![\"steadman\"](\"http:\/\/magazine.nd.edu\/assets\/23239\/steadman.jpg\" "\\"steadman\\"")
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Today is Tuesday. My son isn\u2019t wearing underwear.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, why aren\u2019t you wearing underwear?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMom, it\u2019s Tuesday.\u201d<\/p>\n
Right. Once again forcing me to recognize that there is no way any woman I can respect is ever going to marry my son.<\/p>\n
When I was a project manager in my prior life, our firm had us do this leadership thing where our managers and staff filled out something called an upwards evaluation. One day, sitting at my desk reading the results of this survey, I realized my managers thought I was micromanager. I was shocked.<\/p>\n
I immediately got on my high horse and rode over to my managers\u2019 cubicles and asked them, \u201cDo you think I micromanage?\u201d At this point Zach started laughing so hard he spit Starbucks all over his work papers and Mike just about fell out of his chair.<\/p>\n
So with the knowledge of my control-freak management style, when I became a mother I made a conscious effort not to micromanage. I didn\u2019t want to be an overbearing parent whose kids go bonkers with new-found freedom as soon as they go to college.<\/p>\n
I want to be a parent who exerts just the right amount of control to provide structure and discipline but allows for freedom of expression and respect for the individual. I quickly found it\u2019s not that easy to do.<\/p>\n
My 3-year old routinely shows up to dinner without pants on. Now, before we say grace I ask, \u201cIs everyone wearing pants?\u201d If the answer is yes, then we ask for God\u2019s blessings on these thy gifts. If not, then I do demand that she go upstairs and put underwear on, and there I am crushing her expressions of freedom. I\u2019m not respecting the individual who prefers to eat dinner without wearing pants.<\/p>\n
But here\u2019s the thing. I think my children should wear underwear at the dinner table and also on Tuesdays. That\u2019s my rule. And all that stuff about exercising just the right amount of control is going right down the laundry chute with the rest of the dirty laundry.<\/p>\n
Except with underwear, our family seems to have a problem getting it to go down the laundry chute.<\/p>\n
\u201cWilliam, why are your dirty underwear in the middle of the stairs?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you told me to take them off my head.\u201d<\/p>\n
Now, when I tell my son to take his underwear off his head because it\u2019s not safe to walk down the stairs when you can\u2019t see, I find myself back on my high horse micromanaging as I tell him,<\/p>\n
\u201cTake the underwear off your head, walk five steps up the stairs, turn left, open the bathroom closet door, open the laundry chute, put the dirty underwear in the laundry chute, close the chute gently, do not let it slam hard enough to set off the burglar alarm, turn around, exit the bathroom without singing any songs about the potty or your recently composed ‘I\u2019ve Got Underwear on My Head’ song, because I don\u2019t want to hear it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Unless it\u2019s Tuesday. On Tuesdays you take your underwear and put it on your body.<\/p>\n