You Want Me to Drink What?

I am admittedly not the trendiest girl around.  I don’t have designer shoes or a luxury car or get my hair blown out.  Actually, where I live getting your hair blown out means you drove with a window open, but I don’t do that much either.  The NYC crowd would have a field day with how un-cool I am with my suburban clothes and addiction to Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee.  I am about as mainstream as they come, and for this I am generally unapologetic.  It’s who I am and I’m OK with that.

Although un-hip, I am quite interested in doing things to keep myself and my family healthy.  I try mightily to get my children to willingly eat vegetables. I don’t cook red meat. I choose fresh ingredients rather than food-in-a-box whenever possible.  I am embarking on an experiment to be a vegetarian, and I recently gave up caffeine for a month.  I am willing to try new things – within reason.

There was a recent article in the New York Times about the popularity of a fermented tea drink called kombucha.  Apparently this tea can do all kinds of magical things like re-growing hair, calming digestive issues and curing hangovers.  Those who drink it claim that it is quite delish.  Sounds good, right?  I’m in! I could be the first one in the suburbs to partake of this delightful elixir!  How do I get it?

This is where things get a little hairy for me.  Because kombucha is made by immersing a disk of bacteria into brewed tea and letting it sit, unrefrigerated, for up to two weeks.

A disk of bacteria.

In your tea.

On purpose.

I am so not down with that.

I understand the benefits of probiotics.  I eat yogurt (from the refrigerator, thank you very much).  But, I have to admit that I wouldn’t even drink the plain tea if it sat out for two weeks – and the introduction of the bacteria disk into the equation does nothing to improve the situation for me.

I suppose the nature of kombucha is essentially similar to beer.  Fermented substances in a drink are not that uncommon.  And yet, I can’t quite get my head around voluntarily introducing bacteria into a completely acceptable drink like tea.  I guess I don’t brew my own beer either, although I do enjoy drinking it.

There are packaged versions of kombucha available, including one made by Red Bull.  I am slightly more comfortable with the manufactured versions, mostly because I work under the assumption that beverage manufacturers are as terrified of being sued as I am of dying of kombucha poisoning.

I am a big sucker for slick marketing and putting anything, even something utterly disgusting, in a pretty bottle and giving it a fun name goes a long way to drawing my interest.  If I actually went out and purchased a Carpe Diem Kombucha, it would be an ultimate marking success for them.

Ooooo…pretty bottle….fancy name…who cares what’s in it?  I must have it!

I want to be cool and brave enough to jump on this bandwagon and give kombucha a try.  But the reality is that it’s probably beyond my capabilities to be that cool and brave.  And the Dunkin’ Donuts coffee is working just fine for me, thanks!