Author: Veronica Khokhlova

Blue, Black and White Alert writes about Joseph Stalin's presence on Facebook.

Blair Sheridan of Eastern Approaches explains why he doesn't understand the “hysteria” about the last-minute changes to Ukraine's election law. Leigh Turner, UK Ambassador to Ukraine, writes: “Some people I respect are saying there's a fair chance of good quality elections on 7 February.”

St Petersblurb writes about the relationship of Ivan Turgenev, Pauline Viardot, and her husband.

Scatts of Polandian posts “a short guide to Polish drainage” – or a saga on how “approximately five hours of [the blogger's] life last Saturday was devoted to trying to unblock the drain in [his] daughter’s bathroom.”

Remainder of Budapest writes about the social media aspect of the upcoming parliamentary elections in Hungary.

At Jamestown Foundation Blog, Greg Shtraks explains the recent “Sergei Mironov episode.”

LJ user indrih posts a copy of Victor Yanukovych's campaign ad in the Crimean Tatar language and explains (RUS): “Next to Yanukovych's last name are the words ‘light' and ‘kindness,' next to Tymoshenko's last name – ‘darkness' and ‘evil.' ‘This is the difference between them,' is written underneath this comparative table.”

Irina Leonenko shares the story of “her mother's quest for the perfect pickle” at The Pickle Project.

Foreign Notes comments on the last minute changes to election law in Ukraine: “It seems to me any attempts to change the rules half way through any competition, even sporting, should be treated with the greatest of suspicion.”

At OpenDemocracy.net, Lyubov Borusyak writes that “a recent internet vote on the [Russia's] most influential intellectual saw instead postmodern ambiguity emerge victorious.”

In the text below (UKR; Russian translation by LJ user grosman is here) , Lviv-based LJ user dali_bude mocks Ukrainian state bureaucracy and red tape, describing what it would be like to do a Google search if Google were a Ukrainian state-owned company. There are nearly 60 comments to this post, and most readers find the parody hilarious, albeit a bit scary and a bit sad – because is is so close to truth.

If Google were a state-owned company…

– Search requests would have to be submitted in written form, on a special application, on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9 to 11 AM, at [the location where you're registered as a resident]. To do this, you'd have to stand in a line of 30 people.

– The written application would include the search request, as well as your date of birth, address at which you are registered, address of your actual place of residence, the number of children, your ID number, your passport data. With your request, you'd have to attach a color photo taken within the past three months (same type as the one on your travel passport). Three original copies of the written request would have to be submitted.

– The following documents would have to be additionally submitted along with your written request:

* a certificate confirming the absence of a criminal record;
* a certificate confirming the absence of debts for communal services [utilities], including a certificate confirming the absence of debts for heating since 2002;
* a certificate from a narcologist and a psychiatrist confirming competency;
* [military service certificate];
* a written consent note from parents […] and adult children, certifying that they are not opposed to your internet search request; if you have underage children, guardian board permission is needed;
* a decision from an expert commission of the Interior Affairs Ministry, certifying that your search would not lead to revealing state secrets (documents are accepted every third Saturday of every odd month from 4 to 4:30 PM);
* a decision of the regional department of the National Commission on the Issues of Morality, certifying that your search does not contain curses and pornography (documents are temporarily not accepted at the place of your registration, due to repairs);
* a certificate from the hospital confirming that you have had all the scheduled vaccinations and no harmful viruses would get into internet via your search;
* a certificate confirming the absence of other search requests that are currently being considered by [state company] “Googl'.”

– The following payments would have to be made before you submit your search request:

* the cost of the search (450 hryvnias) [approx. $56];
* insurance payment (8.50 hryvnias) [approx. $1];
* obligatory voluntary contribution to the Googl' of the Future Fund (93.11 hryvnias [$11.63], PLEASE HAVE THE EXACT AMOUNT READY, WE DON'T HAVE CHANGE!);

– Search request would be accepted only after you sign an Additional Agreement, by which you ascertain that you will not use other internet search services for three years since the day you sign the agreement. The agreement is signed in the presence of a notary public (the notary public service fee is 150 hryvnias [$18.75]).

– You should come no earlier than in 20 work days to pick up your “Quotation from the Internet” (the official name of the search results), and you'll have to stand in yet another line for that. You'll receive the quotation in printed form (printed on a dot matrix printer). Due to the lack of state budget funding, graphics that show up in the results of the search will not be printed.

– If the results aren't there yet, you should wait 20 work days more, after which you have the right to repeat your search request.

– If you own a website and provide free access to information, then, according to the Law #666-66 from February 38, 2010, due to the need to have state regulation of the information politics on the web, and in order to unify search services and allow more convenient access to information on the web for Ukrainian citizens, you are obliged:

* to urgently pass all the information from your website to the state company “Ukrainian Googl'” on 3.5-inch floppy disks (only disks produced by the private company “Disketa-Googl'” are allowed, the price of a single item is 25 hryvnias [$3.10]);
* once you receive the confirmation, [you have] to delete all the information from your website within five days.

Hungarian Spectrum reports that Victor Orbán, leader of the opposition party Fidesz, now has a Facebook page – and nearly 8,000 fans: “By the way, I'll bet that as soon as Orbán wins the elections this whole flirtation with the Internet will come to an abrupt end.”

Citizen activists tore down a fence at yet another illegal construction site in downtown Kyiv: 25 photos, as well as earlier updates (UKR) – here and here – atDerybanu.net.

Reference Frame reports that “Dr Michael Vít, the chief of the public health in the Czech Republic, in charge of the mandatory vaccination of the soldiers and other public employees,” appears to have caught swine flu: “A kind of hypocrisy for him not to be vaccinated.”

Tetyana Vysotska of What's Up, Ukraine? and Leigh Turner, UK Ambassador to Ukraine, post their “guesstimations” for the outcome of the Feb. 7 presidential election; Tammy Lynch of Jamestown Foundation Blog writes about a raider attack on the printing company “responsible for producing ballots” and the Feb. 1 TV debate with only one of the two candidates present; LEvko of Foreign Notes also comments on the one-person debate.

Window on Eurasia writes about the gradual disappearance of the online editions of Crimean Tatar newspapers.

Polandian shares some winter survival tips.

Hungarian Spectrum writes that “the Roma (Gypsy) situation is the gravest social problem today in Hungary” and in “the whole region,” points out to similar problems in the United States in the 1960s, and describes a successful re-education project for some 60 Roma families living in the town of Monor.

Siberian Light reports that the Renault F1 team has signed Vitaly Petrov – “the first ever Russian to race in F1″ – as the second driver for the 2010 season.

Media Network blog of Radio Netherlands Worldwide writes about the Georgian-owned, Russian-language First Caucasian TV channel, whose satellite broadcasts have recently been interrupted – here and here. And here's Eternal Remont's take on the situation.