UPDATE:<\/strong> Happy April Fools’ Day!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Q. Dear Umbra,<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n I just finished drinking a soda—actually, I still have a sip or two left but wanted to go ahead and email <\/p>\n Your friend,<\/strong> <\/strong> <\/p>\n A. Dearest Mark and all my beloved readers,<\/p>\n In order to further the mission of one of my many mantras, “reduce, reuse, <\/p>\n Nap timely, <\/p>\n Q. Dear Umbra,<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n What’s the deal with the climate <\/p>\n Thanks,<\/strong> <\/p>\n A. Dearest A.C.,<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Here you go<\/a>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Lazily, <\/p>\n Q. Dear Umbra,<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Long-time reader, first-time <\/p>\n Sincerely, <\/p>\n A. Dearest Jesse,<\/p>\n <\/p>\n You’re welcome<\/a>. Or there’s this one<\/a>. Take your pick.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Bonne chance-ly<\/a>, Related Links:<\/strong><\/p>\n McDonald’s responds to April Fools’ story (via Twitter)<\/a><\/p>\n McDonald’s scraps composting program because food won’t decompose<\/a><\/p>\n What to make of the Pollan\/Schlosser agreement with Wendy’s?<\/a><\/p>\n
\nyou, so I’d have an answer by the time I finish it. What should I do when the
\ncan is empty? Yes, I know I can just recycle it, but it’s really not my style
\nto take such an easy way out. I’m more of a road-less-traveled kind of guy. Should I bury it? Fill it with water and drop
\nin a couple goldfish? Lambast myself for having bought a soda in the first
\nplace? Cut it into tiny pieces and decoupage a lamp?<\/strong><\/p>\n
Zack M.
Bayside, Calif.<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nrecycle,” I’ve decided it’s high time I reduce the number of words I use in this
\ncolumn and the amount of time I spend on the Internet, phone, and out in the
\nfield hunting and gathering for information to answer your queries. Thusly, I’m
\nopting to henceforth condense my responses to a simple link, which will answer
\nall your burning questions. So for you, dear Mark, cliquez
\nici<\/a> for your answer. More
\ninfo for you, more shuteye in the stacks for me.<\/p>\n
Umbra<\/p>\n
\nbill? <\/strong><\/p>\n
A.C.
Slaterville, Utah<\/strong><\/p>\n
Umbra<\/p>\n
\nwriter here. I get really anxious whenever I go to the bathroom, even to just
\nblow my nose, because I know I’m going to be using toilet paper, water (to
\nflush the toilet and wash my hands), soap (hand washing), and paper towels
\n(hand drying). It all just seems so wasteful. What can I do to alleviate my
\nanxiety? <\/strong><\/p>\n
<\/strong>Jesse S.
Belding, Mich.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Umbra<\/p>\n