![\"Touch\"](\"http:\/\/i247.photobucket.com\/albums\/gg158\/MDA2008\/MDA2009\/Touch.jpg\" "\\"Touch\\"")
The largest organ on our body is the skin. Its protective layers guard our muscles, bones, internal organs, and ligaments, while its active function results in the most fundamental of our five senses \u2013 that of touch. For all our focus on maintaining optimal organ function through diet, exercise, and lifestyle, could it be that we\u2019re neglecting the organ that figures most prominently in our daily, direct communion with the material world?<\/p>\n
I know that it\u2019s awfully easy for me to go several days without real, meaningful physical contact with another human when I\u2019m on the road promoting the book or giving a talk. Oh, sure, there are handshakes and incidental shoulder brushes and maybe even the occasional fist bump, but it\u2019s not the same. I miss my wife and kids. You can\u2019t exactly hug total strangers (nor would you really want to) or even business associates. When I\u2019m away from my family and close friends, I realize just how ubiquitous our self-made, imaginary personal bubbles have become.<\/strong> We all walk around with them. This world is getting more crowded every day, and yet we\u2019re somehow able to maneuver through it without so much as touching a single person unless we\u2019re crammed into a train or city street. And still, even in those situations, people are loathe to make contact with one another, even ocular, and we manage to avoid most of it.<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n Take the phrase \u201ctouchy feely,\u201d for example. What imagery does it conjure? Positive?<\/strong> Its literal definition is \u201cmarked by or emphasizing physical closeness and emotional openness,\u201d but the phrase originates as an epithet. Because language is an organic thing, a reflection of its users and their society, and because the phrase is exclusively uttered from a position of discomfort with the idea of touching or being touched, \u201ctouchy feely\u201d arises from a society diametrically opposed to physical contact and touch. Men who can\u2019t bring themselves to hug their fathers or male friends without feeling physically ill (or, worse, that they might \u201ccatch the gay\u201d); young men and women unable to separate honest affection from sexual attention; kids who spend their formative years touching the cold hard plastic of an XBox controller or remote control without developing nary a scrape, bruise, or welt from physical contact with peers; entire families that text, chat, or email to communicate, even when living under the same roof \u2013 this is the legacy of our apparently social revulsion to touch and physical closeness.<\/p>\n It starts with infants, of course.<\/strong> Many babies, upon being born, are instantly whisked away for checkups, tests, and to \u201clet the mother rest.\u201d It seems odd that in that most crucial of windows, where the mother-child post-womb relationship is in its infancy, many kids don\u2019t even get to see their mothers. Instead, they\u2019re in some room with some stranger having weird things done to them.<\/p>\n The first sense infants develop in the womb is touch, and when they\u2019re born, touch is the most pre-attuned sense, whereas stuff like sight and taste take months to fully develop. A just-born infant, I would argue, needs<\/em> to be with its mother, needs to feel her warmth (and she the baby\u2019s), needs to indulge the only viable sense available at the moment. I imagine that initial (and in the wild, unavoidable and inevitable) physical closeness between mammalian mother and mammalian child is the foundation for the rest of the child\u2019s life. It sets the stage, so to speak. I\u2019m reminded of that old cartoon trope, where a baby bird hatches and latches onto the first creature it sees as its mother, even if that creature is Sylvester the cat licking his chops. There\u2019s probably some truth to that. A child\u2019s born and, if nature has dictated, that child is in immediate intimate contact with mom. Maybe those first few moments are more crucial than we think. Maybe the lack of physical contact between newborn and new mother reverberates through life, setting the stage for an adult with a mild distaste for human touch. You populate half of society with folks who were never really touched as children, who never really learned the essential importance of touch, and maybe you get what we have now. I’m speculating here, of course.<\/p>\n But we do know that animals touch each other all the time. It’s the Primal way. Young monkeys and apes cling to mothers\u2019 backs. Social grooming is a staple of many animals\u2019 lives. It\u2019s utilitarian, because not all animals can completely clean themselves (we\u2019ve all got hard to reach places) alone, but it also reinforces social structure and interpersonal relationships. <\/strong>Older apes groom each other, and this grooming affects endorphin levels<\/a>. Wolf packs sleep together. Kangaroo kids hang out in that famous pouch. Or how about pets? Dogs will nuzzle and lick their masters and cats will head butt you and curl up in your lap and meow until you relent and offer your hand. It\u2019s almost like touch is a requirement of animals; they crave and need it.<\/p>\n Do we?<\/p>\n Well, we\u2019re animals, too. I\u2019m a firm believer in listening to our bodies and to our instincts. They exist for a reason, our instincts, and though we shouldn\u2019t surrender completely to their rule, we can use them as subtle indications of what might work best. These instincts might be muted in us big brains, but we\u2019re animals. If they \u2013 especially the mammals, like us \u2013 yearn for touch, maybe there\u2019s something to it. Maybe we need it, too.