by Kevin Jon Heller
FADE IN:
INT. KEVIN’S OFFICE — DAY
KEVIN (obscenely young, ridiculously handsome) sits at his desk, poring through archival material. An AUSSIE STUDENT (even younger, not as handsome) enters.
AUSSIE: Hey, sorry to interrupt. Just wanted to say congratulations. I heard the U.S. passed universal health care.
KEVIN: Thanks, but it’s not actually universal. More than 20 million people still won’t have health insurance.
AUSSIE: But I saw some old Republican guy on TV saying it was socialism and the government was taking over health care.
KEVIN: It’s not single payer. The government is just going to help poor people buy private insurance.
AUSSIE: What about that public option thing?
KEVIN: Gone.
AUSSIE: Not-for-profit insurance companies?
KEVIN: Nope.
AUSSIE: So how is the government taking over health care?
KEVIN: Got me.
AUSSIE (frowning): That doesn’t sound like socialism.
KEVIN: Apparently, anything that helps people who aren’t rich is socialism.
AUSSIE: You have a very strange political system.
KEVIN: You have no idea.
The Aussie exits, shaking his head. Kevin returns to his archival material.
FADE TO BLACK.