![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.popcrunch.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/01.jpg\" "\\"01\\"")
<\/p>\nThere are as many different types of boobs as there are shapes of women, and let\u2019s face it \u2014 some shapes are nicer than others. While it\u2019s true that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, when it comes to cleavage there are just some lines that must be drawn when a woman steps in front of a camera; it\u2019s a harsh reality of life, after all. Without further ado, these are the 15 worst kinds of boobs \u2014 get to know your enemy.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n Nothing could be more terrifying than a hideous pair of bolt-ons<\/em> suddenly appearing in your face as you\u2019re minding your own business at the local 80\u2019s night \u2014 except maybe seeing them at an awards show. One thing\u2019s for certain here; while it\u2019s true that money can buy just about anything these days, including fake breasts, Victoria Beckham has proven that it can\u2019t buy common sense.<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n Saggers<\/em> are often cited as being every girl\u2019s secret fear, which in the end is often realized due to the natural process of aging. In certain cases, saggers make their debut at an early age \u2014 and usually on women who don\u2019t seem to realize the fact. Saggers don\u2019t necessarily have to be large to earn the moniker, and be sure not to mistake a pair of saggers for pancakes<\/strong>. The problem with saggers is that they simply don\u2019t make an effort to stay where you put them, and they certainly don\u2019t belong in public spaces without a good bra.<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n Every kid learns at an early age, much to their surprise and befuddlement, that a girl\u2019s pair of girls aren\u2019t ever exactly the same. One is always larger than the other \u2014 it\u2019s just usually by an amount so trivial that it can hardly be quantified. In extreme cases of cup-size disparity, you get the tipped scale<\/em>. More socially savvy women who happen to be afflicted with this nuisance tend to pad a cup to balance things out, but some girls just go commando and wind up as examples in the blogosphere.<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n Some people like to think that a good bra can cover anything<\/em>, but with a pair of glass-cutters like these things mounted up front and center, it\u2019s difficult to imagine just keeping a wardrobe without holes worn through every piece. The perpetual nipples aren\u2019t just unsightly and embarrassing though \u2014 they\u2019re potentially dangerous, too. It only takes one of them to put an eye out in the wrong situation.<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n Not to be confused with saggers<\/strong>, the pancakes tend to be most evident on girls who are often told to eat something before they die of malnutrition<\/em>. Pancake boobies are like fossils or ancient ruins \u2014 they\u2019re evidence that there was once cleavage where there are now only sad, flappy, forgotten bags of nothingness.<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n We like to call these widow makers<\/em> because of their obvious potential to suffocate would-be victims of a smothering hug-attack by the wearers. We say would-be<\/em> because the odds of a girl sporting these monsters of modern medicine ever snagging a man are worse than winning the lottery.<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a> and Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n The wreck<\/em> is quite literal, since it\u2019s usually due to a botched plastic surgery, and most closely resembles body-damage from a car wreck. Unlike a car wreck, botched plastic surgery is often irreparable, and let\u2019s face it \u2014 a dented boob is quite a bit more unsightly than a dented bumper.<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n Prepubescent boys will ogle and lust after the anime special<\/em>, but once they grow old enough to realize what things like \u201cpoor taste\u201d and \u201csad pathetic attempts to feel more beautiful\u201d are, they learn that there is<\/em> such a thing as being proportional<\/em>. Women who have this done to themselves are generally on the lower end of the porn-industry\u2019s totem pole, but there are some pretty notable exceptions.<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n Calling girls who are flatter than boards Justin Biebers<\/em> may seem a bit mean, but let\u2019s face it, Justin Bieber deserves it. These women spend their entire lives self-conscious of their chestlessness in the starry-eyed belief that someday<\/em> they may actually grow breasts. Sadly for them (and us) that doesn\u2019t usually happen without surgical intervention, but every so often, one of them grows up to become a Hollywood starlet.<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n Migrators<\/em> may start out in a fairly standard placement in the morning, but they tend to go wherever they please as the day goes on. Women with migrators are usually the type to shun their bras, and even worse, think they have extremely desirable cleavage and try their best to show it off to as many souls as possible. Some people may also refer to these wandering nomads as \u201cdrifters.\u201d<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a> and Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n Alongside the dreaded bolt-ons<\/em>, the uniboob<\/em> is quite possibly one of the most frightening and emotionally disconcerting sights to which anyone can be exposed, period. Uniboobs are a genetic oddity, much unlike the more ubiquitous unibrow<\/em>. While it\u2019s possibly for a girl to be born with these things, it\u2019s much more likely that when you see it, you\u2019re seeing the erred judgment of a girl who couldn\u2019t afford a good plastic surgeon.<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n Balloons<\/em> happen when a woman, on a misguided quest through Breast Augmentation Land, arrives at the point where she officially has the anime special<\/em> and decides that it\u2019s simply not enough. When a woman has breasts so outlandishly bulbous that they make small children think that the woman may actually float away, the woman has failed<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n The Grand Canyon is one of America\u2019s most celebrated natural wonders. It\u2019s also a great name for a pair of ta-tas that are perennially miles apart<\/strong>. Women with the Grand Canyon<\/em> are almost always deluded enough to think that they actually have some sort of desirable cleavage on their chest, when in reality all they really have is a set of (usually) fake breasts positioned so far apart that they look flat-chested.<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n Another surprisingly literal moniker for a seriously disturbing type of boobage \u2014 the blow-up doll<\/em> occurs when a particularly trashy woman decides that regular breast augmentation just isn\u2019t enough for her control-freak attitude; she needs to be able to pump up<\/em> her assets on a moment\u2019s notice, and what better way to do it than to use an actual pump? Women who go this far have to be able to live comfortably with nozzles<\/strong> on the sides of their fake breasts, as well as the fact that no man will ever want to touch or look directly at them again.<\/p>\n Image Source<\/a><\/p>\n Last but not least; since, after all, breasts are aren\u2019t just a female feature, but mammalian<\/em> one, are moobs<\/strong>. Moobs are both dreaded and celebrated (celebrated when spotted in hilarious ironic glory at a public swimming pool, dreaded in every other circumstance), and from a purely numerical standpoint, are likely far more prevalent in today\u2019s society than every other type of horrifyingly bad breasts on this list. Unlike the other breasts on this list, moobs are easily corrected with diet and exercise, as they can most often be attributed to a combination of fast food and World of Warcraft<\/em>.<\/p>\nThe Saggers<\/h3>\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/celebcrowd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/victoria-beckham-in-rome-with-a-busty-dress-that-is-super-sexy-photo-image.jpg\" "\\"The")
<\/p>\nThe Tipped Scale<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\nThe Perpetual Nipples<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\nThe Pancakes<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\nThe Widow Makers<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\nThe Wreck<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\nThe Anime Special<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\nThe Justin Bieber<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\nThe Migrators<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\nThe Uniboob<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\nThe Balloons<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\nThe Grand Canyon<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\nThe Blow-Up Doll<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\nMoobs<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\n
![Image Source<\/a> and](\"http:\/\/www.datzhott.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/vivica-foxx.jpg\"){kind=link}