Author: Meg Marco

Reuters is reporting that JP Morgan Chase’s CEO for their home mortgage business hightailed it out of a congressional hearing after telling borrowers they could come to him with their mortgage problems. Too bad there were some in the audience! Whoops!

Lawmakers asked David Lowman who borrowers could turn to if they felt his bank’s employees were not helping them keep their homes.

“Come to me,” he replied to Barney Frank (D-Mass.)

A few minutes later Reuters says 50 borrowers burst from the audience with papers alleging that the bank “reneged on a pledge to help struggling homeowners”

“He ran. He ran like a dog with its tail between his legs,” said Bruce Marks of the Neighborhood Assistance Corporation of America (NACA), which helps homeowners avoid foreclosure. “He was scared to death because he doesn’t really want to talk to homeowners.”

Hey maybe that’s why they call it Chase. (Ok, no, it’s for Salmon P. Chase. There, you learned something because I had to make a terrible joke.)

U.S. bank chief mobbed by angry borrowers [Reuters]

If you want to make lots of money selling “Big Ben’s Beef Jerky” you’re going to have to behave like a gentleman, Mr. Roethlisberger. Today the owner of Pittsburgh-based PLB Sports, Inc., said he was terminating his five-year business relationship with the Steelers’ QB.

The decision comes as the quarterback is meeting with the commissioner of the NFL to discuss a possible suspension after a Georgia district attorney announced that they would drop sexual assault charges.

“We’ve made a lot of money together,” the company owner said in a telephone interview with the NYT. “I’m leaving a lot on the table by terminating this contract. Even though there were no criminal charges, there are just enough issues here that it’s in the best interests of PLB Sports to break ties.”

“I can’t imagine anyone touching Ben Roethlisberger,” he continued. “Enough is enough. I hope there is a suspension. At some point in time, Ben has got to put himself in the right position and understand what it means to be a celebrity, a quarterback, a Steelers player.”

Meanwhile, Terry Bradshaw just put a nail in the PR coffin by announcing that he is learning not to like Big Ben.

“Our relationship is not any good,” Bradshaw told reporters, according to a video linked from www.ktbs.com . “When I told him to park the motorcycle, he got pissed. Then he had the accident, and since then he doesn’t like me, and I’m learning not to like him.”

Then later to FoxSports:

“Ben has been unhappy with me ever since I told him to park the bike. Then, when he had the accident, everyone told him that, ‘See, Terry was right about that motorcycle.’ He doesn’t like me. The last time I was around him he wouldn’t even shake my hand.”

Anyway we can’t wait for the next creepy Nike commercial. Maybe Bradshaw can do the voice-over. What did you learn, Ben?

Bradshaw on Big Ben: “I’m learning not to like him” [Fox Sports]
Ben Roethlisberger, ‘You Can Do Better,’ District Attorney Says [ABC]
Pittsburgh Company Cuts Ties with Roethlisberger [NYT]

The ever-popular EECB (Executive Email Carpet Bomb) scored another direct hit with reader “Generic_Username.” He and his wife bought some closet doors from IKEA, but didn’t install them until some renovations were complete. When it turned out the doors were defective, G.U. and his wife were told they’d have to pay to have new doors shipped to their house. Ugh!

Luckily for G.U., we had a successful complaint letter to IKEA already posted that he could use as a template.

Here’s his story:

I ran into an issue with a set of Lyngdal sliding glass doors that my wife and I purchased at IKEA in November of 2009. Long story short- the doors were drilled wrong and didn’t line up properly on the track, clearly a defective product. When calling customer service multiple times and a trip to the store were fruitless I decided to write an EECB using the IKEA letter that reader Inderjit wrote as a template (http://con.st/288370). I received a phone call within 24 hours and my new doors are being delivered free of charge today!

Thanks!

-Consumerist reader “Generic_Username”

Below is the EECB I sent on 4/11/10 (you’ll notice some similarities with the Inderjit EECB):

Dear IKEA:

Please let me preface this letter by saying that I am normally a very understanding shopper. I’ve spent a number of years working in retail in various management capacities and know the difficulties associated with day-to-day operations. That said, I have no choice but to send this letter to you.

