\nall. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Making the green choice too often feels like a sacrifice or <\/p>\n I call myself a GINK: green inclinations, no kids.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n First, a word for you parents<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Let me get this out of the way up front: I like kids—<\/strong>many <\/p>\n If being a parent is something you’ve longed and planned <\/p>\n Of course, you parents and parent wannabes don’t need my <\/p>\n So this post isn’t for you. It’s for the childfree and childfree-curious, who don’t get a lot of encouragement in our society. Parents, keep reading if you like, but <\/p>\n OK, down to business<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Here’s the dirty little secret that we’re never supposed to <\/p>\n Yes, as a childfree person, I’ll miss out on a lot: The <\/p>\n But parents miss out on a lot too (as some will be the first <\/p>\n A childfree life also means a lot more financial <\/p>\n Opting out of childrearing might leave you richer in [I]t probably is true that without <\/p>\n Well, one reason is that although In his 2006 book Stumbling Careful studies of how women feel <\/p>\n None of this should surprise Even firebrand valedictorian Stephanie Mills, who initially … it proved to be a good personal Which isn’t to say she never wonders about her Now that I’m old enough to be a Ultimately, as Mills suggests, life is a series of <\/p>\n The green angle<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Beyond the undisturbed sleep and the gleaming doorknobs, consider the environmental benefits to the childfree life. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n We’re on track to hit a global population of 7 billion <\/p>\n If you consider not just the carbon impact of your own kids <\/p>\n “Many people are unaware of the power of exponential <\/p>\n A person who cares about preserving a livable environment <\/p>\n But even in aggregate, all of these moves don’t <\/p>\n Here’s a simple truth: <\/p>\n Just say it<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Why does it <\/p>\n Those of us who are childfree by choice are in the minority, <\/p>\n Parents talk all the time about the delights and challenges <\/p>\n We childfree people rarely discuss in public the upsides and <\/p>\n If you’re intentionally childfree, how many times have you <\/p>\n Childfree people tread too gingerly around parents, as <\/p>\n What would happen if you answered the kid question <\/p>\n If we said what we really think, I suspect we would actually <\/p>\n Little bundles of (j)oy aren’t for everyone—<\/strong>and it’s time Related Links:<\/strong><\/p>\n Population growth should be curbed, argues Jane Goodall<\/a><\/p>\n New York City gets big reaction to new sex symbol<\/a><\/p>\n
\na hassle or an expense. In this
\ncase, it feels like a luxurious indulgence that just so happens to cost a lot less<\/a> for me and weigh
\na lot less<\/a> on the carbon-bloated atmosphere. <\/p>\n
\nof them, anyway. Some of my best
\nfriends, as they say, are parents.
\nI bear no ill will to procreators, past, present, and prospective. I claim no moral or ethical high
\nground.<\/p>\n
\nfor, or already embarked upon, I respect your choice and I wish you luck. Go forth and raise happy, healthy
\nkids. May they bring you joy and
\nfulfillment, and may they become productive members of society who faithfully
\npay their Social Security taxes. <\/p>\n
\nencouragement—<\/strong>our society supports your decision overwhelmingly. OK, yes, the U.S. lacks paid family
\nleave and universal childcare, not to mention many basic rights for same-sex
\ncouples with children—<\/strong>and we should remedy these shortcomings. But from the tax breaks to the
\ndiscounted airline seats, from the eager grandparents urging you on to the friends,
\ncousins, and complete strangers who ask when the first or next kid is coming, from
\nthe “What to Expect …” empire to the proliferating mommy and daddy
\nblogs, our culture constantly affirms your choice—<\/strong>in many ways, almost
\ndemands it. And, no small matter,
\nour biology does too. <\/p>\n
\nyou have to promise not to tell the rest of us that we’d feel differently if we
\njust had our own! <\/p>\n
\nsay in mixed company: There are a lot of perks to childfree living, not to
\nmention a lot of green good that comes from bringing fewer beings onto a
\npolluted and crowded planet.<\/p>\n
\nmiracle of childbirth (though, truth be told, I don’t feel so bad about
\nskipping that one). The
\nhilariously perceptive things that only kids say. A respectable excuse for rereading the Harry Potter
\nseries. The hope that my kid will
\nbe smarter and cooler and better looking than I ever was. More boisterous holiday
\ncelebrations. Someone to carry on
\nthe family name (assuming I won the arm-wrestling match with my partner over
\nwhose name the kid would actually get). Maybe even the satisfaction of helping a child grow into a
\nwell-educated, well-adjusted adult, and the peace of mind of knowing there’s
\nsomeone to take care of me in my old age. <\/p>\n
\nto tell you): Time and emotional energy to invest in friendships and a romantic
\npartnership. Space to focus on a
\ncareer or education or avocation.
