Mereja

Author: Sarabeth – University of Texas

  • Coupled. On Valentine’s Day

    I have to be honest: I’ve always hated Valentine’s day. Mainly because for a good 90% of my life, the only thing I got on Valentine’s Day was a teddy bear and chocolates from my mom. While she meant well, it wasn’t exactly a self esteem booster in high school when all the other girls were getting roses in homeroom from their sweethearts.

    Then of course, along came Matt and he swept me off my feet. Our first year together was the first Valentine’s Day that I had a boyfriend and I was curious as to what was going to happen. I still hated the holiday; why is it that we assign a single particular day to show our significant others that we love them? Shouldn’t that be an everyday thing? And am I the only one who thinks the alternative motive of this holiday is to shame single people into chocolate induced comas?

    Anyways, Matt hates crowds and I wasn’t exactly jumping at the bit to be a stereotypical couple, so we spent our first Valentine’s Day in my dorm room with movies and snacks. It’s what we love to do, so why not do it on February 14th? I handmade Matt a card and then he completely upstaged me by giving me an expensive bracelet. It was beautiful (what girl wouldn’t want that?!), but it wasn’t the best part of the day. The important thing was that we were together and spending quality time together.

    And while that day was pure Valentine’s perfection in my book, Matt did want to see me dressed up and all lady-like so he took me out for a little romantic dinner a week later on our own time, not the calendar’s!

    We took the commercialism and  stereotypes of my most dreaded holiday and turned them into something all our own. Something I’m actually really looking forward to this year. Once a total (bitter) hater, once I was coupled up I learned that Valentine’s Day isn’t something to fear, it’s something that can be really great. You just have to personalize it. I still think you can pick any day of the year to show your boyfriend that you love him, but it is pretty nice to have an extra reminder in the middle of winter.

    Still, though, can we put an end to the cliche chocolates and roses?

  • Coupled. And Short on Time

    I barely have time to breathe, let alone spend QT with the BF.

    I’m currently only on my second week back in school. However, in those few days, I’ve managed to become a producer at our student TV station, write a paper on The Godfather script, drop a class because it had too much homework, and signed up to become a licensed real estate agent. I’ve canceled or just flat out forgotten about my friends, and worst of all, I’ve barely seen my boyfriend… even though I live with him.

    Now, I know that some of this stress was added by me, myself, and I. I could’ve turned down the producer job and I could’ve decided to wait until summer to get a realtor’s license, but I need to boost my resume for after college and I am running really low on the monies. I know I can manage my time, but the not seeing my boyfriend is really starting to get to me.
    I haven’t been getting home until 8pm, and since I have to get up at 8am every morning, I have about 3 hours to do homework, get ready for the next day, and, if I’m lucky, bathe myself before I go to bed. The most quality time I get with the BF these days is the 5 minutes of cuddling before I completely pass out from exhaustion. This pretty much leaves weekends for me to be a proper girlfriend, and even then I’m preoccupied by laundry and grocery shopping, etc.
    Between school, work and a committed relationship, it feels like I have three full-time jobs. We don’t think about it often, but a lot of work goes into being in a relationship and I haven’t had the time or energy to pull my weight. And I feel terrible. While being successful as a student, producer and future real estate agent are all important to me and my self worth, I also take pride in the fact that I’m a girlfriend. Matt’s important to me too! I made a promise to him when things got serious that I’d never leave him, but now I find myself leaving him daily for school and work.
    Do I wish there was a couple extra hours in the day? Of course I do! But since that’s not happening anytime soon, I have to spend some time managing my time. Just like I write down to-do lists for my  homework, I need to start specifically setting time aside to spend more time in my relationship. I have to let Matt know that he is loved and an important part of my life; not playing second fiddle to school and work. The question is: where will I find the time?

    Anybody else dealing with the time crunch in a relationship? How do you deal?