Author: kurt

Not even three years of retirement can impact Michael Schumacher’s ability to negotiate a contract. The seven time world champion’s retainer for the 2010 season will be $33.48 million dollars, not counting any additional bonuses, winnings or endorsement deals. Next in line is Fernando Alonso: the two time world champion will be taking home $24.1 million dollars this year. Rounding out the high salary podium is Lewis Hamilton, who’s putting $21.4 million in his bank this year. Jenson Button, last year’s world champion, can’t seem to get any respect; his salary as Hamilton’s teammate is a paltry $16.8 million.

There are 19 races on this year’s schedule, 18 if the venue for the Korean Gran Prix isn’t completed in time. Do the math; Michael Schumacher is earning nearly $1.8 million for every race weekend while poor Jenson Button has to settle for $884,211 per race. No wonder the guy had to sell his Bugatti Veyron.

Trunk Monkey – Watch more Funny Videos

Suburban Auto Group is a Ford and Chevy dealer in Sandy, Oregon. You probably wouldn’t know them outside of the Pacific Northwest if it weren’t for their commercials; Suburban Auto Group, you see, is the home of the Trunk Monkey. Chances are good you’ve see some of these videos before, since they made their internet rounds about three years ago. Even if you’ve seen these ads a dozen times, they’re still good for a laugh or two.

For the second time in two races, Sebastian Vettel has put his Red Bull car on the pole, ahead of factory teams from Ferrari and Mercedes. Red Bull teammate and Australia native Mark Weber starts from the outside of the front row, while Fernando Alonso qualified his Ferrari in third spot.

The gap to fourth was a surprising half second, with Jenson Button taking the outside of Row 2 for McLaren Mercedes. Felipe Massa, driving the second Ferrari, starts in fifth, while Michael Schumacher put his much improved Mercedes into the eighth starting position.

The surprise of the day was Lewis Hamilton, who struggled to stay on pace in the final qualifying session. Hamilton starts in 11th, but has the advantage of tire choice at the start of the race (the first 10 positions must start on tires used for qualifying).

In Part 1 of this series, we covered the joys of being a local car show girl. Part 2 covered the next rung up the evolutionary show girl ladder, the paddock girl. Today, we present the pinnacle of car show girl achievement: the international motor show girl.

More pics after the jump.

Take a look at any of these pictures, and you’ll notice one thing in common between all of these women. Stop staring at their breasts, because that wasn’t what I was referring too. Not their incredibly long and shapely legs, either, although they do rock some awfully fine ones.

I’m talking about the look, that thousand yard stare that all the pro show girls either have or quickly develop. It’s somehow both alluring and downright frightening, kind of like getting the keys to a 600 horsepower motorcycle. You may be stupid enough to try and take it for a spin, but I can guarantee it’s only going to end in heartbreak.

As a sideline gig, I teach pistol and concealed carry classes. I come from a law enforcement family, and have a better than average ability to size up an opponent or situation. I’ve got to tell you that these women scare me; it’s not the intelligence thing, because smart women are damned sexy. It’s the gleam in their eye, the one that says “I can kill you with one strike from my six inch stiletto heal, or garrote you with this seemingly innocent string of pearls. It’s only by the grace of God that I continue to let you keep sucking my oxygen as you leer at me.” Scary stuff, that. Unpredictable, too.

So what does it take to compete at this level? For starters, you need to be physically perfect. No bad breast implants, liposuction or collagen enhanced lips allowed; if you didn’t leave the womb as a solid 9.5, look for work elsewhere. You’ve got to be smart, because you’re expected to answer questions on the vehicles and manufacturers you represent. Want to work in Europe? Better speak four or five languages at a minimum.

Want to meet one of these women for a drink? You’ve got a better chance of picking the winning megamillion lottery numbers, while simultaneously being struck by lightening. Unless you’re ripped, filthy stinking rich and in the media spotlight, chances are good that these women won’t even acknowledge your presence outside of the show booth. Think about this: how many times have you been successful in picking up a model wearing a $5,000 dress at your local watering hole? If the answer is none, it’s best to just move along. Who wants to risk a stiletto heel to the heart, anyway?

