Today it is an honor to have Betsy Wuebker, from Passing Thru, here to touch upon some of the challenging relationships we might have had (or currently are having) in our lives.
I've known Betsy for quite some time. Being she's a neighbor to the west of me (she claims Minnesota as her home) – our conversations tend to be around Wisconsin life, Minnesota life, and football rivalries! And during this time, I've also come to really appreciate her sense of adventure for life, and the wonderful way she weaves that, through photos and words, into special memories on her site.
Betsy has recently worked together with Lori Hoeck, from Think Like a Black Belt, to release a free e-book on narcissism. Today, she is here introducing this, and discussing what that can mean in the relationships we are in.
photo credit: nathansnider
"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." ~ Annie Dillard
Thank you, Lance. It’s an honor and a pleasure to be posting on The Jungle of Life today. The post I enjoyed the most recently was the lovely anniversary tribute to your bride of sixteen years. The photo of younger Lora and Lance, looking directly into their future, and your walk down memory lane was so very lovely. Thank you for sharing with all of us!
When we are asked about what comprises a meaningful life, we’re likely to respond along similar lines of “loving commitments and positive relationships.” Yet, at one point or another, most of us find ourselves in situations that are decidedly less than positive. Whether they occur at work, school, church, or within the circle of family or friendship, the effects of dealing with difficult, overpowering people can be emotionally devastating. When we find ourselves involved with especially toxic people and situations, escaping so that we can replace love and joy in our lives can quickly seem difficult and even impossible.
Lori Hoeck of Think Like a Black Belt and I found that we had remarkably similar experiences with toxic relationships in our individual pasts. We were amazed that we had responded to these influences in much the same way. We had observed, examined and analyzed in an effort to find out what was “wrong,” looking for answers within ourselves. We had been attacked, wounded, and in emotional survival mode, dealing with a wickedly charismatic individual who consistently reminded us of just how unworthy we were. We came to realize is that there is a predator out there. It’s the narcissist.
Not all denizens in The Jungle of Life are nice. Some are downright dangerous. In The Narcissist: A User’s Guide, our new e-book, Lori and I have written a handbook that will help you tune your senses. This guide may assist you in making sense of a bewildering, painful relationship you’ve had in the past, or even one that you’re currently dealing with.
The Guide provides an organized way of sizing up a situation. In the section on identifying a narcissist, we’ve outlined tell-tale characteristics and behaviors so that you will come to know common indicators. Then, rather than stop right there and abruptly abandon you to your own devices like so many self-help references do, we give you the tools to assert your rights, and begin anew on your own terms.
In the Guide, we tell you, “An accomplished narcissist isn’t just a control freak or an egomaniac.” Instead, we inform you why a narcissist must constantly assert superiority at your expense, what creates a narcissistic personality, and why involvement with a narcissist can hurt you. We look at the macabre dance of co-dependency that the narcissist seeks with a potential enabler: you.
Some of us rationalize the situations in which we find ourselves. “It’s family, after all.” “I need the salary.” We may believe we just have to “suck it up.” We show you how you can cut off the source of narcissistic supply that will cause this predator to hunt elsewhere, away from you and those who may entrust you with their care. Some of us never saw the situation coming. We teach you how to avoid future encounters with self-awareness and vigilance.
Here’s what others have to say about The Narcissist: A User’s Guide:
I can't say enough about this book! This was an eye-opening read! The Narcissist: A User’s Guide is powerfully candid, well written and beautifully designed. It is an empowering contribution to the field of personal development. – Davina Haisell, Crimson Compass Life Coaching
I've just had a chance to read the e-book and it is FABULOUS! Thanks so much for writing this and sharing it freely! – Pace Smith, Freak Revolution
Having spent a large part of my life surrounded by narcissists, it is easy to see the remarkable value in Narcissist: A User's Guide. I wish I'd read this in my teens, then again in my 20's. Having the skills to easily spot and then avoid a narcissist and their evil magnetism is an essential life skill that applies to everyone. – Cindy Platt, Educator, Children Write the Future
Traveling your path with awareness and confidence is a practice you can develop. Making accurate assessments is a skill you need to keep yourself and those you love safe from harm’s way. But first you have to realize who you’re dealing with, what they’re capable of, and how you can circumvent the danger of an extended encounter. The Narcissist: A User’s Guide could be as valuable as your compass in mapping out your journeys through The Jungle of Life.
Download your copy here – it’s free!
You can keep up with Betsy by subscribing to her blog – Passing Thru, and following her on Twitter.