Author: Message from Montie

Thirty’s the new twenty, but are grooms’ last names the new brides’ last names too?

 There’s a rumor going around that Jay-Z may be taking Beyonce’s last name. Why? According to a BET blog, the British tabloid The Daily Star says that Jay-Z and Beyonce will take each other’s names–Shawn Knowles-Carter and Beyonce Knowles-Carter to keep the Knowles name alive. I don’t recall ever in my life picking up a tabloid, but I’m going to humor this one just so I can ask questions about marriages and last names.

 

If the purpose of keeping the last name Knowles alive is the issue, wouldn’t it make more sense to ask a blood relative who is not married–Solange Knowles–to give her son the Knowles last name as opposed to a non-blood relative who may want to carry on his own last name? Solange’s son’s name is Daniel Julez J. Smith. According to Essence Magazine, she’s not even married to Daniel Smith anymore. Outside of chivalrous reasons, I don’t know what the rules are on a child taking the father’s last name if they never get married or are no longer married. I can’t see making Solange give up her son’s last name now, but I wonder was the last name up for discussion during the pregnancy stage?

 

If Tina Knowles and Mathew Knowles are really getting a divorce due to adultery, according to US Magazine, why would they even want the name Knowles to live on? And what is the obsession with letting names live on? According to Toure.com, the name Beyonce was originally a last name, but since only one of Beyonce’s mother’s, Tina, brothers had a son she decided to name her daughter Beyonce to let the last name live on. But this time it would be the future R&B superstar’s first name.

 

Now while I do understand why someone may be interested in letting their last names live on, besides the fact that there really was a blood relative who could’ve taken the Knowles name–or at least wait until Jay-Z and Beyonce have a child–what makes everybody not want to let the last name Carter live on?

 

I know we’ve gotten to a point in society where taking the guy’s last name is a little old-fashioned. My own mother dropped her birth middle name and made her maiden name her new middle name, then took my father’s last name. It was a way to keep both. But the guy taking the wife’s last name? Call me old school, but I just don’t see why he should give up his last name. For the devil’s advocates out there, I’m sure you’re going to ask, “Why should the woman give up her last name?” This is true. Why should she? Why can’t they both just keep their own names and call it a day?

 

Speaking for myself, I’d be very frustrated to marry a guy with a multi-syllabic last name. My first name is already four syllables. I don’t need my last name being long too! Vaughn, I love. But Shamontiel Supercalifragilistic is a name I just don’t need.

 

So how do you feel about last names? Should the woman take the man’s last name? Should the man be open to taking the woman’s last name? Or, should they both keep their own last names and leave well enough alone?

Chris Henry #15 of the Cincinnati Bengals watches the second half of play from the side lines after breaking his arm in the first half against the Baltimore Ravens in their NFL game at Paul Brown Stadium November 8, 2009 in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by John Sommers II/Getty Images, photo from ChicagoTribune.com)

The only sports I play well are volleyball, swimming and I’m all right on the pool table and the baseball field. I don’t memorize statistics, don’t follow sports news and usually if I recognize an athlete it’s because I think he’s cute. So my interest in the Chris Henry case came as a surprise to myself. His funeral was today, and his fiancée spoke about how “can’t nobody feel what I’m feeling now.” This is true, considering his wife, Loleini Tonga, was at the scene of the “accident.” But what I can say I feel is confusion and curiosity.

 

For the life of me, I cannot understand why someone would be so frustrated with a situation that he’d jump off of a moving pick-up truck knowing full well that he would not have the help of one arm, which was in a cast.

 

Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry, 26, died on Thursday, Dec. 17, at 6:36 a.m., in Charlotte, North Carolina after suffering head injuries in a Wednesday accident. But depending on what news report you read, his “falling” off the pick-up truck may have been him jumping off.

 

According to the Associated Press, Chris Henry and his fiancée, Loleini Tonga, got into an argument, she left the house, got into a pick-up truck and he jumped on the back. A witness said he was shirtless, wearing a cast, “beating on the back of his truck window” and saying “If you take off, I’m going to jump off the truck and kill myself.”

 

AP reported that Tonga did stop to help him when he fell about a half-mile from home. But what strikes me strange is why someone would drive a pick-up truck knowing that someone is beating against the back window to get her attention. Initially I wondered if she was scared for her life and just wanted to get away.

 

Chris Henry has definitely had some dark moments in his past–five NFL suspensions for weapons and drug charges. But judging from a USA Today article, it looks like Chris Henry was turning his life around.

 

TMZ reported that in a Tuesday, Dec. 15, meeting with a wedding planning company, Chris Henry was frustrated by the price of a photography package and asked Loleini, “How much we paying for all this?” He left “with an attitude,” and she dealt with the paperwork. Then an argument the next day and now he’s dead.

 

I am hoping that the dispute that led to the pick-up truck accident wasn’t about this photography package or money. It’d be really unfortunate if the reason he died was about the wedding all while Tonga is saying at the funeral, “We loved each other very much. We were supposed to get married in three months, but I’m going to wait until I see him again.”