Author’s note: So You Want To Be A Car Show Girl is written tongue-in-cheek and should in no way be taken seriously. Except the part about sending us bikini or underwear pics if you’re over 18 and look like the women in these pictures; we meant that. And for the love of God, guys: stop sending me underwear pictures, no matter what you shave.

Eight motorcycles were struck by a dump truck in Phoenix, AZ yesterday, when the driver of the truck failed to stop for a red light. The riders were dragged some 75 yards beyond the intersection, before the bikes and truck burst into flames. Three riders were killed, and six remain in critical condition with life-threatening injuries.

The driver of the truck was not cited for impairment, but internet speculation alleges he was looking for paperwork at the time of the accident.

This is a horrible way to check out, so let’s use this as a reminder: if you’re on a bike that’s stopped for a red light, keep it in first gear and keep scanning your mirrors. Never assume that the driver coming up behind you is going to stop.

Source: ABC15.com

We here at RideLust have previously presented video on dealing with police, and I’ve got to tell you that it’s perhaps the worst advice I’ve ever seen given. It’s ACLU bullshit; while technically correct, it’s guaranteed to get you a ticket, an ass kicking or a whole lot of trouble you don’t really need. Consider this: you’re at a traffic light that changes from red to green. You look left, and see a fully loaded dump truck steaming into the intersection at full speed; it’s your legal right to proceed, because it’s his obligation to stop. Would you rather be right, or ground into pavement pizza?

I’m not a lawyer, I don’t play one on TV and this article will not give you a single piece of legal advice, but here are my credentials. I come from a law enforcement family, and know more than a few cops. I’m a certified firearms instructor, which puts me in contact with cops and ex-cops on a regular basis. Think you need to know the law to drive a car? Try teaching a concealed carry class, where absolutely everything you say or do can bite you in the ass if one of your students is involved in a shooting.

If you’re guilty of something, chances are better than average a cop is going to know. Think he can’t smell that blunt you smoked an hour ago? Think that saying, “I don’t consent to a search” is going to make any difference when he sees a pipe in your center console? Think that copping a “I know my rights” attitude is going to help your case? You’d be wrong on all of the above.

There is no way that you’re going to avoid a ticket 100% of the time. If you get pulled over, chances are pretty damn good you’re getting stopped for a reason. Cops are just like the rest of us; they have good days and bad days. Most just want to do their tour and go home at the end of the day; make it easy for them, and chances are they’ll make it easy for you. Sure, there are asshole cops out there, but the vast majority I’ve ever met are pretty cool; treat them with respect and they’ll generally reciprocate.

Here are my top ten tips on avoiding a ticket. Feel free to agree, disagree or send me the money you save on the next ticket you get out of.

• Make sure your vehicle and its contents are legal

Sure, this may be obvious, but a lot of people don’t pay any attention to the state of their ride. Just bought a new car, with badass limo tint on all your windows? Expect to get stopped regularly, since that’s illegal in a lot of states (you can’t tint the front windows that dark). Got a tail light, brake like or directional out? Give a cop a reason to eye you, and that’s an excuse for a stop. Ditto for a cracked taillight or burned out headlight.

If your car is in compliance with your state’s vehicle code, you’ve just eliminated one reason for a traffic stop.

• When stopped, be courteous

The only good advice I witnessed in the first video (The Proper Way To Handle A Police Stop) was to keep your hands on the wheel. Look at the cop’s perspective; when he pulls you over, he doesn’t know that you’re a decent person. For all he knows, you could be a serial killer looking to put another notch on your Glock. Make him uneasy (leaving the driver’s window cracked and not fully open, for example) and he will make your life hell.