On November 30, 2009 my wife and I bought a number of items from your South Philadelphia, PA store. Among those items were two sets of Lyngdal sliding glass doors (78 3/4″ x 92 7/8″) for the brand new IKEA PAX closet system we purchased. We set up delivery at the store for the following day (12/1/2009). We were in the process of remodeling our first house and were not living there when the delivery was made. Consequently, we did not open, build, and install the doors until roughly a month and a half later when we moved in. The first set of doors installed without a problem and worked perfectly. The second set, however, had a problem. The holes drilled in the doorframe were apparently not even, and as a result the doors sat crooked on the track and didn’t close completely. This in turn made it impossible to open the drawers since they just bump into the edge of the sliding doors.

My wife and I are newlyweds- we were married on xxxxxxx (in fact, the vases used to line the aisle at our wedding were from IKEA). As I mentioned previously, we also just bought and renovated our first house. As you can imagine, this has been a busy time for us. We stopped in the Conshohocken, PA store this afternoon to pick up some furniture and decided to ask customer service what we should do about the doors. We were told we’d need to call the store where we made the purchase, give them the necessary purchase information, and they could arrange to have replacement doors delivered. It turns out that IKEA is aware of this issue, and I’ve found a number of accounts online describing the same issue.

When we arrived home I called the South Philadelphia store as instructed and was told that because we had exceeded the 90 days for exchanges and returns we needed to bring the original receipt to the store and speak with someone there. We don’t have the receipt, most of our things are still in boxes, but the store was able to pull up the transaction information and verify that we did indeed make the purchase we were speaking about.

I asked to speak to a supervisor and was forwarded to Terrell, who told me that IKEA is responsible for the items, not the delivery, and I’d have to bring the doors to the store and figure out a way to get them home. I told him that if I could do that I would not have paid $75 for home delivery of these products. I further explained to Terrell that I paid for functional products, and IKEA should be responsible for getting me these items.

As it stands, if I want to get working doors I need to somehow get the doors to the store, then pay to have them redelivered (all provided I can locate the original receipt). This isn’t right. My wife and I have spent more than $10,000 at IKEA over the years. We have never regretted a purchase until now. While this is not a large amount of money to IKEA, it is to us. We have come to expect a certain level of professionalism, quality, and willingness by IKEA to stand by its products.

We are not asking for a lot. We are asking for a set of working Lyngdal doors delivered to my home so I can give my wife a functional closet system. I do not want to pay for delivery, I already did that once. I’d like a call by Tuesday, April 13, 2010, and I expect that in light of our years of loyal patronage you will agree with my request. I am happy to provide details of the transaction including transaction number, date of purchase, and card type if requested.

Please make this right.

Calm polite emails are never a bad idea. Way to go, Generic_Username!

The EECB is remarkably simple to construct and launch. Directions can be found in our handy guide, How To Launch An Executive Email Carpet Bomb.

Gorilla Coffee, in Brooklyn, is a well-known local favorite but apparently it’s a lot more fun to drink the coffee than it is to work there. It’s so unpleasant, in fact, that even considering the current economic climate, the entire staff simultaneously quit — forcing the coffee shop to close. The staff sent out an email to the media claiming that it’s not a strike — the “staff quit and the matter will not be resolved.”

At issue was a work environment described by the staff as “perpetually malicious, hostile, and demeaning.”

The NYT got a hold of the owners– who say the mass quitting was unexpected.

“It’s a complete surprise,” Darleen Scherer, one of the owners, said over the phone. “They made an unreasonable request, and then they didn’t have any way to go but out.”

That request was apparently tied to another co-owner who is responsible for training employees. The staff was apparently no longer willing to work with her.

“The training to be a barista is rigorous,” one of the owners told the NYT, “and she’s like a drill sergeant. She trains somebody and they become good, and then they become great, and then they become excellent. I don’t understand the perceived hostility. Everybody has a different learning curve and she respects that.”

