I have done a lot of interviews in my blogging/writing career but this one is sort of special. In fact, I may do this a little more often because this interview is with my 17 year old son, Matt.
That's a root beer, seriously.
When I was trying to decide what to write I was talking ot him about his friends, what their issues are, and what their frustrations are and it occured to me that it would be a great interview. So, here it is, an impromptu interview with my son about teenagers and parents.
Me:So, Matt what do you feel is the biggest stress facing teenagers today?
Matt: I think, among the kids I know, it is the parents being over-controlling.
Me: In what way are they over-controlling? How could they (the parents ) handle it differently?
Matt: The top three areas would be:
- Not letting kids dress/look the way they want to
- Not wanting kids to try things that are new (to the parent)
- Not letting kids spend time with their friends
Me:But how could the parents handle it differently?
Matt: Teenagers are going to gripe and complain because thats what they do. No matter how good or bad their lives are they are going to find something to complain about. It is part of growing up and separating from your family. Parents need to build better communication.
Me: How do they do that?
Matt: Parents need to be willing to do activities with their kids that the kid wants to do. Too often the parent wants to spend time with the kid doing what the parent likes. If you really want to get to know you teen you need to hang out with them and share their life to an extent. They need to be open to new ideas and not be closed minded.
Me: So, how about if there is a disagreement on how a teenager should handle something? Let’s say…. the teenager wants to dye theiur hair blue. How can that be handled without causing a rift in the relationship?
Matt: SO, my question to the parent would be “Is it really gonna hurt your kid to have their hair dyed blue?” Because whether the parent likes it or not, dying their hair blue is not going to hurt them. You may NOT want to be seen in public with them but they won’t be hurt and will grow out of it eventually. If you have real problems with it then you need to look inside yourself to see why you have problems with it. Make sure it’s clear why you don’t want them to dye there hair. If you have a good reason, and not just what people think, then you should share your feelings.
Me: When do you feel is the best time to communicate with a teenager?
Matt:Talk to them when there is time to relax and talk. Not when they just get up or are on their way to go do something. Most communication problems are from lack of clarity. The teen says one thing and the parent hears something else and vice versa.
Me: Thanks Matt!
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There you have it…communication ideas from the horse’s mouth so to speak. My son is a thoughtful teenager, and I am proud of him. We don’t agree on everything but most always can find ways to respect eachother’s opinions.
image: marye audet
Post from: Blisstree