![\"TTP-logo-masthead\"](\"http:\/\/www.justaguything.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/TTP-logo-masthead.jpg\" "\\"TTP-logo-masthead\\""){kind=logo}
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Here’s an article from our friends over at The Toilet Paper<\/a>. To subscribe to their free ball busting daily newsletter, click here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n It\u2019s 2010 and still no Jetsons fold-up cars or Back to the Future hover boards. However, it\u2019s hard to be disappointed with mankind\u2019s technological progress when you consider that we do have spray pancakes and those nifty Heineken mini-kegs.<\/p>\n Every January fills us with optimism, a clearer sense of <\/span>purpose, and the goal of positive change, AKA the New Year\u2019s resolution. That\u2019s right; it\u2019s time to lose the FUPA, stop smoking, quit gambling, cut down on the booze, go to church on Sunday, and volunteer at a local orphanage giving hugs. For us here at TTP headquarters, we are giving up dating girls named JWoww and are selling the office didgeridoo.<\/p>\n Numbers<\/strong><\/p>\n 49% – Percentage of all adults who have ever smoked that quit, according to the American Heart Association. Sounds like an incredibly high success rate until you consider it\u2019s hard to continue smoking when you\u2019re dead.<\/p>\n Quote<\/strong><\/p>\n Better a broken promise than none at all. Mark, we\u2019d like you to meet Elin Nordegren Woods.<\/p>\n Words<\/strong> \t<\/p>\n eschew<\/p>\n verb. 1. To abstain or keep away from; shun; avoid.<\/p>\n Used in a sentence: Following getting his teeth knocked out at Esau\u2019s bar mitzvah, Efram has eschewed fruit chews. <\/p>\n Fact<\/strong><\/p>\n The first day of the year was fixed as January 1 by the Gregorian calendar, which was introduced by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582. The purpose of introducing a new calendar was the need to regulate Christian feasts, days, and festivals. Coincidentally, it\u2019s also great for keeping track of the annual Topless Coleslaw Wrestling Tournament at Biketoberfest.<\/p>\n The List<\/strong><\/p>\n Least Popular New Year\u2019s Resolutions For more in your face news blasts, click here to subscribe to The Toilet Paper now. <\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n Related posts:<\/p>\n Here’s an article from our friends over at The Toilet Paper. To subscribe to their free ball busting daily newsletter, click here. It\u2019s 2010 and still no Jetsons fold-up cars or Back to the Future hover boards. However, it\u2019s hard to be disappointed with mankind\u2019s technological progress when you consider that we do have spray […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-153439","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153439","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=153439"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/153439\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=153439"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=153439"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=153439"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nMark Twain<\/p>\n
\n1. Gain fifty pounds.
\n2. No more flossing.
\n3. Explore Topeka, KS.
\n4. Become a fan of Insane Clown Posse.
\n5. Finally catch herpes.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
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