{"id":134156,"date":"2009-12-27T03:20:00","date_gmt":"2009-12-27T07:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715049094354778809.post-3554595609268386353"},"modified":"2009-12-27T03:23:57","modified_gmt":"2009-12-27T07:23:57","slug":"how-five-fingers-turned-me-into-a-transvestite","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/134156","title":{"rendered":"How Five Fingers Turned Me into a Transvestite"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>It’s cold in the UK at the moment. Brass monkey<\/span> weather.<\/p>\n

Walking though the city recently, I was aware of a gaping hole in my insulation. Whilst my feet were kept warm by snugly-fitting Vibram Five Finger Treks<\/a> and my legs by fleece-lined trousers, in between there was nothing. A whistling gale sliced across my ankles like a razor.<\/p>\n

I was passing a ladies’ accessories shop, when it struck me.<\/p>\n

Have you got any leg warmers?<\/span> I enquired within.<\/p>\n

Over here<\/span>, pointed the young lady assistant, coming out from behind the desk in spite of the I-don’t-want-help vibes I thought I was giving.<\/p>\n

Before us lay an array of multi-coloured Cindy Lauper-esque leg warmers.<\/p>\n

She, ahem, wants them in plain black<\/span>, I said.<\/p>\n

The girl removed a pair from the display. We’ve only the fishnets in plain black,<\/span> she said.<\/p>\n

I looked doubtful, but she grinned encouragingly. Go on – girls like a bit of kinky!<\/span><\/p>\n

Okay<\/span>, I said weakly. My deception had left me unable to reason convincingly.<\/p>\n

Later, under the scrutiny of my compadr\u00e9s, I was naturally subject to ridicule. You’re gay<\/span>, was the sing-song verdict of one. Another emailed this YouTube link<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Ridicule I can tolerate, but cold ankles I simply won’t stand for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a><\/td>\n\"\"<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s cold in the UK at the moment. Brass monkey weather. Walking though the city recently, I was aware of a gaping hole in my insulation. Whilst my feet were kept warm by snugly-fitting Vibram Five Finger Treks and my legs by fleece-lined trousers, in between there was nothing. A whistling gale sliced across my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1676,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-134156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1676"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=134156"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134156\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=134156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=134156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=134156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}