Here’s my sequence when stopped:
• Pull to the right shoulder as quickly as it’s safe to do so.
• Stereo off (and end any cell phone conversations).
• Motor off, car in park, handbrake applied.
• Driver and passenger window fully down, hands on the steering wheel.

When the cop asks you if you know why you were stopped, be honest. Bullshit does not get you bonus points; say, “I have no idea” when you were traveling 65 in a 35, and that’s guaranteed to get you a ticket. Say, “Ah crap. I should have been paying more attention to my speed” and you’ve begun the process of negotiating for a reduced fine or no ticket at all.

• Communicate, verbally and non-verbally

Cops like to see your hands. Why? Because hands are what kill. Reach quickly into the glove box for your registration and the cop may think you’re going for a gun. Paranoid? Perhaps, but wouldn’t you be if people tried to kill you on a regular basis?

I like to give the cop the following info: “Officer, my registration is in the glove box. Can I grab it?” Of course he’s going to say yes, and chances are you’ve just put him a bit more at ease.

If you carry a gun in the car (and a lot of people do these days), make sure you’re in compliance with any applicable state laws. Don’t keep your registration in the glove box if you carry a gun in there (which is a really, really bad idea, by the way). Don’t lie if the cop asks you directly, “Do you have any weapons in the car?”, because if he finds it later you will be in for a whole lot of grief.

• Recognize achievement

Cops like recognition as much as the rest of us. Pulled over by a state trooper? Call him “trooper” instead of “officer”. Stopped by a guy with two stripes on his sleeve? Call him “corporal”. Three stripes? Call him “sergeant”. You’ll get a lot more mileage out of this recognition than you will out of calling him sir; they know that you’re muttering ‘asshole’ under your breath, so the fake ‘sir’ doesn’t help your case in the least. When in doubt, stick to “officer”.

• Got any PBA or FOP cards? Use ‘em.

In my experience, a PBA/FOP card can often be the difference between a ticket and a warning. That said, make damn sure you know the cop whose name is on the card. You’ll get questions like “who is this” or “how do you know him”; if it’s a friend of a friend, be upfront. Cops know a lot of other cops, and they’ll pick up on bullshit in a heartbeat.

Hand the officer your driver’s license, insurance, registration and PBA card, but make sure the PBA/FOP card is on top of the pile so he sees it first.

• Be patient

I once got stopped in a small mountain town in Colorado, in the middle of the night. The cop alleged that I ran a stop sign, but I didn’t remember seeing one. I waited for 25 minutes while he ran my license and registration; when he came back to the car, he handed over my documents and apologized for the wait. No ticket, no warning, no nothing. Why? Because he was waiting me out. If I’d appeared nervous or anxious, he’d have found probable cause to search the car. My information came back clean and I wasn’t pacing back and forth, so he figured a ticket wasn’t worth the paperwork (or there really wasn’t a stop sign after all).

• Never argue with the cop

You can not win an argument with a cop. Piss him off, and the only thing I guarantee is that he’ll make your court date and remember every last detail of the stop. Make his life easy, and make your traffic stop forgettable, and you’ve just reduced the likelihood that he’ll remember the relevant details if you do need to go to court.

If he’s rude, or if you believe you were treated unfairly, get his name and badge number. Try to do this discreetly, because saying, “I want your name and badge number” isn’t going to help your case. You can report him to his supervisor, generally a patrol sergeant. If that doesn’t work, don’t be afraid to bounce it up the food chain to the tour commander.

• Don’t drop names

You’re the brother in law of the chief of police? If that’s really the case, chances are good your stop would already be over. Know the mayor personally? So do 10,000 other people. Unless you can back it up, don’t even try this angle, because the cop has heard every story in the book a few thousand times. If you really are politically hooked up, the cop will realize this soon enough.

• Don’t party and drive

Drive drunk? Drive high? You’re living on borrowed time, and sooner or later you will get busted. And rightly so. Get your freak on at your local watering hole, or in the privacy of someone’s home. Call a sober friend, call a cab or walk home; whatever you do, don’t get behind the wheel or drive with someone else who’s wrecked.

