Got a question for Tuffaleh?! Email her at [email protected] for answerundos.
Dear Tuffy Luv,
I just started dating a boy over the past couple months and everything has been going really well. As of late though, we have started having little arguments mainly over the same thing: he doesn’t like public displays of affection. Like, any. We can’t hold hands in public and even if I haven’t seen him in days, I can’t even kiss him on the cheek.
This wouldn’t be that big of a deal except that he feels completely comfortable breaking this rule at certain times. Every once and awhile, he’ll start a spur-of-the-moment makeout session in public. This only leaves me completely confused. If I ever initiate something, it’s a big problem. But when he does it, there is no problem. He’s also completely comfortable being platonically affectionate with his female friends (hugging or cuddling with them). He can’t seem to make up his mind and I just end up feeling confused and rejected. I don’t know what to do. Any advice?
Sincerely,
Hot & Cold
Dear Hot & Cold,
Red flag!!! “He’s also completely comfortable being platonically affectionate with his female friends (hugging or cuddling with them).” RED. FREAKIN. FLAG.
This is not a guy who happens to be conservative. Cuz, frankly, Tuffy might find that a little sweet. No no no, this is a guy who wants to be in charge of dictating how you show your affection and when. Read Tuffy’s lips: Con-Trol-Freak.
You say: “We can’t hold hands in public and even if I haven’t seen him in days, I can’t even kiss him on the cheek.” And then you say sometimes he randomly just makes out with you in public. Girl, he is playing you like a fiddle (a really cute fiddle, but still). He’s making sure that he makes the decisions here. He wants to be the one controlling not only the relationship but even how other people perceive the relationship.
Of course, if that’s what you want, that’s fine. Some girls are into being told what to do. It’s certainly not my cup of tea (or coffee, or milkshake, or wine), but who I am to tell you what to do in your relationships?
Oh wait–I’m an advice columnist.
Girl, dump his ass and find someone who lets you have a say in when you get to kiss.
Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv
