Mereja

Author: Sammie – Fordham University

  • We’ve All Got the Internet Blues

    So according to a recent study, the Internet is making us depressed.

    While the scientists behind the study link depression to the amount of time spent in a virtual world, I have a few of my own theories as to why the Internet is making us all very, very sad.

    1: Checking on the Ex.  If you are about to say that you have never fallen prey to Facebooking our ex you’d better grab a fire extinguisher, because your pants are on fire.  After a break-up, as detailed by Ted Mosby on “How I Met Your Mother,” there is a clear winner and a clear loser.  And of course, you want your ex to be the loser.  So you’ll casually click on his Facebook, just to see how he’s doing (i.e. hopefully read a bunch of depressing status updates regarding his horrible life since you guys broke up, maybe some encouraging wall posts from his friends trying in vain to get him out of his depression of knowing that there was no one else for him than you…) and what do you find? NEW PICTURES OF HIM AND SOME GIRL?!  IT’S ONLY BEEN A WEEK!  WHO IS THIS “JESSICA”??!  You click through the entire album at least twice, only to find that this little witch is now apparently dating your vile ex, and (after a small amount of clicking) she’s just gorgeous and cool and perfect.  <Insert depressing Status Update here.>

    2: Online Shopping. You avoid the expensive stores in the mall because you know you can’t afford them, but there’s no avoiding that amazing Botkier bag or Louboutin pump that you happen to come across while absentmindedly surfing the web in lecture. And seeing it there, taunting you with its beauty, sends you into a deep fit of depression when you know you can’t afford it.

    3: Hey, I’m Doing So Much Better Than You! Even though you know that Facebook trawling is just as harmful as it is helpful (if not more so), you still can’t stay away.  So you see in your Newsfeed that one of your old classmates is putting up pictures from their trip abroad this summer.  Oh it’s no big deal – they just spent a month in Paris in cafes and then trekked down to the coast of the Mediterranean and spent a couple of weeks on the beach.  Oh and there another friend spent, like, two months surfing in Australia.  And this friend over here just changed their work info; oh they’re just casually working at NYLON now…while you are currently in a snow covered dorm boiling water on the sly for oatmeal.  Depression.

    4: WHAT TIME IS IT?! You may think that the internet is just good for killing time between things that you’re doing, but what if those other activities become the things that you’re using to kill time between your Internet time?  It starts with Facebook (everything starts with Facebook now); you’re just casually clicking around, “catching up” with friends and, suddenly, you happen to catch the time. “How is it possible that I’ve been on Facebook for an hour?” But then you feel the need to start catching up on shows you missed last night on Hulu, which shouldn’t take long since these shows are only about 20 minutes long. But then you happen to glance at the clock again and, “ARE YOU KIDDING? HOW DID I LOSE TWO MORE HOURS ON THIS NONSENSE?!”  And now you’re depressed and anxious because all of this mindless clicking means you missed out on everything. Including writing that paper, which will now have you up all night.

    5: What social interaction? Admit it: you’ve IMed someone in the same room as you. If that’s not depressing, I don’t know what is.

  • Facebook and Dating: Where’s The Mystery?

    "OMG his favorite movie is Forrest Gump!? ME TOO!"

    So with the dawn of technology, we are given a whole new arsenal of tools to aid us in the battlefield that is modern dating.  We have texting, phones that make us available anywhere, Twitter, and most useful (yet at the same time lethal): Facebook.

    Facebook is a fantastic thing.  It allows us to post our favorite things, chronicle our social lives, and waste a whole lot of time. We can connect with people who we wouldn’t otherwise still be in touch with (or at least, that’s our parents’ new excuse) and we can learn about people that we don’t know very well.

    But this is also where Facebook turns against us.

    While we enjoy getting “to know” others (read: potential boyfriends) via their Facebook profiles, they are doing the same with us, judging us based on our photos, our applications and what other people are writing on our Wall. They are able to glean more information from 5 minutes online than most people would get after 5 days of actually knowing us. Information that may or may not be a good representation of who we really are.

    A funny storyline of a sitcom used to be when blind dates would bring background checks of their suitors to the date.  Those people would be labeled insane, and that would be the joke. Ha!  But now that joke is a very serious reality. In the days of Twitter, Facebook and Google, who doesn’t attempt to get as much information as possible up front? And who doesn’t make judgement calls on a person based on what they found in their Google thread?

    The problem is, if someone was to judge me based on what they found on my Facebook profile, they’d think I was a drunk with weird friends and a love for really cliche quotes. And that’s not really who I am. Or at least there’s a lot more to me than just all that.

    But most people don’t think about any of that. A quick poll among my friends brought the results that they believe that Facebook is a good thing for budding relationships.  “You can find out what your guy likes and dislikes, who his friends are and what people think about him,” they said. While that’s all well and good – assuming their profile has been updated recently and you can tell whether or not listing BSB as a favorite band was a joke or a very sad reality – maybe knowing all of that so early isn’t such a great thing. One of the most exciting parts of a relationship is the “getting to know you” stage; what happens when you’ve already gotten to know that person before you even have your first date? What do you have to look forward to?

    And even more, what if all that getting to know him prevents a first date?

    There are just some things best left to real, face-to-face human interaction and the dating is most definitely one of them.