Here’s the staff e-mail:

We the workers would have preferred to keep this between the people involved, thus our silence towards the press. However, we do feel it is important to clarify the situation for the friends and patrons of Gorilla Coffee. The issues brought up with the owners of Gorilla Coffee yesterday are issues that they have been aware of for some time. These issues which have repeatedly been brushed aside and ignored have created a perpetually malicious, hostile, and demeaning work environment that was not only unhealthy, but also, as our actions have clearly shown, unworkable.

Several staff left not only recently, but also in the past few years due to these issues. The staff was recently told that the business partner to whom these issues have been repeatedly attributed was no longer affiliated with the business, and the environment was going to change. For 6 weeks nothing was seen nor heard of this business partner. This separation changed the dynamic of the business so drastically one of the departed staff quit their other job to return with the understanding these changes were permanent, and those who had tendered their resignation, or were drafting it, decided to stay. When the business partner returned without explanation, staff approached the owner hoping to find out the reason for this sudden and unannounced return. Work environment and workplace issues aside, the workers collectively felt deceived and that they had been shown a lack of mutual respect. This only served to highlight and reemphasize the previously expressed concerns. As the staff was well aware, both through experience and through conversation with past employees, Gorilla Coffee has a history of this pattern repeating itself.

It should be emphasized that the intent of the meeting was above all to find a solution to this unhealthy situation, a solution which involved the maintenance of these improvements to the work environment, and that would prevent any future returns to the previous unhealthy dynamic. Above all the attitude of the staff involved in the meeting (who were representing the rest of the staff) was one of respect and positivity. A collective instant resignation was an agreed upon last resort and not a bargaining chip. It was simply that without change, we all felt unwilling to undergo another day in that environment. Hence, out of a collective feeling of self respect and job insecurity, the staff decided it would be in their best interest to find employment elsewhere.

This isn’t political and it isn’t a strike. The staff quit and the matter will not be resolved. It’s a matter of business, and a personal matter for each of the staff. Everyone at Gorilla Coffee, including the owners and the staff, are skilled, passionate, and hard working. It is unfortunate for everyone involved. The workers are grateful to the many wonderful patrons over the years, and we apologize that it was necessary to inconvenience them in this way. All we can say is “thank you for the support and all the best.”

Sincerely,
The workers of Gorilla Coffee

Gorilla Coffee Workers Aren’t Coming Back [NYT]

The Baltimore Sun is reporting that a local coffee shop called Spro is offering a $13 cup of coffee. And yes, it’s just a cup of coffee.

“It’s really a fantastic kind of coffee,” Spro owner Jay Caragay told the Baltimore Sun. “It’s very juicy, fruity, good mouth feel, medium bodied.”

The coffee beans come from El Salvador and are apparently some seriously fancy sh*t. CNN says once it’s brewed it’s worth about $1 an ounce. To whom, we are not certain.

The $13 cup of joe [Baltimore Sun via CNN]

The California HealthCare Foundation recently released the results of a survey on electronic medical records and consumer behavior. The survey found that 15% of people would hide things from their doctor if the medical record system shared anonymous data with other organizations. Another 33% weren’t sure, but would consider hiding something.

Here’s the question:
If your doctor had an electronic medical record system that could share your health information with other organizations (but not your name, date of birth, address of Social Security Number) would there any anything you would not tell your doctor?

We’re going to make our poll a little different.

nkNew National Survey Finds Personal Health Records Motivate Consumers to Improve Their Health [CHCF via WSJ Health Blog]

Our little buddies at Consumer Reports have determined that a safety risk may be present in the 2010 Lexus GX 460 SUV. When pushed to its limits on CR’s track, the rear of the GX they bought “slid out until the vehicle was almost sideways before the electronic stability control system was able to regain control.”

CR says they do this test on all SUVs and of the 95 they’ve tested in the current ratings only this Lexus performed badly enough to warrant the dreaded “Don’t Buy.”