• Don’t drive like an asshole

I love speed as much as the next guy (probably more than most), but there’s a time and a place for everything. Think it’s cool to drive 65 in a 25 every time you pick up your buddy for classes? Believe me, people notice, and sooner or later you’re going to get popped. Think you’re getting out of a ticket when Mrs. Suburban Homeowner is yelling at the cop, “That’s the driver I called you about, officer”?

Likewise, if you weave in and out of slower traffic, pass on the shoulder, roll through stop signs and generally ignore red lights, you’re going to get stopped. And you will get ticketed, no matter what kind of pull you’ve got.

So that’s about it for the advice I’ve got. Feel free to hit me with any questions on the topic, and I’ll give you some real-world wisdom, not the ACLU bullshit we previously put up.

Frank Kurtis and his company, Kurtis Kraft, were best known for building successful midget cars, sprint cars and Indy cars. Between 1950 and 1960, Kurtis built 120 Indy cars, which took five Indy 500 victories. If you watched racing in the 1950s, you saw his cars in competition; eager to capitalize on this, Kurtis began building a limited range of two seat sports cars in 1949. Between 1949 and 1955, about 75 cars were completed and sold.

More pics after the jump.

The KK series were sold in various stages of completion, allowing the buyer a choice of motor, transmission and body type. Frame and suspension were pure race car, taken from Kurtis’ 1953 Indy car design. This 1954 Kurtis Byers 500KK features a fiberglass body molded by boat builder Jim Byers, and uses a 291 cubic inch Hemi Fire Dome V8 motor built by DeSoto and good for 275 horsepower. The car was used by the original owner to compete in various sports car and drag racing events into the 1960s, and it is still campaigned by its current owners in vintage events.

The mid-oughts (2003 to 2007) were a time of plenty. A time to dream big, because anything was possible and easy to fund with sub-prime loans and eager investors. Let’s say you had a sexy German girlfriend and you owned a company that built chainsaws. What would you do to highlight both? Build a 24 engined motorcycle, of course.

Each chainsaw was tuned to develop a whopping 7 horsepower at 10,000 RPM, making this a 168 horsepower, 24 cylinder, two-stroke. At one time there was video of it actually being ridden, but it appears to lost to the annals of history. Perhaps no one wanted a permanent record of looking that silly on two wheels, or perhaps the sting of financial collapse is still too fresh. Dare to dream, I say – let’s get working on an electric motorcycle, powered by 96 blender motors.

Source: Hooniverse

Well, actually on their license plates. New to driving in the Garden State? Under 21 years of age? Under a new law, you’ll have to affix a red sticker to the upper left corner of your front and rear license plates. You get to pay for it, too – an extra $4.00 plus a trip to your friendly local DMV office. For those of you who’ve never lived in New Jersey, a trip to the DMV is slightly less enjoyable than double root canal, without anesthesia, while simultaneously passing a kidney stone the size of a basketball.

Backers of the new law say it will help reduce accidents by warning other drivers in traffic to expect the unexpected. It will also help police to enforce laws such as the 11:00 PM curfew for new drivers and limits to the number of passengers with new drivers.

Opponents say that teen drivers could become the target of criminals, rapists, ne’er-do-wells and aliens looking to harvest organs. Me? I’d like to see the same thing for drivers who talk or text on their cell phones while attempting to drive.

Source: Autoblog

Colin Furze is a genius, and his name shall henceforth be muttered with the hallowed tones generally reserved for Steve McQueen, Carrol Shelby, Q or your favorite porn star. Why? Because Furze, tired of tailgating motorists, invented a button-activated flamethrower for his scooter. It sprays flame up to 15 feet, plenty good enough to get the attention of even the most idiotic drivers. Not cool enough? His flamethrower is adjustable for angle, to get the perfect pitch for your opponent’s windshield.

Video after the jump.

