{"id":374022,"date":"2010-02-28T23:01:43","date_gmt":"2010-03-01T04:01:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/firedoglake.com\/?p=69768"},"modified":"2010-02-28T23:01:43","modified_gmt":"2010-03-01T04:01:43","slug":"sunday-late-night-how-did-they-name-canada","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/374022","title":{"rendered":"Sunday Late Night: How Did They Name Canada?"},"content":{"rendered":"

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The people living there decided to pull letters out of a bag, like you do to start a game of Scrabble\u2122.<\/p>\n

\n
\n

Well, that’s a C<\/em>, eh?<\/strong><\/p>\n

And an N<\/em>, eh?<\/p>\n

<\/strong>And a D<\/em>, eh?<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

And, more specifically, here’s the top ten reasons to live in Vancouver<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n
\n

1. Weed
\n2. Two million people and two bridges
\n3. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder
\n4. The local wine doesn\u2019t taste like malt vinegar
\n5. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown
\n6. A university with a nude beach
\n7. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations
\n8. If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash
\n9. There\u2019s always some sort of deforestation protest going on
\n10. Cannabis<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

And, to honor the Canadan hockey team which won a Gold Olympics\u2122 medal to the United States of America’s Platinum<\/a> Olympics\u2122 medal, here’s some Manitoba jokes<\/a>:<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n

You know your from Manitoba, Canada, when\u2026.<\/p>\n

You only know three spices \u2013 salt, pepper and ketchup.<\/p>\n

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.<\/p>\n

The mosquitoes have landing lights.<\/p>\n

You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.<\/p>\n

You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.<\/p>\n

Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.<\/p>\n

You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.<\/p>\n

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.<\/p>\n

You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.<\/p>\n

The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1\/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports.<\/p>\n

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.<\/p>\n

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.<\/p>\n

Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.<\/p>\n

You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.<\/p>\n

You head south to go to your cottage.<\/p>\n

You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won\u2019t prowl on your deck.<\/p>\n

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.<\/p>\n

The major parish fund-raiser isn\u2019t bingo \u2013 it\u2019s sausage making.<\/p>\n

You find -40C a little chilly.<\/p>\n

The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.<\/p>\n

You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels.<\/p>\n

You can play road hockey on skates.<\/p>\n

You know 4 seasons \u2013 Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.<\/p>\n

The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.<\/p>\n

You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Northern friends.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

And, finally, for those of you from elsewhere who have a hard time<\/a> telling Australians, Brits, Canadans, and USAmericans apart, here’s a primer:<\/p>\n

\n
\n

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.<\/p>\n

Canadians<\/strong>: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.<\/p>\n

Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.<\/p>\n

Brits: Can\u2019t possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.<\/p>\n

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.<\/p>\n

Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.<\/p>\n

Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.<\/p>\n

Canadians<\/strong>: Believe that that\u2019s the government\u2019s job.<\/p>\n

Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.<\/p>\n

Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.<\/p>\n

Canadians<\/strong>: Can\u2019t agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.<\/p>\n

Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.<\/p>\n

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.<\/p>\n

Canadians<\/strong>: Don\u2019t, but only because they can\u2019t get more American channels.<\/p>\n

Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.<\/p>\n

Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.<\/p>\n

Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball.<\/p>\n

Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.<\/p>\n

Canadians<\/strong>: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.<\/p>\n

Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.<\/p>\n

Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it \u201cEnglish\u201d.<\/p>\n

Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it \u201cEnglish\u201d.<\/p>\n

Canadians<\/strong>: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.<\/p>\n

Aussies: Add \u201cG\u2019day\u201d, \u201cmate\u201d and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to be cool.<\/p>\n

Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.<\/p>\n

Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.<\/p>\n

Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.<\/p>\n

Canadians<\/strong>: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.<\/p>\n

Americans: Drink weak, bad-tasting beer.<\/p>\n

Canadians<\/strong>: Drink strong, bad-tasting beer.<\/p>\n

Brits: Drink warm, bad-tasting beer.<\/p>\n

Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.<\/p>\n

Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.<\/p>\n

Canadians<\/strong>: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.<\/p>\n

Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.<\/p>\n

Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Happy End of The Canuckistan Olympics, everyone!<\/p>\n

And — you may now go back to loving San Francisco best of all the West Coast cities.<\/p>\n

Tags: Canada<\/a>, humor<\/a>, Olympics<\/a><\/p>\n

\"Share <\/a>\n<\/p>\n


<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The people living there decided to pull letters out of a bag, like you do to start a game of Scrabble\u2122. Well, that’s a C, eh? And an N, eh? And a D, eh? And, more specifically, here’s the top ten reasons to live in Vancouver: 1. Weed 2. Two million people and two bridges […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4443,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-374022","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/374022","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4443"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=374022"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/374022\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=374022"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=374022"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=374022"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}