\nUninterrupted “grown-up” conversations. Travel that’s truly impulsive or
\nleisurely or adventurous (and never involves zoos). Unpremeditated Saturday nights on the town and Sunday
\nbrunches out. Opportunities for
\npolitical or community engagement.
\nStretches of quiet for reading or writing or relaxing. A non-child-proofed, non-toy-strewn,
\nnon-goldfish-cracker-crumb-riddled home.
\nEight peaceful, uninterrupted hours of sleep a night. All without any guilt that one should
\nbe spending more quality time with the kid. <\/p>\n
\nfreedom. How expensive are
\nkids? Try $291,570 for a child
\nborn in 2008 to parents bringing home between
\n$57,000 and $98,000 a year, according to figures from the USDA.
\nThat’s for the first 18 years, so it doesn’t include college. If you make more, you’re likely to spend more. Couples bringing in upwards of $98,000
\na year can expect to spend an average of $483,750 on a child’s first 18
\nyears. (Dig into the
\nnumbers yourself<\/a> [PDF] for all the caveats and conditions.)<\/p>\n
\nhappiness too, as Harvard psychology professor and happiness expert Daniel
\nGilbert recently told NPR<\/a>:<\/p>\n
\nchildren, your marriage might be happier in the sense that you would report
\nmore daily satisfaction. People
\nare surprised to find this, because they value and love their children above
\nall things. How can my children
\nnot be a source of great happiness?<\/p>\n
\nchildren are a source of happiness, they tend to crowd out other sources of
\nhappiness. So people who have a
\nfirst child often find in the first year or two that they’re not doing many of
\nthe other things that used to make them happy. They don’t go to the movies or the theater. They don’t go out with their
\nfriends. They don’t make love with
\ntheir spouse.<\/p>\n
\non Happiness<\/a>, Gilbert offers more on
\nthis topic:<\/p>\n
\nas they go about their daily activities show that they are less happy when
\ntaking care of their children than when eating, exercising, shopping, napping,
\nor watching television. Indeed
\nlooking after the kids appears to be only slightly more pleasant than doing
\nhousework.<\/p>\n
\nus. Every parent knows that
\nchildren are a lot of work—a lot of really hard work—and although parenting has many rewarding
\nmoments, the vast majority of its moments involve dull and selfless service to
\npeople who will take decades to become even begrudgingly grateful for what we
\nare doing. <\/p>\n
\nconsidered her decision not to have children a sacrifice, now writes<\/a>:<\/p>\n
\nchoice. I am cussedly independent and I love my solitude and freedom. … Other
\nwomen, I know, have been able to combine demanding vocations with
\nmotherhood. Given my particular
\nnature, the responsibility and distraction of childrearing most likely would
\nhave prevented me from pursuing my work as a writer, which has been immensely
\nrewarding …<\/p>\n
\ndecision: <\/p>\n
\ngrandmother, I sometimes wish that I had a granddaughter to commune with, but I
\nam friends with some spectacular young people and can learn from them as well
\nas pass along whatever wisdom I’ve developed. That will have to do.<\/p>\n
\ntradeoffs. By choosing not to have
\nkids, some doors are closed to you, but others are open—<\/strong>and they don’t have
\nsticky doorknobs. <\/p>\n
\npeople next
\nyear<\/a> or the year
\nafter<\/a>—<\/strong>3 billion more than when Mills got all riled up four decades
\nago. We’ve spewed enough
\ngreenhouse gases into the atmosphere to push it past the safe point, which many
\nclimate scientists agree is 350
\nparts carbon dioxide per million<\/a>; we’re already at about 390 and rising
\nfast. And Americans are among the
\nmost carbon-intensive people on earth.
