{"id":439445,"date":"2010-03-17T15:51:03","date_gmt":"2010-03-17T19:51:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.popcrunch.com\/?p=96600"},"modified":"2010-03-17T15:51:03","modified_gmt":"2010-03-17T19:51:03","slug":"10-celebrities-who-named-their-children-when-they-were-high","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/439445","title":{"rendered":"10 Celebrities Who Named Their Children When They Were High"},"content":{"rendered":"

Maybe they really were high at the time, or maybe they simply held too high an opinion of themselves: the sort of arrogance that leads people to believe they\u2019re above messing up the lives of their children \u2013 that the little celebrity mini-me\u2019s couldn\u2019t possibly have their school years ruined by an unrelenting barrage of insults and bullying. And all because of a name. A stupid, goddamn name. Mom? Dad? I don\u2019t care how many lousy films you made or embarrassing albums you recorded. How could you have done this to me?<\/p>\n

10. Apple born of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin<\/h3>\n

\"Gwyneth_Paltrow_and_Apple\"<\/p>\n

No, this name didn\u2019t come to fruition due to a love affair \u2013 or marketing deal \u2013 with iphones or Macs. Apparently, Gwyneth Paltrow and shoe gazing lead singer of Coldplay, Chris Martin named their daughter Apple purely by chance or because apples are whole, sweet and crisp. Yeah, when they’re not bad, rotten to the core, basically well past their sell-by-date. A bit like daddy’s albums.<\/p>\n

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Fifi Trixibelle born of Bob Geldof and Paula Yates<\/h3>\n

\"Fifi_Trixibell_and_Bob_Geldof\"<\/p>\n

Any couple that names their other kids Peaches Honeyblossom and Little Pixie are unlikely to have blessed their firstborn with a less freakish moniker. Fifi Trixibelle is said to have been named after celebrity activist onetime pop star dad Bob Geldof\u2019s beloved aunt Fifi, with the Trixibelle bit coming about due to mom Paula Yates\u2019 fascination with southern belles. That’s no excuse though. It still comes out sounding like the podium call at a dog show. They should have tried Fido Snoopy Lassie. Pedigree naming.<\/p>\n

Moon Unit born of Frank Zappa<\/h3>\n

\"Moon_Unit_and_Frank_Zappa\"<\/p>\n

Frank Zappa was a legend, no doubt about it, but those same liberally consumed substances that oiled the wheels of his experimental musical output also helped him dream up some damn strange names for his kids. The father of Dweezil and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen first procreated a girl he named Moon Unit. Yep, barely visible through the herbal haze of the 70s, Zappa was the daddy of the crazy celebrity naming brigade, and Moon Unit set the tone for doped out generations to come.<\/p>\n

Jermajesty born of Jermaine Jackson<\/h3>\n

\"Jermajesty_and_Jermaine_Jackson\"<\/p>\n

This is our personal favorite. Whatever white powder it is that feeds the ego and takes it to new and unheard of levels of self-glorifying idiocy, Jermaine Jackson and partner Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza (previously married to Jermaine’s brother Randy) must’ve been on it in copious quantities. Seriously, though, the ex-Jackson Five star is a guy who has said he ’sees people’ from the 1800s if he sleeps with the lights off, so he’s obviously one sandwich short of a picnic. Yes Jermajesty. Hilarious.<\/p>\n

Memphis Eve born of Bono<\/h3>\n

\"Bono_and_Memphis_Eve\"<\/p>\n

Perhaps it\u2019s small wonder that a self-absorbed rock star who named himself after a hearing aid retailer, Bono Vox, should give his daughter a similarly stupid name like Memphis Eve. As if in competition with his band mate The Edge \u2013 who named his own progeny Blue Angel \u2013 Bono went all weird with the naming of his own child. Was the baby conceived of an evening in Memphis? We hope so, otherwise someone should tell the U2 front man there\u2019s no such thing as Memphis Day.<\/p>\n

Prince Michael II born of Michael Jackson<\/h3>\n

\"Michael_Jackson_and_children<\/p>\n

We know it\u2019s not really the done thing to speak ill of the dead, but someone \u2013 even a dead someone \u2013 who names their miraculously conceived offspring after themselves while adding the cheesiest of royal titles must have been a bit nuts in the head. Oh wait, that\u2019s exactly what the King of Pop was. Freaking nuts. Prince Michael II was also given the nickname Blanket, a word that in this context somehow seems a little too cuddly.<\/p>\n

Rocket born of Robert Rodriguez<\/h3>\n

\"Robert_Rodriguez_and_family\"<\/p>\n

Father to children who go by the names of Racer, Rebel, Rogue and, best of all, Rocket, Robert Rodriguez is evidently a film maker keen to preserve the really quite relentlessly repetitious alliterative qualities of his own name in his bloodline. And to do so while conjuring a host of boyishly action-packed images \u2013 much like the Sin City director\u2019s films.<\/p>\n

Sage Moonblood born of Sylvester Stallone<\/h3>\n

\"Sage_Moonblood_Sylvester_Stallone\"<\/p>\n

This here\u2019s a classic from Sylvester \u2018don\u2019t push me\u2019 Stallone and his first wife Sasha Czack from the Rambo star’s pre-puffed up plastic surgery face days in the 80s. Also parent to one Seargeoh, Sly, who went on to write the script for Rocky, appears to have named his second son (an actor who appeared with his father in Rocky V and Daylight) after one of his early pen names, Q. Moonblood. Who knows where the Sage part came from? More herbal influence of a kind though.<\/p>\n

Kal-El Coppola born of Nicholas Cage<\/h3>\n

\"Nicholas_Cage_and_Kal-El_Coppola<\/p>\n

Receding Hollywood actor Nicholas Cage showed himself to be the ultimate comic book geek when he named his son Kal-El, which is Superman\u2019s original birth name. We\u2019re not sure whether the other kids in kindergarten would see the cool side of this before giving young Kal-El a few punches in the stomach, just to see if he could retaliate with his legendary superpowers. ‘He’ll be OK as long as they don\u2019t break out the kryptonite,’ Cage is reported to have said. Yeah thanks dad.<\/p>\n

Bluebell Madonna born of Geri Halliwell<\/h3>\n

\"Bluebell_Madonna_and_Geri_Halliwell\"<\/p>\n

Last but by no means least (certainly in voluptuousness stakes), Geri Halliwell, formerly known as Ginger Spice, who decided to name her own bouncing baby Bluebell Madonna. We\u2019re presuming the second part of the name is an ode to our Madge, a real Queen of Pop. Who knows where Bluebell blossomed from? Frankly, who cares? It\u2019s a dumb name. That\u2019s all you need to know.<\/p>\n

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Maybe they really were high at the time, or maybe they simply held too high an opinion of themselves: the sort of arrogance that leads people to believe they\u2019re above messing up the lives of their children \u2013 that the little celebrity mini-me\u2019s couldn\u2019t possibly have their school years ruined by an unrelenting barrage of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6236,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-439445","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/439445","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6236"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=439445"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/439445\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=439445"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=439445"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=439445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}