Check out this video for slow motion footage of the test. Looks kinda fun, but you wouldn’t want to try it inadvertently on a exit ramp, right?

Don’t Buy: Safety Risk–2010 Lexus GX 460 [CR]

A new study of brand recognition in kids shows that even kids who can’t read can recognize corporate logos like Disney, McDonald’s and randomly… Toyota.

From ABCNews:

The study, which involved 38 Australian preschool children ages 3 to nearly 5 years old, found that while the children were not yet able to read, they often knew exactly which logo corresponded with which brand. Certain logos — including those for fast food chains (McDonald’s), entertainment companies (Disney, the parent company of ABC News, and Warner Brothers) and cars (Toyota) — proved especially recognizable. Others, including those for clothing (Nike) and personal care (Kleenex), fared considerably worse. (No children in the study recognized the Kleenex logo. Kleenex spokesman Joey Mooring said he was unfamiliar with the study but added that Kleenex’s “primary consumer demographic” is “moms.”)

The researchers were especially surprised to find children identifying brands whose marketing doesn’t appear to target kids, including Toyota, which was recognized by 80 percent of the study’s participants, and Shell, which was recognized by nearly 53 percent.

McAlister had a couple of theories to explain why brands like Shell and Toyota get kids’ attention. For the former, children might associate trips to the gas station with stops for treats at a gas station convenience store, she said. For the latter, children may recognize car brands because they’ve learned to distinguish between their parents’ cars and those of others.

Personally, I had a lot of toy cars when I was just a wee little thing, so I knew car brands.

What brands did you know/like when you were a kid?

What Kids Know: McDonald’s, Toyota, Disney [ABC News]

Well folks, it’s the battle of the recent investigations! We took a look at Best Buy’s Geek Squad Optimization service and found that it was a big stupid annoying waste of money — and Cash4Gold… well….take a look for yourself.

Tell us, which company causes you to have the bigger meltdown?

This is a post in our Worst Company In America 2010 series. The companies competing for this honor were chosen by you, the readers. Keep track of all the goings on at consumerist.com/tag/worst-company-in-america. Print the bracket, here.

A family that adopted a Russian child with severe emotional problems decided to simply put him on a plane back to Russia with a note for the child protection ministry. He showed up unannounced with a paid escort, provoking an “international incident.”

It seems the whole thing boils down to some questionable advice from a lawyer the adoptive parent found online, says CNN:

… the Tennessee woman who put Justin Hansen on the plane in Washington, insisted she did not abandon the child, but was following instructions from a lawyer she found online.

Hansen told CNN that she was concerned about her family’s safety after a series of violent incidents and threats.

“I still have energy and I love children,” Hansen said. “It wasn’t that he was just energetic and wearing us down. It was the violent tendencies and he had to be watched at all time.”

Once the child learned enough English to communicate he described horrific abuse, and said he was responsible for burning down buildings back in Russia. The woman says the boy threatened to kill the family. The final straw came when the woman says she found the boy trying to light a fire in his room.

When the lawyer she found online advised her the adoption could be reversed, Hansen booked the flight and paid the fee for a steward to escort Justin through the airport, she said.

She hired a driver in Moscow she found online to pick the child up from the Moscow airport, she said. She found “safe references” for the driver online, she said.

She then prepared a letter for Justin to present to Russian officials, which included a photo of the driver, whom she identified as “Arthur,” she said.

Justin “had never been happier” than when he boarded the plane for Moscow, she said.

Russian child protection officials were not happy when the child arrived unannounced at their ministry Wednesday.

Grandmother: Adopted boy sent back to Russia was violent [CNN]

Hey world: Don’t leave yourself logged in to a display product at Best Buy! One Consumerist reader found someone logged in to a display iPad at Best Buy and emailed them and us from the logged in account.

Reader R says:

Dear Consumerist:

You should have receive an email from [redacted] about not logging out of mail account on display product at Best Buy.

I was the person that sent it to him and you. Just wanted to validate that email for you. I also didn’t want any of my personal info sent through that email.

