![\"xmas\"](\"http:\/\/www.techcrunch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/12\/xmas.jpg\")
<\/a>The only good thing about the deadline for this week’s TechCrunch round-up falling on Christmas Day is the absolute certain fact that you won’t be reading the results. After all, with the holiday season in full swing, no one in their right mind will be reading TechCrunch. I certainly won’t.<\/p>\nSafe in that knowledge, I can pretty claim anything I like. That this week’s top story was Mark Zuckerberg being eaten by zebras<\/a>, for example, or Al Qaeda investing in Twitter<\/a>. Hell, I could probably claim that Spotify is profitable<\/a> and it would still pass entirely without remark. Who would know? Just me and Google’s spider.<\/p>\n But I’m a professional – which is why I only missed my Christmas Day deadline by 24 hours – and as such I take seriously my responsibility to bring you this week’s top stories, regardless of whether you care or not. Hell, I’ve even come up with a festive theme in a vain attempt to keep you reading. Even though I know you’re not.<\/p>\n Here we go then…<\/p>\n On the first day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you\u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n One<\/strong> billion dollar exits<\/a> On the second day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n Two<\/strong> out of every ten companies suffering from “stealth disease”<\/a> On the third day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you\u2026<\/em> Four<\/strong> screenings of Avatar<\/a> Five<\/strong> hundred and fifty million dollars<\/a> On the sixth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n Six<\/strong>-ty thousand nooks will be shipped by Barnes & Noble this year <\/a> Seven<\/strong> million more dollars raised by ChaCha<\/a> Eight<\/strong> million dollars raised by Livemocha<\/a> Nine<\/strong> ‘rock-star’ names associated with WePay’s new group payments services<\/a> Ten<\/strong> IPO Candidates for 2010<\/a> Eleven<\/strong> billion valuation for Facebook<\/a> Twelve<\/strong> (at least) religions that I’ve certainly offended by suggesting that the entire world stops for Christmas. I look forward to the comments. Not that I’ll be reading them – after all, it’s Christmas!<\/p>\n Have a good week!<\/p>\n Crunch Network<\/em><\/strong>: CrunchGear<\/a> <\/em>drool over the sexiest new gadgets and hardware.<\/p>\n
\nSarah rounded off her South American research trip by profiling Wences Casares and examining the difference between billion dollar exits and what it means to feel “success”.<\/p>\n
\nVivek tells stealth start-ups: Get Over Yourselves: Nobody Cares About Your Secrets.<\/p>\n
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\nThree<\/strong> years of Crunchies<\/a>
\nThe first tickets to the third annual Crunchies sold out very quickly, but there’s still plenty of time to vote<\/a> for the winners across 18 categories before voting closes on January 6th.
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\nOn the fourth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n
\nOr at least that’s how many Arrington has attended since the movie launched this week and he described it as ‘The iPhone Of Movies’.<\/p>\n
\nOn the fifth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n
\nOver half a billion dollars; the price that Yelp turned down when they walked away from selling to Google.<\/p>\n
\n\u2026despite issues with shipping pre-orders.
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\nOn the seventh day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n
\n\u2026.despite issues with their entire business being a joke.<\/p>\n
\nOn the eighth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n
\n\u2026in a round led by August Capital to allow the online language-learning community to build new partnership deals and work on product development.<\/p>\n
\nOn the ninth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n
\nLevchin, McClure, Conway, Y Combinator\u2026<\/p>\n
\nOn the tenth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n
\n\u2026.and, from Europe, ten disappointing tech stories<\/a> of 2009.
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\nOn the eleventh day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n
\nUp from the company’s $10billion valuation earlier this year.
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\nAnd finally. On the twelfth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n
![by zebras<\/a>, for example, or Al Qaeda](\"http:\/\/static.howstuffworks.com\/gif\/zebra-camo.jpg\"){kind=link}