I have said it before. I never thought it would happen to me. Yet here I am…about three months away from my 30th wedding anniversary and I am about to be divorced. There won’t be a 30th wedding anniversary. At least not for us.
Having been deeply involved in a church that is full of long term marriage this was a shock. It wasn’t what I wanted nor what I expected. And I found out that even your long time friends are affected by the phenomena I like to call “Divorce Cooties”. You know, you finally look up from the ground where you are laying with your teeth kicked in – take a deep breath – and look around to find that you are staring at the backs of almost everyone you ever trusted as they scamper away lest they be tainted by your divorce cooties.
People grill your children. Near strangers ask you odd, personal questions and express a little too much criticism for how you are handling things. God forbid, don’t meet anyone else and begin to glue your life back together. Then you get to glue a scarlet A to your chest and change your name to Hester Prynne…. even if you are being as virginal as a 90 year old nun.
Frustrating? Yes.
On the other hand my kids are handling things just fine despite the voiced concerns of people who really haven’t bothered to talk to them. Far from pining away they are working through their hurt, grief and other emotions in a healthy way. We all are. One of the benefits of keeping those lines of communication open is that you really do communicate.
We are handling this the way any healthy group would handle anything. We talk, we cry, we laugh, we yell, we talk more. Together. And truly, we will get over this… we will get past it..and we will be stronger, better, more compassionate people because of it.
Are you going through divorce? Do you know someone who is? How are you handling the emotions? Are you experiencing the Divorce Cooties Syndrome?
image:SXC
Post from: Blisstree