I really couldn’t believe someone did that.

Sure enough, here’s the email:

To whom it may concern:

You decided to try out an iPad at your local best buy. But guess what? You logged into the mail app on a publicly used test product and didn’t log out?!?!?!?

This time a good citizen has decided to alert you of your mistake. I will also be kind and log you out Be aware and use some common sense the next time.

Sent from your own email,
A good Samaritan.

Sent from my iPad

Ouch!

We expected this to be a lawsuit story, but its more like a marketing story. The Dallas, TX based sandwich chain “Which Wich” is naming a sandwich after Mr. Chad Ettmueller, a customer who experienced lockjaw after trying to take a bite of a really big sandwich called a “Wicked.”

Our favorite part of the story is that his jaw locked on the first bite, so he went to the hospital and while they were taking care of him, his best friend went into his wife’s van, found the sandwich and ate it. That guy is awesome.

YouTube with reenactment:

Let’s play Count von Count, shall we? One… two… three fingers…four..five…six… wait.

Domino’s ‘American Idol’ Box Features 6-Fingered Singer [Serious Eats via BuzzFeed]

A perfect credit score of 850 is technically possible, according to FICO spokesperson, Craig Watts but may not be possible for anyone.

Marketplace took a look at this issue last year and got the definitive answer from FICO.

Craig Watts: In rare circumstances it is possible to get a FICO score of 850.

That’s the good news. Here’s the bad:

Watts: For a broad section of the population, it probably isn’t possible, even if they do everything right.

That’s because there’s not one formula for calculating your FICO score. There are ten. Each is a “scorecard,” that gives different items in your credit history slightly different weight. Your scorecard depends on where you are in your economic life.

Watts: For example, if you are college student, you’re brand new to credit. The FICO formula is only comparing you to other people who also have very short credit histories.

There’s a scorecard for people who’ve been through, say, bankruptcy — they may be printing extras of those these days. But here’s the point: every scorecard has its own score range. If your scorecard’s top range isn’t 850? You can’t get an 850, period. Now, what scorecard applies to you, or when you’ll move out of one and into another? That’s a secret. All Watts would tell me is how to get the best score possible.

Watts: Pay everybody on time, keep your account balances low on credit cards, take on new credit obligations sparingly, and then continue managing credit for a long time. Typically people who score in the mid-800s have been managing credit for at least a couple of decades.

Gagliano: So, be a financial rock star, and become old.

Watts: Yeah, be the Mick Jagger of the credit world!

But does a perfect score even matter? Looks like… not really. If you’re over 800, you’re probably getting the best possible deals.

Mint.com has an exhaustive article about perfecting your credit to achieve the highest possible “elite” score: anything over 800.

According to the article, once you achieve the 800s, a world of low interest rate mortgages and whatnot opens up before you. The good news? Even if you didn’t always have perfect credit, if you change your behavior your score will change too. So why not start now?

Can You Increase Your Credit Score to 850? [Mint]
In search of the perfect score [Marketplace]

This story has a happy ending, but its still somewhat baffling. Reader S. recently flew JetBlue with his wife and three small children. They had 4 tickets and 3 bags to check. JetBlue allows one checked bag per ticket. So, there should be no fees, right? Here’s where it gets complicated: S’s wife went through security with the children while he checked the bags. The agent said that despite the fact that he was traveling in a party of 4, the baggage agent had to personally see the family, toddler and all, or S. had to pay $105 in extra fees.

Here’s his story:

I recently had an odd problem flying JetBlue out of Boston and a complaint letter got the $105 fee refunded. In summary, I was flying to Florida with my wife and two small children. Between us we had 3 checked bags. I went to the bag dropoff to check the bags while my wife took the kids. I was hoping to avoid 2 cranky children at 6am in an airport.

However after getting to the bag drop the JetBlue agent stated the TSA requires everyone checking a bag to be physically present. So they needed to see my 2 yr old and presumably ask her if she was carrying any explosives. My other option was to state that I packed all 3 bags (which I actually did) and to charge my ticket for all 3 bags at a cost of an extra $105 bucks.

