{"id":113028,"date":"2009-12-15T15:07:12","date_gmt":"2009-12-15T20:07:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.bssd.org\/?p=3251"},"modified":"2009-12-15T15:07:12","modified_gmt":"2009-12-15T20:07:12","slug":"don%e2%80%99t-pluck-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/113028","title":{"rendered":"Don\u2019t Pluck Me!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>by f. pete<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-3252\" title=\"turkey-dinner\" src=\"http:\/\/blog.bssd.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/12\/turkey-dinner-150x150.png\" alt=\"turkey-dinner\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/><\/p>\n<p>As a chick growing up, I watched my elders get shot- I thought we were at war with the humans. But no, they kill and eat us every year around the same time. thats not war, it\u2019s slaughter! I am old enough to get eaten now, but I don\u2019t want to get eaten, I want to live!<\/p>\n<p>I lived through the Bird Flu era, but I don\u2019t know if i have the bird flu. I had headache symptoms these past four years. And with all this disaster going on in the world, I think I can get the best of it and live to be the oldest turkey there is.<\/p>\n<p>My feathers are too beautiful to be plucked! Right now I\u2019m in my prime condition as a turkey. I command all the young turkey to stay away from any suspicious looking objects and no to go to any turkey calls. I seen this trick too many times. I see it coming up the drive way.<\/p>\n<p>This year, I\u2019m the last of my kind. All my kids and other family members got killed on the same day. How can I repopulate the field if I don\u2019t have a mate. I\u2019m glad I\u2019m the last turkey because I can get saved by the government. i can get saved but I\u2019ll be pretty lonely. \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0I can hear you humans already: \u201cEat him! He\u2019s too delicious to waste!\u201d I say \u201cNo, actually I\u2019m too stringy, my meat is too spoiled.<\/p>\n<p>I did it! I\u2019m the last turkey in the world. Also the oldest. Todays date: June 15, 2089. I am 99 years old. I lived so long that the people don\u2019t eat turkey anymore, they would rather eat canadian geese for Thanksgiving. I\u2019m glad they\u2019re eating canadian geese, because there is a heck of a lot of geese. Bye bye humans! I\u2019m going to live at Hawaii.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by f. pete As a chick growing up, I watched my elders get shot- I thought we were at war with the humans. But no, they kill and eat us every year around the same time. thats not war, it\u2019s slaughter! I am old enough to get eaten now, but I don\u2019t want to get [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":975,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-113028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113028","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/975"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=113028"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113028\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=113028"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=113028"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=113028"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}