 bipeds to make me a piece of toast. Get me the creative team behind Pee Wee’s Playhouse—he had a breakfast contraption that, in hindsight, may have been a better use for our R&D budget. [KoreaTimes via Robots via CrunchGear]

The Evoline Port Lounge Table isn’t a bad idea—it’s just a simple side table that pops out power and ethernet jacks so you never need to crawl around on the floor. The problem is that the table is…

…SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO UGLY*. [schulte via BornRich via Ubergizmo]

*Like someone is sodomizing an egg pod from Aliens, ugly.

Like xkcd, I have been known to marvel at the compact efficiency of modern flash storage, but I’d never sleep with it. Not sober, at least. [xkcd]

AT&T just wants you to know, their service will be ready to cover Dolphin Stadium for Super Bowl XLIV. Which makes you wonder, why wouldn’t AT&T’s service be prepped to handle the stress of a packed stadium?

A skeptic might see AT&T’s distribution of a press release to promise adequate bandwidth during a professional sporting event as implication that, normally, AT&T isn’t so reliable at sporting events!

But how big of a deal are sports, really? If you combine regular season games of the NBA, NHL, NFL, and MLB, you’ll realize there are 5,146 instances yearly in which, apparently, AT&T sees some reason to doubt their own coverage. And we’re not even talking about preseason or playoffs.

That’s 100 massive groups of people every week, sitting in one spot for several hours, all whom are on contract with a self-implied questionable service.

Congrats AT&T! A 0.02% success rate is really something to brag about!

AT&T Preps South Florida Wireless Network for Pro Bowl and Super Bowl

MIAMI, Jan 19, 2010 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ — Football players and fans aren’t the only ones gearing up for the Jan. 31 Pro Bowl and Feb. 7 Super Bowl XLIV in Miami. AT&T is gearing up its South Florida network to help ensure those in town for the games have a winning wireless experience. AT&T announced today it is expanding capacity and coverage in and around Dolphin Stadium and other key areas in anticipation of increased voice and data traffic on its wireless network.

Network preparations for the big games include:

Three mobile cell sites on wheels, or COW, in the stadium parking lot;

A new distributed antenna system, or DAS, inside the stadium;

Fourth additional layer of capacity added to AT&T cell site inside the stadium: 2G (GSM/Global System for Mobile Communications) voice and data capacity increased by 100 percent and high-speed 3G (UMTS/Universal Mobile Telecommunications System) voice and data capacity increased by 280 percent;

Capacity added to cell sites in the vicinity of the stadium;

Capacity added to cell sites serving hotels and resorts in Fort Lauderdale and South Beach where Super Bowl activities will be hosted;

A COW set up to serve Fort Lauderdale hotels where teams will be staying;

Capacity added to cell sites surrounding the facilities where the teams will be practicing; and

The addition of backhaul connectivity to cell sites surrounding the stadium to increase voice and data capacity between the sites and the routing switch.

“These are two of the biggest games of the year, and fans attending them want to be able to share the experience, as it’s happening, with those back home, whether its through a voice call, text message, e-mail or picture and video messaging,” said Rich Guidotti, vice president and general manager, AT&T Mobility & Consumer Markets for South Florida. “Our network team has been working for months to deliver the best possible wireless experience for the games and their related activities.”

AT&T network personnel will be on site for the games to monitor the network. Traffic on the stadium cell sites will be balanced as needed during the games in order to maximize the ability for customers to make calls and use data services.

In addition to the network upgrades for the Pro Bowl and Super Bowl, AT&T substantially increased capacity on its 3G network throughout South Florida in 2009 with the addition of a third layer of capacity, or “third carrier” to several hundred cell sites from Key West to Vero Beach. AT&T also activated 20 new cell sites, added 3G technology to dozens of existing cell sites, upgraded its UMTS/3G switching center, added 7 new Radio Network Controllers to significantly increase capacity and added more than 2,500 backhaul connections in 2009.

From 2007 through third quarter 2009, AT&T invested more than $134 million in its wireless network in Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach counties alone.

“We’ll continue to invest and innovate to strengthen our wireless network performance so that our customers can have the best experience with their AT&T devices,” said Marshall Criser, lll, AT&T president, Florida. “Our network investments and upgrades have made it possible for us to continue to deliver the nation’s fastest 3G network and national voice call retainability scores that are near best-in-class.”

AT&T’s 3G network is now available in more than 350 U.S. cities, including all major metropolitan areas.

AT&T recently completed a software upgrade at 3G cell sites nationwide that prepares the nation’s fastest 3G network for even faster speeds. The deployment of High-Speed Packet Access (HSPA) 7.2 technology is the first of multiple initiatives in AT&T’s network enhancement strategy designed to provide customers with the best possible mobile broadband experience, both today and well into the future. Faster 3G speeds will become available as AT&T combines the new technology with our second initiative during 2010 and 2011 to dramatically increase the number of high-speed backhaul connections to cell sites, primarily with fiber-optic connections, adding capacity from cell sites to the AT&T backbone network.

For more information about AT&T’s coverage in South Florida or anywhere in the United States, consumers can visit http://www.wireless.att.com/coverageviewer/. The online tool can measure the quality of coverage based on a street address, intersection, ZIP code or even a landmark.

For updates on the AT&T wireless network, please visit www.att.com/networknews.

*AT&T products and services are provided or offered by subsidiaries and affiliates of AT&T Inc. under the AT&T brand and not by AT&T Inc.

[Silicon Alley Insider and Research by David Chaid]

All of that Project Pink/Zune Phone rumor madness is back with one statement by Jefferies analyst Katherine Egbert:

“Our recent industry checks indicate Microsoft will be debuting its own phone sometime in the next two months…We expect the new phone to debut soon, at either the Feb 15-18 Mobile World Congress conference in Barcelona Spain, or possibly at CTIA in Las Vegas one month later.”

Egbert believes that the Zune Phone will be birthed from a Microsoft/OEM partnership similar to what we’ve seen between Google and HTC with the Nexus One. She also believes the phone will feature a 5MP camera and 720P video support—neither of which are huge stretches of the imagination. [AllThingsD]

Amidst my personal quest for a simple steam basket, I came across a serious steamer fit for any Giz reader, the Morphy Richards Intellisteam.

Yes, that’s a backlit blue LCD you see, allowing you to control three separate steaming pods, each with their own steam controls (loaded with plenty of presets that make steaming various different foods simple).

Aside from all that practicality, the Intellisteam sounds like it performs dutifully, with instant steam, a visible water gauge, auto-off when water runs out and up to 40 minutes of food warming.

Making a meal for up to 4 people, the Morphy Richards Intellisteam is available now for about $160. Oh kitchen gadgets, how I neither need nor resist you. [Morphy Richards via Appliancist]

Why are so many lovely ideas absolutely destroyed by greed?

Take Rethink’s extremely clever clothing hangers. They save manufacturing plastic by allowing you to beef up their structure by screwing in always-plentiful used water bottles—plus, these small hangers are portable to boot.

Simple, right? Kinda awkward in practice, sure, but A for eco-Utopian effort.

Each Rethink hanger costs $7.99.

10% goes to some sort of charity, but really, that donation is pretty much blood money. $7.99. For more plastic. Even from a small manufacturer, that pricing is ludicrous. [Rethink via stilsucht via OhGizmo!]