I was irritated that they were still charging me the a 2nd and 3rd checked bag fee but my party of 4 only had 3 bags. I sent letter to their customer service did get them to refund the fee but this may be a nice warning to others.

Letter sent to JetBlue Customer Service:

On my flight to Orlando I was traveling with my wife and two small children. We obtained our boarding passes online the day prior to our trip.

Our family was checking 3 bags one for the adults and each child had their own suitcase.

Upon arrival there was very long line at the bag drop and a decent line at the security checkpoint. So as not to have two cranky children at 6AM I sent my my wife/kids through the long security line and I would take the bags to the bag drop station.

When I finally got to the counter I was informed that this was not allowed. The person who owned the bag had to be present when dropping the bags off.

Personally it seems a little silly that the TSA cares about seeing a 2 yr old present but that is another issue. Since I was the only person present the Jetblue agent allowed me to check all 3 bags under my name.

Since I packed all 3 bags this wasn’t an invalid statement. However the agent required a $105 dollar fee for the 2nd and 3rd checked bag. As my family was already on the other side of security, and it is illegal to leave unattended baggage at the airport, I had no way of calling back my children to see your agent.

Now I am not asking you to try to change/circumvent the official TSA policy, however I think charging the 2nd and 3rd checked bag fee for a party of 4 that is only traveling with 3 bags is unwarranted. However the additional baggage fees are something that JetBlue can control. Certainly It may have been my mistake but I am disappointed that there was no way offered to correct the mistake. I would kindly request that these fees be refunded if possible.

Coincidentally our return trip from Orlando was also booked through JetBlue. On this trip we stayed at a Disney resort. You have arrangements with Disney to allow us to check into the flight while we are still at the hotel and check our bags there. The check-in agent there specifically stated that only one member of each party had to be present to check the bags for the flight. I had no problem checking all 4 bags for our return flight without incurring any additional fees.

S. included JetBlue’s response, which was an email announcing a full refund. Something to watch out for if you’re traveling with kids.

Thank you for contacting JetBlue Airways regarding your travel between Boston and Orlando.

We have extended the courtesy of refunding the $105 that was paid for additional baggage, to your credit card. Please allow the processing time required by your credit card company for the funds to appear available.

Thank you for your support of JetBlue. We wish you and your family our very best.

Sincerely,

Michael
Customer Commitment Crew
JetBlue Airways

SFWeekly has declared this book, Microwaving Cooking For One, by Marie T. Smith, to be the saddest cookbook ever written.

We have to agree, which is why we’re glad Stouffers is putting suicide prevention tips on their packages. (Not really, it’s from the The Onion. We wish it was true, however.)

Pic of the Day: Saddest Cookbook Ever [SFWeekly]

Reader Danielle has written in absolutely shocked that a basic return/exchange went smoothly. We think this says a lot about the state of things.

Danielle writes:

I am usually quite skeptical about ordering clothing online; I’m always worried about sizes and fit being wrong… I recently bought my boyfriend a pair of jeans on Amazon.com and of course, they were the wrong size. I thought that returning them would be a pain, but the Amazon.com process was simple; the receipt in the box the jeans came in included a link to return information. I printed out a scannable code, re-packaged the jeans and a UPS person was at my door to pick it up at 10AM the next day. Simple and easy.

However, I was worried once again when a mysterious $80.00 “Amazon Prime” purchase showed up on my Credit Card… turns out I had at one point signed up for a trial of a 2-day delivery service (“Amazon Prime”), and didn’t know that if I did not cancel my membership before the trial was over, they would automatically enroll me in the program and charge my card. I was so frustrated that I hadn’t seen that in the fine print, and upset that I had no notification of signing up. I e-mailed Amazon.com and explained my frustration and what was going on. They e-mailed me back within FIVE minutes, apologized for not being clear in how Amazon Prime works, and explained that a full refund would be issued to me within 2-3 business days. I was totally surprised with how well they treated me.