Furze, a plumber by trade, developed the prototype using a BMX bicycle. His design was so effective, he naturally built the variable pitch model for use on his scooter. Sure it’s illegal, but Furze assures the authorities that he’ll only use it off road. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

I hope he licenses the design, because it sounds like the perfect remedy for cell phone lobotomized, mouth-breathing tailgaters. I already know how to make napalm, so maybe I’ll just get to work on a version of my own. Does anyone have a metal lathe and a spare scuba tank I can borrow?

Source: Daily Mail, via Neatorama. Video from TwoWheelsBlog.

My father-in-law recently purchased new Chevy Malibu, and the OnStar service was a big selling point for him. He likes the navigation feature, and despite already carrying a cell phone likes the fact that an emergency operator is just the push of a button away.

Me? I’m a take-care-of-yourself kind of guy. I keep my vehicles in good working order, always make sure my cell phone is charged before heading out the door and carry enough tools (Gorilla Tape, a Leatherman multi-tool and tire plugs) that I can limp the car home no matter what happens. Plus, the idea of big brother watching me drive just creeps me out; I can only imagine how many times I’d have an operator calling me because they detected excessive g-forces from my vehicle.

More after the jump.

Still, if OnStar expanded their services just a bit, perhaps they could attract more clients. The following transcripts are NOT based on actual OnStar calls. If they were, perhaps I’d be motivated to buy a vehicle that had it.

OnStar Apache

OS Operator: “Hello, this is OnStar. How can I help you today?”
Me: “Hello OnStar. I’d like to call in an airstrike on the assnozzle in front of me. They’ve been driving below the speed limit in the left lane for the past ten miles, and I can’t get around them on the right.”
OS Operator: “Very well sir, did you want the minigun strafing run or the Hellfire missile attack?”
Me: “He’s really pissing me off – better go with the Hellfire missiles”
OS Operator: “An excellent choice sir, but I must remind you that Hellfire missiles are a PREMIUM service. You’ll see the charge on your next statement.”
Me: “Not a problem ma’am”
OS Operator: “OK, I just need to confirm your coordinates, and I’d advise you to back off and leave some room for our Apache gunship to move in. Thank you for using OnStar, and have a great day.”

OnStar FastRoute

OS Operator: “Hello, this is OnStar. How can I help you today?”
Me: “I’m running late for an important meeting, and traffic isn’t moving. Can you turn on the auto navigate feature and activate the lights and siren?”
OS Operator: “Yes sir, I’d be happy to. We call that FastRoute, and I have to give you our standard disclaimer that FastRoute will get you to your destination in the minimum amount of time, but this may include driving across private property, through fences and occasionally avoiding high speed pursuit. Do we have a waiver of liability on file for you?”
Me: “Yes ma’am, I sent it in last month”
OS Operator: “Very well then. Please make sure your airbags are deactivated, your seat belt is fastened and I STRONGLY recommend you remove your hands from the steering wheel. We’ll take it from here.”
Me: “Could you also..”
OS Operator: “Arrange a flatbed to pick up the remains of your car? Already done, sir.”

OnStar CarGuard

OS Operator: “Hello, this is OnStar. How can I help you today?”
Me: “I’ve just been hit by some kids in a stolen car, and they took off.”
OS Operator: “Are you hurt? Do you require an ambulance or police.”
Me: “No, I’m OK. I’m just pissed about my car.”
OS Operator: “I show that you were hit by a 2005 Hond Civic, black, with four occupants. The car is currently headed north on interstate 95. Would you like us to dispatch our ‘CarGuard’ specialists’”
Me: “Yeah, just don’t send Vincent and Jules again.”
OS Operator: “Sir, were you dissatisfied with their previous work?”
Me: “Dissatisfied isn’t the right word. They were a little too… enthusiastic. I mean the poor old woman just backed into me in a parking lot. A simple beating would have been enough.”
OS Operator: “Understood sir. We’ll dispatch a new team this time. Thank you for using OnStar and have a nice day…”

Adenauer Forst is a a S-curve section of Germany’s famed Nürburgring racetrack. While any S-curve will test the limits of your car’s suspension if you’re driving fast enough, the second apex at Adenauer Forst incorporates a downhill. What does this mean? At the very moment your right side suspension is fully weighted, the track falls away and unweights your suspension. In other words, you go from a nice, sedate four wheel drift to sphincter-clenching snap oversteer (or understeer, depending on you car’s balance) in about a millisecond. Public roads are designed with driver safety in mind. Racetracks, on the other hand, are designed to test the limits of a driver’s ability.