  • Five Reasons Why Wingwomen Are The Future

    Yes, we're even better than Barney.

    The wingman: a legendary tool of bros worldwide.

    Once a key to success, wingmen have become so commonplace (there are even books about their rules and various codes) that even the women preyed on by bros and their wingmen know their lingo and their tactics, making their hard work a big waste of time. If guys want to improve their game and up their chances of wooing a lady, then, they are gonna need to change up their Bro Strategy.

    Enter, the Wingwoman.

    Wingwomen are the future.  Whereas most women are hip to the movements of wingmen, wingwomen are the stealth operation of the “game,” and the key to successful mingling between the sexes. And not just for the guy we might be wingin’ for; for ourselves, too!

    For all of you skeptics out there, I have here for you, the five reasons that wingwomen rock:

    1)   We are better with the grenades. So let’s say that this skanky girl is chasing your guy friend around the bar and he can’t seem to shake her loose.  Trying to pawn her off on one of his bros has proved futile, either because she only has eyes for him or because even they won’t take that hit.  What’s a bro to do?  With the wingwoman in their arsenal they need not do anything at all. She just stands near him performs a simple neck stroke or arm-around-the-waist maneuver and that hippo knows this guy is not for the taking.

    2)   We know the enemy. We are girls, you know.  So for ladies who have a general mistrust for the opposite sex, it always helps to have someone with a foot in both camps.  A guy who says, “trust me, he’s such a cool guy” definitely has an ulterior motive behind the movement, while a girl who says “no, believe me, he’s the nicest guy” is way more trustworthy.  We tend to believe it when girls say it, since we believe them to actually have our interests at heart.  And if a girl says it, it also tends to be true.  There are very few wingwomen out there vouching for guys who are total scum.

    3)   We have girlfriends. If a guy already hangs out with us, he knows that we’re awesome. And since birds of a feather flock together, well, he knows our flock is pretty awesome too. And that goes both ways, meaning our girlfriends and our guy friends now all have some new (totally rad) people to mingle with.

    4)   Their bros will be impressed. Girls who hang out with groups of guys are able to tap into a whole different side of the game, shocking guys everywhere.  Guys love finding out that girls are into sports and outdoorsy activities while being hot at the same time, and what better way to show your Giants love (I still love them even though they were miserable failures this season. Sore subject) than by hanging out with your guy friends and talking about the grief that you now feel following the G-Men’s heinous showing this year?  Their bros will be crazy impressed that your guy friend has such a cool girl friend, which ultimately raises your status as well.  You’re welcome.

    5)   We are cool people.  Guys wouldn’t hang out with us in the first place if we didn’t rock, so not only are we extremely useful in the battle that is modern day dating, but we are also sweet people to hang out with in general.  Having a girl who is a friend seems lame in theory to most guys, but in practice we are the bomb.  We know the game and are a wealth of information about the opposite sex, as well as hold many interests that they had know idea we shared.  We are also the people guys come to to share guilty pleasures (perhaps your SECRET Lady Gaga love?  I know your game…) and talk to about things they can’t talk to with their bros. Guys need us!

    See? Flying as a wingwoman for the evening really is the best way to go. For everyone involved.

  • Tim Tebow in Trouble

    There is no doubt that Tim Tebow is an outstanding athlete, a two time Heisman winner who will automatically enter the 2010 NFL Draft. But did you know that the world might never have known that?  In 1987, Pam Tebow was urged by doctors in the Phillipines to abort her pregnancy, because they feared that not only would the baby be stillborn but that her life might be in danger as well.  Pam decided to go against the suggestions of her doctors and carried the baby to term, producing one of the greatest college quarterbacks of all time.

    And now, Tim Tebow is sharing that story and speaking out against abortion in a 30 second spot for a Christian group called “Focus on Family” during the Super Bowl.

    The media is buzzing, the NFL is talking and women’s rights groups nationwide are in a tizzy.

    But why?
    Why does anyone care?
    Why does it matter that Tim Tebow is speaking out on a political cause?

    The answer to that is: it doesn’t.  Everyone needs to stop making such a huge fuss about Tim Tebow participating in a pro-life ad. I mean, really, did this take anyone by surprise?  Tebow is the son of two Christian missionaries and has always been known for being a conservative who has religious standings.  He has been criticized for being preachy before, and is often outspoken on issues like this.

    Even more, this ad really isn’t that big of a deal.

    It was approved by a major network (CBS), who we can only assume wouldn’t air a crazily polarizing ad during their most lucrative advertising day. They wouldn’t want to risk the millions they’re making from everyone else, after all.  I understand why people feel so passionate about this ad and the message it aims to send, but Focus On Family isn’t trying to brainwash anyone into thinking that pro-life is the only true way of thinking. They’re simply doing what Coca-Cola and American Express do every year: trying to get a message out to the largest possible audience about a cause that they want to promote.

    If they pay the millions required to get the air-time and have an approved script by the network airing their ad, it shouldn’t matter that Tim Tebow is taking that stand for the pro-life movement in a public forum.  This is no different than him saying to it to reporters after a game, so if the pro-choice people are going to be that riled up, maybe they should just remember that other political right that we’re all entitled to: free speech.