{"id":241130,"date":"2010-01-28T09:00:44","date_gmt":"2010-01-28T14:00:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/collegecandy.com\/?p=52335"},"modified":"2010-01-28T09:00:44","modified_gmt":"2010-01-28T14:00:44","slug":"sexy-time-when-sex-gets-awkward","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/241130","title":{"rendered":"Sexy Time: When Sex Gets Awkward"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

As we all know, sex doesn\u2019t always happen like it does in the movies<\/a> (especially of the porn variety). Here are some tips to help deal when things get a little less magical and a lot more awkward.<\/p>\n

Mr. Mute<\/strong>
\nHe hasn\u2019t made a single sound since we started – what do I do?<\/p>\n

1. Check to see if he\u2019s still awake.<\/strong><\/em> If he\u2019s sleeping (or passed out) roll over and pretend you passed out too. This will make things way less awkward in the morning. And don’t worry – it happens to the best of us. It’s not that your signature move was so boring it put him to sleep; it’s probably due to a little too much Natty Light. If he\u2019s awake, proceed to step two.
\n2. Say his name and make some noises yourself<\/strong><\/em>. Hopefully he\u2019ll feel more comfortable and speak up. Still not working?
\n3. Bite him really hard so that he yelps in pain.<\/strong><\/em> If he still doesn\u2019t make a sound, he\u2019s probably in some sort of hypnotic trance. Pride yourself on being so amazing in bed you stunned him, then get the hell out of there lest you be blamed when he ends up in a coma.<\/span><\/p>\n

    <\/ol>\n

    Bloody Mary<\/strong>
    \nUh-oh, my period came early this month. What do I do?<\/p>\n

    1. \u201cI\u2019m so glad my first time was with you!\u201d<\/strong><\/em> This can work if you say it sincerely (it could be a fun way to freak out your one night stand) or if you say it jokingly to take the edge off.
    \n2. Clean it up<\/strong><\/em>. If his sheets are a mess, offer to wash them with him.
    \n3. Move on<\/strong><\/em>. Most men won\u2019t be traumatized for life after seeing a little bit of blood, so be the two consenting adults that you are and get over it.<\/p>\n

      <\/ol>\n

      Stage Fright<\/strong>
      \nHe can\u2019t       get it up<\/a>, help!<\/p>\n

      1. Assure him <\/strong><\/em>that you\u2019re in no rush and love just making out. Taking the pressure off might help him get into the right state of mind. Not working?
      \n2. Cut your losses.<\/strong><\/em> Pushing the situation for too long will just make him more embarrassed. Find something fun to do instead that takes his mind off things and shows him you don’t care either.
      \n3. \u201cBut I\u2019m still horny!\u201d<\/strong><\/em> If that’s the case, you can always ask for some oral pleasure. Most of the time (unless you skipped over #2 and he’s now crying in the fetal position) he won’t want to leave you high and dry and will be more than happy to please.<\/p>\n

        <\/ol>\n

        Welcome to the Sahara<\/strong>
        \nI\u2019m really turned on, but the juices aren\u2019t flowing. What do I do?<\/p>\n

        1. If you have lube, use it! <\/strong><\/em>There\u2019s no shame in needing some extra moisture.
        \n2. No lube?<\/strong><\/em> Saliva works great, and it\u2019s more fun to apply.
        \n3. If it still feels too dry or hurts<\/strong><\/em>, don\u2019t push yourself or         you\u2019ll be sore afterward<\/a>. Find some other way you can both be satisfied.<\/p>\n

          <\/ol>\n

          What awkward situations have you run into? How did you deal?<\/em><\/p>\n

          \"\"<\/a> \"\"<\/a> \"\"<\/a> \"\"<\/a> \"\"<\/a> \"\"<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

          As we all know, sex doesn\u2019t always happen like it does in the movies (especially of the porn variety). Here are some tips to help deal when things get a little less magical and a lot more awkward. Mr. Mute He hasn\u2019t made a single sound since we started – what do I do? 1. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4015,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-241130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241130","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4015"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=241130"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241130\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=241130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=241130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=241130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}