Follow the jump to see how modern cars fare in the same section.

To give you an idea of how much better cars are today compared to 1970, check out this second video. Plenty of off-track excursions, but none with the drama of rolling a 1960s Beetle or Fiat at speed.

Props to Jesse at Just A Car Guy for unearthing the first vid.

I once had a chance to drive a full size Volvo tour bus in the UK. The most memorable bits of my experience? First, I managed to drive the bus through streets no wider than a driveway without hitting anything or killing anyone. Second, redline on the diesel motor was 2,500 RPM.

I’m a bike guy and a sports car guy; motors, in my experience, don’t even come on cam until three grand and higher. The concept of shifting at 1,000 RPM just blows my mind.

In any case, here’s what happens when you put a diesel motor on a dyno and over-rev the crap out of it. Things go from bad to worse very quickly, and I’m glad to be watching this from a safe distance. Connecting rods, fired from an exploding engine, definitely leave a mark if they hit you.

Source: BangShift

A Mustang GT owner in Florida brought his car to the local dealer for repair of a bad clutch. Told that parts wouldn’t be in for a few days, the man went to pick up his ride; all was well until the service advisor used the remote starter to fire it up. Guess what? The car was in gear, with the emergency brake off, and shot across the parking lot before plunging into a retention pond. Bummer.

I’m not a big fan of remote starters, because they add weight, cost money and don’t make the car go any faster. If you live up north, suck it up and climb into a cold car like I did for 20+ years. If you live down south, suck it up and jump into a hot car like I’m currently doing.

Every remote starter kit I’ve ever seen comes with a disclaimer about installation on a manual transmission car. If I remember correctly, some ever have an interlock that prevents starting unless the car is in neutral. In any case, the owner of the Mustang is screwed, because the Ford dealer is saying, “not our problem”. Whoever installed the remote either didn’t do it properly, or failed to give the car’s owner the multi-page disclaimer that absolves them from responsibility when installed on a manual transmission vehicle. Of course, it could also be that the car’s owner just chose to ignore the warning. In any case, it’s not between him and his insurance company to work out the details.

If you’ve been driving your manual transmission car in a spirited manner and the brakes are hot, it’s best to put the car in first gear (if parked uphill) or reverse (if parked on a level surface or downhill) with the handbrake off when parking. This allows your brake rotors to cool evenly, without the brake pads making contact with the rotors. If you apply the handbrake to hot rotors, you run the risk of rotor warpage, since the metal cools and contracts at a different rate. Under normal circumstances, apply the handbrake and then put yout manual transmission car in first or reverse.

Source: Mustang Forums

Combine one Ducati 1098S, one Skyline GT-R, two equally talented pilots and one racetrack with a good blend of straights, corners and transitions, and what do you get? A clear victory for one of the vehicles, but it may not be the one you think.

Interesting segment from Britain’s Autocar website, but the hosts somehow manage to sound bored throughout the whole video. If I was driving the GT-R or riding the 1098, I’d at least be a little enthused; hell, I’m more enthusiastic when I’m putting laundry away.

Source: Two Wheels Blog

Watch this video, then tell me that gravity racing doesn’t look like a blast. You could build a car for next to nothing and enjoy hours of non-polluting, wheel to wheel racing (with the occasional broken bone or two), for the cost of gas to and from a hill. Leave it to California to ban it; if it’s entertaining, it should be outlawed in the land of fruits and nuts.

