![\"AUDRIE](\"http:\/\/www.stanforddaily.com\/cgi-bin\/wp-content\/uploads\/fea010610fitness-300x189.jpg\" "\\"AUDRIE")
There\u2019s only one solution: it\u2019s time to get my swell on.<\/p>\nIt\u2019s 4:23 p.m. on a dull Thursday afternoon and I\u2019m staring at an untouched problem set due in less than 24 hours. Meandering into the common room, I contemplate turning on ESPN, the typical immediate remedy to my procrastination, but today I can\u2019t afford to waste away on the couch.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s only one solution: it\u2019s time to get my swell on.<\/p>\n
The bike ride to the Tresidder Fitness Center elapses like the minutes before midnight on New Year\u2019s Eve, and unachievable workout goals are made like ludicrous New Year\u2019s Resolutions.<\/p>\n
As I make my grand entrance into the workout facility, I swipe my card, give a little \u201cwhat up\u201d head nod to the cute girl at the front desk and put down my red bookstore bag in a Kindergarten-like cubby. Gathering my iPod and water bottle, I go through a quick, preliminary scouting of the gym.<\/p>\n
The small cardio section is halfway full, occupied by two Kappas on the elliptical machines, a 60-something-year-old professor on a treadmill and two freshmen in \u201cStanford Beirut\u201d shirts talking about the upcoming weekend\u2019s ragers while biking next to each other.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s gonna be fucking sick!\u201d one says to the other.<\/p>\n
He\u2019s the man.<\/p>\n
As I walk over to the stationary bicycles on the opposite side of the gym, I recall one of my aforementioned lofty goals: a solid cardio workout for 30 minutes.<\/p>\n
Did I say 30? Let\u2019s aim for 10.<\/p>\n
After giving a half-assed effort on the bike while listening to Kid Cudi, I decide that it\u2019s go time and head over to the free weight section.<\/p>\n
Two fairly thin Asian pals are spotting each other on the bench, both attempting what appears to be an impossible rep of 150 pounds.<\/p>\n
“Come on man, you got this,\u201d the taller of the two says to his friend. As he helps his friend unrack the bar, I watch in disbelief as the lifter\u2019s face turns a shade of red that belittles the \u201cAsian glow.\u201d He struggles with the bar on his chest and, with obvious assistance from his spotter, re-racks the weights with a tremendous exhale.<\/p>\n
\u201cDamn, I was so close!\u201d<\/p>\n
No. No, you weren\u2019t.<\/p>\n
I regain focus after unknowingly staring at these two for about five minutes and decide to get involved in a little dumbbell press action. I pick up 45-pound weights for a warm-up set, when, out of nowhere, one of the giant regulars comes and starts curling the 50s.<\/p>\n
So, that\u2019s how it\u2019s going to be?<\/p>\n
With a quick and awkward exchange of subtle snarls in the mirror, the game of dumbbell chicken is on. I do a quick set and go for the 55s. He immediately grabs the 60s.<\/p>\n
Come on, bro; throw me a goddamn bone.<\/p>\n
I can still lift the 55s, but I know that I am headed for trouble. Grabbing for the 65s, I see that he goes for the 70s. I struggle through a small set and pick up the 75s, praying for surrender. He glances at the weight in my hands, gives a bull-like huff and walks with a little swag over to the rowing machine.<\/p>\n
Can I comfortably chest press 150 pounds? You bet your sweet ass I can\u2019t. Did I win? Absolutely.<\/p>\n
As I move onto a new exercise, I spot two more frequenters. As I discreetly turn down the volume of my music, I hear them discuss, what else? Lifting weights.<\/p>\n
\u201cI maxed 300 the other day,\u201d one says. \u201cI\u2019m pumped.\u201d<\/p>\n
This means one of two things: He\u2019s either really excited to have accomplished a significant workout milestone, or he\u2019s geeked up after snorting a line of creatine. My money is on the second, as the veins in his right forearm are bigger than my biceps.<\/p>\n
As I chuckle to myself about the douchiness of many of the gym rats, I get caught in a swarm of hypocrisy. After a set of triceps pushdowns, I catch myself flexing to the beat of Alice Deejay\u2019s techno anthem, \u201cBetter Off Alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shit, I am such a tool.<\/p>\n
After pumping a little more iron and undergoing several more moments of awkward mirror eye contact, I decide that my work here is done. I gather my things and give yet another head nod \u2014 if only my game with the ladies were as strong as my dumbbell chicken skills.<\/p>\n
As I\u2019m exiting the gym, I overhear a conversation between the Asian pair.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just wanna get big.\u201d<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t we all?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s 4:23 p.m. on a dull Thursday afternoon and I\u2019m staring at an untouched problem set due in less than 24 hours. Meandering into the common room, I contemplate turning on ESPN, the typical immediate remedy to my procrastination, but today I can\u2019t afford to waste away on the couch. There\u2019s only one solution: it\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-143825","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143825","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=143825"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143825\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=143825"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=143825"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=143825"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}