One of the joys of parenting, at least in my opinion, is when your child grows up and turns into your friend.
Oh, I know it isn’t totally the same but in many ways my oldest daughter is an indispensable part of my social life – what little I have. At 27 she gives me great advice about hair, make-up, and clothes. She has known me for a long time and of anyone she knows my flaws… and loves me anyway. My son in law is much the same…except I don’t usually take his advice about makeup and clothes. He is good for a hug almost anytime and as the years have passed he has become more and more part of me – like one of my own kids.
My daughter and son in law, Erin and Jon
One thing I am learning is boundaries. This isn’t easy for me because I have not really been allowed to have them for most of my life. Because I didn’t have them I didn’t understand how to honor them in others. It made for a rocky first few years in my daughter’s marriage as I tried to pass on my own advice and knowledge (some good…some not) to my daughter and her husband. In reality I should have been supporting my son in law and his wife.
Do you get the difference?
In the past few months I have had to learn about boundaries in my own life. I have had to learn to say, “I love you but I can’t do what you think I should.” I have had to learn to accept people’s opinions as just that. Opinions.
This has been good for me. Not only has it strengthened my character but it has allowed me an understanding of the importance of honoring the boundaries of other people – and not just honoring those boundaries but loving the person although I don’t always agree. Maybe I don’t know everything after all.
I guess it boils down to allowing my kids to grow up and become adults who make mistakes and have successes completely removed from any input from me. For them, it means allowing mom to be more than mom. At some point the adult child and the parent of the adult child have to look at each other and recognize that the love is eternal but the relationship has changed.
I am so thankful for the two adults pictured above. I don’t do everything the way they would want me to but they love me enough to respect and pray for me. I appreciate that.
image: Swiped from Erin Audet Myer’s Facebook by Marye Audet
Post from: Blisstree