I’d build a sled in solidarity for my oppressed California brothers, but we don’t have any hills in Florida. Maybe I’ll just go buy a shifter kart so I can terrorize the neighborhood instead.

Source: Just A Car Guy

Two Honda HSV-010 racecars, competing in Japan’s Super GT series, take each other out on lap 12 of the season opening race. Prior to the collapse of the global economy, the HSV-010 was to be the replacement for the Acura NSX; it’s a shame that cost cutting prevented Honda from moving forward with the street car’s development.

You’ve got to love the raw emotion of the Japanese announcers; my genitals would have to burst into flames to elicit the same volume and intensity of outburst. In case you miss the crash in the first three seconds, don’t worry: the announcers show it several times, in stop motion, while providing commentary on every detail. Makes me wish I spoke Japanese, just so I could learn what each driver ate for breakfast prior to the start of the race.

Source: Straightline

If you grew up in the 1970s, chances are you raced HO scale slot cars from either Aurora or Tyco. If you ran Aurora cars and track, I can all but guarantee you had this car in your collection.

In the late 1960s and early 1970s, the SCCA’s CanAm Challenge was a hugely popular racing series, featuring some of the world’s best drivers in cars that were ungodly powerful and fast. CanAm cars were the muscle cars of the racing world; what they lacked in grace and handling, they made up for in brute power. There was good money to be made for drivers and teams alike, and privateers often ran alongside the better funded factory teams.

No team dominated the CanAm series more than Bruce McLaren Motor Racing, who took the CanAm championship in five successive years, from 1967 to 1971. Their success wasn’t in innovation; it was in relentless testing, both pre-season and throughout the season. By the time a new chassis was introduced in a race by McLaren, the team had already spent hundreds of hours working out the bugs. Their drivers, Bruce McLaren and Denny Hulme, were so successful that the 1969 series was often referred to as the “Bruce and Denny show”.

Tragedy struck the team in 1970. While testing the team’s new M8D chassis, Bruce McLaren was killed in a testing accident at Goodwood, England, when the rear frame of his car separated at high speed. Dan Gurney and Peter Gethin were brought in as drivers for the 1970 series, but teammate Denny Hulme once again claimed the CanAm Championship.

McLaren’s final CanAm success occurred in 1971. The M8F, McLaren’s team car, ran a 495 cubic inch Chevy V8, good for 740 horsepower. Peter Revson took the championship, winning five of ten races to Denny Hulme’s three victories. By 1972, McLaren just could not compete with the new Porsche 917/10, which dominated the series previously owned by McLaren. Faced with rising costs, McLaren abandoned the CanAm series after the 1972 season to focus on Formula 1.

Reference: Vintage RPM

Deke learned the hard way that no matter how much resin you used, paper towels just couldn’t be turned into fiberglass.

Source: You Drive What?

If you love your ride, chances are you wouldn’t consider taking it to a drive through car wash. The brushless ones never seem to get your car clean, and the ones that use brushes (even the new soft foam brushes) can scratch paint if they’re not kept clean. Your ride may not be a Ferrari 250 GTO, but you still want to keep it looking nice; now that Spring is here, it’s time to spend a Saturday morning bonding with your car. Here’s how to properly wash it, from the roof to the wheels.

Step 1: Find a shady spot to work

Sun is the enemy of car washing, as it causes water spotting, soap film and streaking. Find a spot that has some shade, or wash the car in the early morning or late afternoon. Always wash your car before it’s been driven for any distance. Cold water on hot brake rotors, hot wheels and hot body panels is not a good thing.

Step 2: Use the right stuff

Always start with a soap meant specifically for washing cars. I don’t care what brand of car wash soap you use, since they’re all good enough to get the job done. Never use dish soap or laundry soap, as neither was designed to wash cars and both can strip the wax from a car’s finish.

Start with a clean bucket (better if you dedicate one just to washing cars), add the recommended amount of car wash liquid and spray in the water to create a decent bucket of suds. Now grab your wash mitt.

