{"id":231953,"date":"2010-01-26T14:00:50","date_gmt":"2010-01-26T19:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/collegecandy.com\/?p=52079"},"modified":"2010-01-26T14:00:50","modified_gmt":"2010-01-26T19:00:50","slug":"life-after-college-i%e2%80%99m-lame-yeah-i-said-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/231953","title":{"rendered":"Life After College: I\u2019m Lame. Yeah, I Said It"},"content":{"rendered":"
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My ideal Friday night. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Riddle me this. Why did no one warn me that 3-day weekends don’t exist in the real world?<\/p>\n

Maybe I was naive and in a college bubble, but I truly had no idea that people worked full days on Friday. Like it still blows me away me when my boss gives me a ten page to-do list on Friday at 4:00. By that time I’m in full weekend mode and already planning my outfit for the night. And by outfit for the night, I mean figuring out which pajamas will be the most comfortable while I drink wine alone in my bed.<\/p>\n

I can barely get up the energy to go out on both Friday and Saturday anymore. Hell, I barely have the energy to move myself from my couch to my bed at 10 p.m. on Friday night after Ugly Betty<\/em> is over. I’ve turned into a pathetic version of myself. A version that I’d be hazing and probably rolling my eyes at if I were my former cooler, drunker, college self. I actually enjoy spending my weekend nights eating cookie dough and watching deleted scenes of The Notebook<\/em>. I’m one Friday-night-in away from buying matching pajama sets.<\/span><\/p>\n

But this weekend I had a momentary lapse in judgment and forgot I’m a 40-year-old middle aged mom. I went out Friday night, Saturday night, AND Sunday afternoon. I should have quit while I was ahead. Sunday Funday (as everyone insists on calling it) is anything but fun. It’s a day drinking event that should be left to the pros — college students and David Hasseloff.<\/p>\n

Chugging mimosas 1-3 made me feel like a champ. I felt like I was back in my prime and I even debated tattooing Sunday Funday across my forehead. However, after that it was all downhill. I got bloated, hungover, and tired before the sun even went down. It didn’t take me long to go from being a fun postgrad to being an upright corpse. I crawled home, got into my sweats, and watched a quality Lifetime movie.<\/p>\n

As I lay in bed, willing my room not to spin, I couldn’t believe it was already Sunday, my weekend was already over and I was too drunk to actually do anything. Like laundry or grocery shopping. Those are the things you think of when the weekend comes in the real world.\u00a0 Things are bleak out here and I fear I’ll never get used to this life…or such unbearably short weekends. The only thing I have to look forward to now is the day that they invent cookie dough that doesn’t come with the risk of salmonella.<\/p>\n

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My ideal Friday night. Riddle me this. Why did no one warn me that 3-day weekends don’t exist in the real world? Maybe I was naive and in a college bubble, but I truly had no idea that people worked full days on Friday. Like it still blows me away me when my boss gives […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4645,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-231953","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/231953","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4645"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=231953"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/231953\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=231953"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=231953"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=231953"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}