An actual PERSON e-mailed me, it was not automated, and they made sure that I was completely taken care of, even though it was my mistake. I will definitely be telling everyone to purchase from Amazon.com because of their exemplary customer service. Bravo, Amazon.com!

Mission accomplished, Danielle.

Riddle me this, Batman. How many Comcast cable techs does it take to install a TiVo? We’d love to give you an answer, but we can’t because reader Lynn still hasn’t got a working TiVo after 3 appointments. Whoooops.

Here’s Lynn’s story. She cc’d us on an email to Comcast’s executive service team:

On Saturday, 4/3, I attempted to get a cable card from Comcast in order to run my new Tivo Premiere. I have so far had three appointments that have been unsuccessful in one way or another.

The installer showed up for the appointment around 10:30 on 4/3. I let him into the building and into my apartment. I had the Tivo hooked up to the TV but sitting on my coffee table for easy access. I said that I had already chosen settings and hooked up my Netflix, so it was ready to go and showed him the slot for the Multi Stream cable card.

He looked at me, dumbfounded. He asked, “What am I supposed to be installing?”

I reiterated that it was a cable card for a Tivo, the thing that gives Tivo its channels. He told me he had never installed a cable card before and did not have one with him.

I’m not sure why he was so proud of his ignorance, but he mentioned several times that he had no experience with cable cards. It was also clear that he hadn’t made even a cursory glance at the work order or he would have known what to bring.

Standing in my apartment for another 10-15 minutes, he called a dispatcher and located cards at the North Ave. location, and he then said he would go get one.

An hour and half later, he returned (by the way, North Ave. is about four miles away, no clue why it would take 90 minutes) with a cable card that seemed correct. It said M (for Multi) on it and it fit in the slot.

He called Comcast and relayed some numbers from the card to them. Then I flipped back to the Tivo and attempted to load channels. It searched for a while, then gave an error message saying to check the cable connection. It did this about three times while the installer was still in my apartment. But his dispatch told him that the Tivo just needed time to load these channels and that he should leave.

I reluctantly signed the work order despite not having channels when he left. Since the card is supposed to deliver all of my channels, he also took the cable box I was formerly using.

An hour later, I called Comcast because I was sure that the installation had been unsuccessful. No channels had loaded and I was getting the same error message. They attempted to send signals to the card to no end result. It became clear that another card would need to be tried.

They first offered to send the same installer back, but I asked for someone different in the hopes that the new installer might have some idea what they were doing. The reps at Comcast told me they would work on finding someone to come out later the same day (still 4/3).

A rep at Comcast called me around 3:30 and told me an installer had been found and he would be out shortly. Nothing happened for a while. I called Comcast at 5:30 and they confirmed that someone was on his way, after his other appointments.

Again, nothing happened for a while. I called Comcast again at 7:30, and in that interaction, I was told that there was no sign of a second appointment ever being made. In fact, their records showed that the first appointment was successful. It should be noted that during all of this, I was stuck at home waiting since I live alone. I couldn’t even shower for fear that I would miss someone arriving. For nine hours.

While on the call with Comcast, I got another call (presumably this was directly from the local installers, acting independently of the Comcast office). I spoke to Junior. He told me that they were out of cards and installation times for the day, but we would make a new appointment.

They said that they really wanted me to get my card as soon as possible, but then proceeded to offer me a weekday, daytime appointment. I work and attend school, so that was not an option. We ultimately agreed on four days later, Wednesday at 6pm, after work on a day that I don’t have school.

Yesterday, Wednesday (4/7), I rushed home from work and was in my apartment by about 5:50. I waited for my phone to ring. At 6:05, I decided to call Junior’s direct line (the one he called me with on Saturday) and check on the status of the appointment. He told me that he regretted to inform me that they were out of working M cable cards and would not be installing one for me tonight. How they could be out of cards when we had this appointment scheduled since Saturday, I don’t know. How I was supposed to figure out the appointment was canceled without any notification, I don’t know.