<\/p>\n Besides, despite all the New Age talk of energy fields and the power of touch, we know that people who have loved ones<\/a> to touch on a regular basis live longer, happier lives. People who have sex on a regular basis<\/a> also live happier, longer lives. It\u2019s not mystical or magical; it\u2019s practical. You touch people and have sex when you\u2019re comfortable and happy with the person you\u2019re touching. Happy people are, ahem, happier. Happy people live longer<\/a>, and even if they didn\u2019t, they\u2019re happy, and that\u2019s arguably the whole point of sentient existence. You\u2019ve heard of companion animals, right? They improve the health and longevity of their owners<\/a> (PDF), especially the widows, supposedly because of the added companionship and touching\/petting that goes on. There have been studies (having a tough time finding this one) where lab rabbits with terminal cancer living on the bottom row of the cages live longer than rabbits with cancer who live in higher cages. The only difference between the top and bottom row rabbits being that lab assistants handled the rabbits in the bottom cages more during feeding. When you\u2019re dying of terminal cancer in a metal cage, I\u2019ll bet you begin to really look forward to those few seconds of chin scratches each day.<\/p>\n I will say that things seem to be changing.<\/strong> When you watch old episodes of \u201cThe Tonight Show,\u201d it\u2019s all handshakes between Johnny Carson and his guests. It\u2019s very formal, whereas now the male guests typically hug the host. And in sports, ironically the most stereotypically hypermasculine arena, there\u2019s a ton <\/em>of physical contact between teammates. Butt slapping, high fives, chest bumps, team huddles \u2013 it\u2019s all a huge display of men and women incredibly comfortable with the idea of physical touch. There was even a recent study mentioned in ESPN Magazine<\/em> that noted the prevalence of high fives and chest bumps and other physical contact in pro basketball. The Cleveland Cavaliers, holders of the best record in the NBA this season (though now trounced from the playoffs), touch each other more than any other team in the league, while the teams with losing records tend to touch less. Do they touch less because they\u2019re losing, or do they lose because they touch less and lack cohesion? Who knows, but the scientists in the article theorized that the high rate of touch definitely has something to do with it.<\/p>\n Still, though, we\u2019ve got a lot of work to do. We need to integrate touch into our lives, not in some formal, creepy way, like organizing community grooming or hugging sessions, but in a healthy, normal, organic manner. <\/strong>When your kid comes home bleeding and bleating from some mishap, try offering a hug instead of immediately going for the bandages and antiseptic. Hug your friend next time you see him or her. Massage your significant other, just for the heck of it. Ladies, randomly slip your hand under his shirt and scratch his back (trust me, we love it). Pet your dog\/cat\/rat\/rabbit. When you meet someone, maybe try going for the double hand clasp, or even the medieval forearm clasp. Tousle some scruffy street urchin\u2019s mop-head next time he\u2019s hawking newspapers on the corner.<\/p>\n A dog trainer friend of mine taught me a cool trick once: when your dog is anxious, upset, or otherwise freaking out at something, pull on its neck scruff. This immediately soothes the animal, because it\u2019s exactly what mother dogs do to pups \u2013 they carry them around by the scruff of their necks, and adult dogs still make that subconscious connection. I\u2019m thinking the same holds true for humans. Why wouldn\u2019t it? How do you console a grieving friend who\u2019s just lost their father? You hug them. It\u2019s your first reaction and theirs, too. They go for the hug to feel better and you open your arms. How do you soothe a crying child? With hugs and caressing. What changes between childhood and adulthood that renders this treatment ineffective? Why do we console a crying adult with nervous, awkward silence and averted eyes (or powerful medicine)? Those same physiological reactions that soothe the child might just play out in the adult, too. It\u2019s not as if our hormones stop working or we stop enjoying the soothing touch of a loved one just because we have the ability to reproduce and legally drink alcohol.<\/p>\n It\u2019s in these powerful, incredibly painful moments of trauma that we reconnect with our animal instincts and the walls of social grace or personal hang-ups come crashing down \u2013 and we relent to interpersonal touch. We submit, because its draw is inexorable and the relief it offers is instantaneous. There\u2019s that famous saying, \u201cNo atheists in foxholes.\u201d What about \u201cNo emotional stoics when personal tragedy strikes\u201d? It doesn\u2019t quite have the same easy grace about it, but I think it works.<\/p>\n We should work on touch, folks. We shouldn\u2019t need tragedy to touch each other. We should give in to our Primal urge to touch as a way to connect with others in a meaningful way and to express joy, not just counteract misery.<\/strong><\/p>\n Let me know what you think in the comment board and thanks for reading. <\/strong><\/p>\n Related posts:<\/p>\n The largest organ on our body is the skin. Its protective layers guard our muscles, bones, internal organs, and ligaments, while its active function results in the most fundamental of our five senses \u2013 that of touch. For all our focus on maintaining optimal organ function through diet, exercise, and lifestyle, could it be that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-570341","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/570341","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=570341"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/570341\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=570341"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=570341"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mereja.media\/index\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=570341"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Get Free Health Tips, Recipes and Workouts<\/a> Delivered to Your Inbox<\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/h4>\n
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