Mr. Scatter\u2019s recent post<\/a> about \u2013 in no particular order \u2013 hairy beasts, barista whelps, a little town some miles south of Portland known to locals as \u201cSan Francisco,\u201d and Harrison Ford\u2019s tendency to shout in irritation.<\/p>\nWhat did Mr. Deemer say? To quote: \u201cI don\u2019t know of a blog with a sweeter subtext. I want to write the screenplay.\u201d<\/p>\n
That led Mr. and Mrs. Scatter to ruminate about what subtext he could be talking about. Meeting hairy beasts in the woods? Meeting barista whelps? A glitzed-out hotel in San Fran? Yelling dialogue?<\/p>\n
![\"Ah,](\"http:\/\/www.artscatter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/victoriancouple2.jpg\" "\\"Ah,")
Mrs. Scatter preferred to take<\/strong> the more romantic view and suggest the sweet subtext just might be relying on blog comments to send a message to her far-flung long-lost husband to pick up milk on the way home.<\/p>\nIt\u2019s true. Mr. and Mrs. Scatter have been toiling lately in diverse locales and occasionally blowing kisses to each other through the windows of passing motorcars. By coincidence, just yesterday, Mr. and Mrs. Scatter were going in separate directions to hobnob with blog buddies \u2013 Mrs. Scatter to have coffee with MTC and Mr. Scatter to have lunch with MUW.<\/p>\n
As Mrs. Scatter stood in the shower <\/strong>with warm water cascading over her back and the soft hum of the fan filling the air, she thought about how much she appreciated the few precious minutes she had with her beloved husband before hightailing it out of the house.<\/p>\nShe began to wonder what a screenplay with a sweet subtext would look like. She began to wonder if it was possible, without giving too much away, to share a rare behind-the-scenes peek of Mr. and Mrs. Scatter, of the delicate nuances of their romantic tryst, of the all-important underpinnings of their strong marriage.<\/p>\n
Mrs. Scatter tried not to think of the baskets full of clean laundry sitting in the middle of the living room and tried not to wonder whether Mr. Scatter would have time to fold it or whether she would have to strong-arm the Large Smelly Boys. Instead, she tried to imagine a sweet, sweet subtext.<\/p>\n
And then, as if on cue,<\/strong> as if the screenplay were writing itself, this absolutely true, completely unaltered exchange happened. Mr. Deemer, we are so here to help you.<\/p>\n(This dialogue has not been edited for brevity or clarity. This is reality blogging, people. Normally, the dialogue would be upper- and lowercase, but that\u2019s just not the case here.)<\/p>\n
A Screenplay with a Sweet Subtext, in One Act<\/strong><\/div>\n0. INT. ART SCATTER WORLD HEADQUARTERS. BATHROOM. MORNING.
\nSilence, except for the gentle sound of streaming water and the soft hum of a fan. Steam envelops the elegant bathroom with clean, monochromatic colors and antique tile floor. A skylight frames a cheerful view of blue sky and bare tree branches swaying ever so slightly in the breeze. A bluebird flits from branch to branch. <\/em><\/p>\nMR. SCATTER<\/div>\n
Heard from a long way off behind a closed door.<\/em> (Incoherent blah blah blah.)<\/p>\nStartled,<\/em> MRS. SCATTER rinses shampoo from her face.<\/em><\/p>\nMRS. SCATTER<\/div>\n
WHAT? I CAN\u2019T HEAR YOU! THE FAN\u2019S ON! COME CLOSER AND YELL LOUDER!!!!<\/p>\n
MR. SCATTER<\/div>\n
Heard through the door, closer this time.<\/em> SOMEONE SCREWED UP THE KITCHEN LIGHTS AGAIN!<\/p>\nMRS. SCATTER<\/div>\n
WHAT? Confused for a moment.<\/em> OH! YOU MEAN THE LIGHT SWITCHES AREN\u2019T THE RIGHT UP AND DOWN?<\/p>\nMR. SCATTER<\/div>\n
YAH! THEY\u2019RE ALL SCREWED UP! SOMEONE DOESN\u2019T KNOW HOW TO LEAVE THE CORRECT ONE UP AND THE CORRECT ONE DOWN!<\/p>\n
MRS. SCATTER<\/div>\n
Reaching for the conditioner.<\/em> GO AWAY! THAT DOESN\u2019T MATTER!<\/p>\nClomping footsteps heard retreating from the bathroom door. <\/em><\/p>\nMR. SCATTER<\/div>\n
(Harumphing grumbles.)<\/p>\n
MRS. SCATTER<\/div>\n
BUT THE TOILET PAPER BETTER GO OVER!<\/p>\n
MR. SCATTER
\n<\/em><\/div>\nHeard from afar, like a faint echo, from a bit down the hall.<\/em> WELL, OF COURSE! WE\u2019RE MARRIED! WE GOTTA AGREE ON THAT!<\/p>\n****<\/p>\n
– Laura Grimes<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The Pantsless Brother (TPB), who was so concerned about Mrs. Scatter overexposing his predicament about getting gas out of his pants, recently said, \u201cSo you haven\u2019t written for a coupla weeks.\u201d Charles Deemer commented on Mr. Scatter\u2019s recent post about \u2013 in no particular order \u2013 hairy beasts, barista whelps, a little town some miles […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-235906","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235906","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=235906"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235906\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=235906"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=235906"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=235906"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"Mr.](\"http:\/\/www.artscatter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/victorian_couple.jpg\" "\\"Mr.")
<\/p>\n