I am traveling out of state this weekend. Perhaps I shouldn’t have planned a trip only one week after my installation appointment, but I actually thought Comcast might be able to do this correctly, since it is literally just putting a card into a Tivo and activating it.

I guess I thought that Comcast would have known, like the rest of the planet (or at least those in the cable television industry) that Tivo was coming out with a new box and to make sure they had cable card inventory and that said inventory was compatible.

I guess that was overly optimistic and asking too much of Comcast. So now, I have yet another rescheduled appointment after my trip, on Monday, 4/12 at 6pm. Junior assured me that there would be working M cable cards to install. It remains to be seen whether the appointment will happen, whether anyone will contact me if it doesn’t, and whether cable will finally be reinstated in my apartment.

To summarize, my complaints are as follows:
· The first installer was incompetent, slow, and unhelpful, leaving without correctly installing the card.

· The Comcast office was, as usual, terrible in its customer service and communication. Both with me and with other branches of Comcast.

· The second installation appointment was lost and no one showed up.

· The third group of installers canceled my appointment without telling me.

· I still have no cable! Right now I’m paying for cable and Tivo service, which I can’t use because I have no channels to record.

Lynn sent her EECB (Executive Email Carpet Bomb) to the team at [email protected] (along with everyone else at Comcast,) so maybe between the 50 or so names on the email someone at the company can locate a working cable card in Chicago.

Have you been having similar problems getting your new TiVo Premiere to work with your cable company? Tell us about it.

In what is clearly an attempt to make it easier for us to think of stuff to write about for the Worst Company In America contest, the two remaining airlines, United and US Airways, have begun merger talks.

There is some speculation that United is just toying with US Airways in an attempt to make its real love, Continental, jealous.

“United has been standing at the altar waiting for the bride to show up and just got tired of waiting,” Mo Garfinkle, a longtime airline industry consultant, told the New York Times. “Maybe by flirting with another girl, it can get Continental’s attention again.”

A merger between US Airways and United Airlines, besides sucking for the obvious reasons, doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, says the NYT. The combined airlines would have too many hubs, and are not a natural fit.

Analysts would be much happier with a merger between United and Continental. We plan to ask a Continental customer for their thoughts as soon as we can find one who isn’t screaming.

The NYT says:

United and US Airways have come close to merging several times over the last decade. In 2000, they announced a $4.3 billion deal, only to withdraw after antitrust concerns from the Justice Department and fierce opposition from their unions. They tried again in 2008 but ended talks after several months of negotiations, that time in the face of opposition from United’s board as well as the pilots’ union.

We thought about contacting US Airways for comment, but there is probably a fee for that, and we’re cheap and brought our own comment from home to eat later.

United Is in Talks About a Merger With US Airways [NYT]

Sneaking a smoke in an airplane bathroom is not a good idea these days. You may accidentally set off a Jerry Bruckeimer movie. Much like the recent incident where a drunk guy started yelling about jihad on a cruise ship accidentally activating a full on action movie, today we bring you the story of a Qatari diplomat whose secret cigarette on a United Airlines flight from Washington to Denver caused fighter jets to be scrambled.

According to law enforcement agents who spoke to the AP on the condition of anonymity, no explosives were found on the man and they do not believe he intended to harm anyone.

Apparently the man had been smoking in the bathroom when he was asked about the smokey smell. He jokingly replied that he was lighting his shoes on fire. This was not a good idea.

AP’s sources say the man was taken into custody by air marshals and the plane landed safely after fighters jets were scrambled.

[A passenger] told the Associated Press she smelled smoke about an hour into the flight. She said she later looked out the window and saw two jets flying alongside the plane.

“I’m in the sky a lot, and I was thinking that might not be so normal,” she said.

She was angry about being held against her will to be questioned over something so minor.

“He went quietly. There was not a scene,” Turcotte said. “They made this into something that was ridiculous.”

Ridiculous, but action-packed!

AP Source: Man on Flight Trying to Sneak Smoke [ABCNews]