\nThe average American generates about 66 times more CO2 each year than
\nthe average Bangladeshi—<\/strong>20
\ntons versus 0.3 tons<\/a>.<\/p>\n
\nbut of your kids’ kids and so on, the numbers get even starker. According to a 2009 study
\nin Global Environmental Change<\/a> [PDF] that took into account the
\nlong-term impact of Americans’ descendants, each child adds an estimated 9,441
\nmetric tons of CO2 to a parent’s carbon legacy—<\/strong>that’s about 5.7 times his or her direct lifetime emissions.<\/p>\n
\npopulation growth,” said
\nstudy coauthor Paul Murtaugh<\/a>, a professor of statistics at Oregon State
\nUniversity. “Future growth
\namplifies the consequences of people’s reproductive choices today, the same way
\nthat compound interest amplifies a bank balance.” (To take an extreme example,
\ncompare childfree me with Yitta Schwartz of Monroe, N.Y., who died this year at
\nthe age of 93, leaving
\nbehind an estimated 2,000 descendants<\/a>.) <\/p>\n
\nhas lots of options for doing her bit, and you’ve heard all about them: live in
\nan energy-efficient home in a walkable neighborhood; bike or walk or take
\npublic transit when possible; drive an efficient car if you drive one at all;
\nfly less; go veg; buy organic and local; limit purchases of consumer goods;
\nswitch to CFLs or LEDs; slay your vampires<\/a>;
\noffset carbon emissions; vote for climate-concerned candidates, and hold them
\naccountable for their campaign promises.<\/p>\n
\ncome close<\/a> to the impact of not bringing new human beings—<\/strong>particularly
\nnew Americans—<\/strong>into the world. <\/p>\n
\nFor an average person like me—<\/strong>someone who doesn’t have the ability of
\nan Al Gore to reach millions, or of a Nancy Pelosi to advance (if not actually
\nenact) landmark environmental legislation, or of a Van
\nJones<\/a> to inspire (and piss off) whole new audiences—<\/strong>the single most
\nmeaningful contribution I can make to a cleaner, greener world is to not have children.<\/p>\n
\nfeel almost audacious to articulate all of this? <\/p>\n
\nbut if you judged by the public discourse about our lifestyle, you’d think we
\nwere practically nonexistent. <\/p>\n
\nof raising kids, to other parents and to all the rest of us, and I don’t begrudge
\nthem that. <\/p>\n
\ndownsides of life without kids—<\/strong>and that’s what needs to change. <\/p>\n
\nbeen asked, “So, when are you going to have children?” and mumbled a
\nless-than-candid reply: “Oh, I’m not sure,” or “Well, it just
\nmight not happen for us,” or “Maybe someday …” when what you
\nreally mean is “Never.”<\/p>\n
\nthough we might wound their feelings if we told the truth about why we’ve made
\ndifferent decisions than they have. But we insult them by thinking they’re so
\nfragile or insecure about their family choices—<\/strong>and we shortchange ourselves
\nand society at large by not speaking openly about the legitimate choice to not
\nhave a child. <\/p>\n
\nhonestly? “No, I’m happy with
\nmy life as is,” or “A child doesn’t fit into our life plans,” or
\n“Kids aren’t really my thing,” or “I think there are plenty of
\npeople on the planet already.” <\/p>\n
\nfind a lot of kindred or at least sympathetic spirits out there, GINKs and
\notherwise. We might have some
\nrefreshingly frank and gratifying conversations with the parents in our
\nlives. And we could give those who
\nare undecided about parenthood the understanding that the choice to be
\nchildfree is completely valid, and not completely lonely.<\/p>\n
\nwe said so out loud. <\/p>\n