Will Smith, known for million-dollar movies like “Independence Day,” “Hitch,” “Bad Boys 1-2” and “I Am Legend” and “I, Robot” was nervous. Who would think that the star of the ’90s TV sitcom “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” could be nervous in front of a camera? But he was nervous last week during a meeting, even with his wife at his side. Why? Because he was interviewing President Barack H. Obama.

Will Smith stated, “This is the first time I’ve been nervous in front of a camera in a long time.”

Obama’s response? “Just think back to Prince of Bel-Air, man.”

Jada Pinkett-Smith, most popularly known as Lena James from “A Different World,” the voice of the hippopotamus on “Madagascar” and the star of the show “HawthoRNe,” seemed at ease. Check out the Smiths’ interview with Obama on a Nobel Peace Prize speech comment “expanding our moral imagination,” Internet communication, putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and First Lady Michelle Obama.

 

 

Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain looks at Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama as he answers a question during the Town Hall Presidential Debate at Belmont University’s Curb Event Center, in Nashville, Tenn. (AP photo by Gerald Herbert / October 7, 2008, photo from ChicagoTribune.com)

Within the last year, I’ve had some very heated discussions about politics with people who don’t vote, and one of them happened today with a Twitter user who solely tweets about politics. I asked him three times whether he voted in the last election after a tweet he made about health care reform and corrupt politicians, and he ignored my question. Finally after the third time asking, this Twitter user’s response was the following:

 

“Whether you’re an independent, Dem, Repub, it doesn’t matter. You’re [sic] vote doesn’t matter. Voting is a trick.”

 

Now the average person is going to assume that if someone is this pessimistic about the voting process, not just the electoral college, that they didn’t vote. Last week, I talked with a guy who’d sent a Facebook add to me about why it is he “doesn’t appreciate his ancestors.” He basically told me that anything that doesn’t effect him directly isn’t something he can appreciate and that was why he never cared about voting or history. So not only did he throw all politicians under the bus but slaves too. I didn’t think any conversation could top that one.

 

Earlier this year, an author I met told me that Pres. Obama was just a puppet for the Republicans and they secretly wanted him to be elected for their own personal agenda. Well, this assumption could’ve fooled me because Pres. Obama is doing a fine job of pissing off Republicans. If he’s a puppet, he should win a Grammy on top of that Nobel Peace Prize for faking us out. But neither of these guys were well-versed on political issues, so I shrugged and left it alone. But this Twitter user actually does have intelligent points about health care reform, so I was even more disappointed to find out his pessimistic views on voting. I was hoping to not make this third conversation yet another one with someone who doesn’t vote but has a world of opinions about what politicians need to do.

 

So when I didn’t get a clear response on whether he votes, I pushed for a response from this Twitter user and got the following:

 

“You, like most Americans, put way too much faith in voting. That’s what ‘they’ want you to think. ‘Vote then be quiet.’” – and – “Voting for tweedle dee or tweedle dumb isn’t going to change anything. What we need is a real movement of the people.”

 

Another person who doesn’t vote. Great. As Charles Barkley says, “I may be wrong, but I doubt it.” From that response, I was groaning and thinking, “Not again. Another loudmouth person who wants to complain about the political system but won’t even take the first step.”

 

If you’re going to complain about a corrupt government, which he did in the Tweet, “Politics in America amounts to politicians pretending they care, pretending you matter and continuing their corruption: Repub or Dem,” at least be willing to vote for “Tweedle Dee” as opposed to “Tweedle Dumb.” However, when asked if he thought President Barack Obama was corrupt, this same Twitter user tweeted, “OK sure not every politician is corrupt.” And when speaking about a corrupt system stated, “One man isn’t going to change that.”

 

Call me naïve, but Pres. Obama is not just some random guy hanging out in the forest making s’mores. We’re talking about the president of the United States who has a track record of community service, understands the legal system and was a senator, not someone fronting as a politician who is really a movie star (ex. Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwarzenneger).

 

Not voting in the presidential election but complaining about corruption in politics nonstop and all of the problems with Democrats and Republicans makes about as much sense as the guy who complains about the grass being too long but then turns down a free lawnmower. If you want to help fix the issues, the first thing you have to do is get involved by voting.

 

If Senator McCain and author Sarah Palin were now in the White House, we would absolutely not be debating the same political issues, and health care reform would not even be on the table. The topics we’re debating about in themselves show how voting matters. Sitting on Twitter airing out all the issues you have with America without actually going to the voting booth does not help anybody besides Twitter‘s visiting statistics.

 

When I challenged this Twitter user for not voting, I got the following response:

 

“My voting record is not open for public discussion. But even people who don’t vote, are still citizens and capable for opinion.”

 

Yes, people who don’t vote are capable of venting their (empty) opinions, but what is that solving? I can understand someone being angry when a politician is not doing things that they promised to do when running for office. I can understand someone being angry when a politician that they didn’t want to win is screwing America up even worse, in their opinion. But I will never understand it when someone is so negative about the idea of voting and suddenly becomes secretive about his own voting record but wants to air out all of his issues with politicians.

 

Use the lawnmower. Cut the grass. Otherwise sit down and be quiet.