I prefer sheepskin mitts for car washing, but a microfiber mitt will work just as well. Here’s the key thing: it has to be absolutely clean, since any embedded grit will scratch your paint. If you dropped the mitt on the ground, you’re not going to shake or rinse out all the grit; it needs to go through the washing machine before you use it on a car.

Got your bucket o’suds? Got your clean mitt? Good – drop the mitt in the suds, and let it soak up the soapy liquid. We’ll get back to it in a little bit, but first, we’ve got some wheels to clean.

Step 3: The wheels

Brake dust is nasty, corrosive stuff. Leave it on your wheels long enough, and no amount of scrubbing will make them look decent again. You can spend a ton of money on exotic wheel cleaner sprays, most of which are acid based. In other words, if you don’t use them correctly they can etch your wheels, etch your driveway and probably do nasty things to your skin. My preference? Simple Green, which is an all purpose, biodegradable cleaner that works on just about anything. The best part is you can find it anywhere, and it’s a lot cheaper than a specialized wheel cleaner spray.

First, spray your tires and wheels down with water. Next, spray generous amount of Simple Green on the wheel and tire and let it sit for a minute. Now, get out your tire brush. Of course you have a tire brush, right?

If not, here’s what you need – a broad head scrub brush with medium stiff bristles. Nylon is fine, unless you feel compelled to shell out the big bucks for a natural bristle brush. Remember, this is just for scrubbing tires, so don’t use it on painted surfaces unless you like scratched paint or clearcoat.

Spray the brush down with water and throw on another squirt of Simple Green. Use a circular motion to scrub the dirt and old tire shine off your tires, but try not to hit the wheels. If the brush is stiff enough to clean your rubber tires, it may be stiff enough to scratch the paint or clearcoat on your wheels (and yes, most alloy wheels are painted these days).

Once you’re done with the tire, you can move on to the wheels. Get your wheel brush out, and spray it down with clean water. You’ve got a dedicated wheel brush, right?

If you don’t, here’s what you want – a soft bristled brush that’s pointed enough to get into all the nooks and crannies of your wheels. Nylon is fine, but here’s example where saving money may not be a good thing – cheap wheel brushes won’t last more than a year or two, and some stiffen up with use. Buy the best one you can find, but make sure it’s small enough to get behind the brake caliper and into all the detail areas of your wheels.

Spray your wet wheel brush down with a little Simple Green and get to work. I like to start with the area around the tire valve first and work in a clockwise pattern. Scrub with just enough force to get the brake dust and road grime off your wheels. Flush the tire and wheel with clean water and touch up any areas you missed the first time. Now repeat the process with the other three wheels.

Step 4: Wash the car, top to bottom

Take your car wash nozzle and set it to a light stream. Heavy streams (or power washers) may be good for getting mud out of wheel wells, but they can also get by window seals and blast off loose paint or anodizing. Start with the greenhouse (roof, windows, windshield and rear window) and spray the car down from top to bottom. You’re not looking to wash it clean; you’re just trying to get the whole thing wet.

Done? Grab your wash mitt and start on the greenhouse. Lift the wiper blades up so you can clean underneath them (clean the wiping surface, too). Wash the roof first, then move on to the windshield, widows and rear window. Be as quick as you can while still being thorough; you don’t want the soap to dry on the paint or glass.

When you’ve finished with the greenhouse, rinse it down (roof first) until all the soap is gone, then make sure the rest of the car is still wet.

Make sure to dip your mitt in the wash bucket from time to time (and yeah, that’s also a metaphor). Check to see that it’s relatively clean before starting to wash a new section of car.

Pick another area and get to work. I usually move on to the rear fenders, trunk and bumper and wash it as one section. The idea is to was a small enough area that the soap won’t dry between rinses, but a large enough area that the car wash doesn’t take all day. Rinse, lather, rinse and repeat until the car is done.

If you’re really anal retentive about your car’s finish, you’ll use a separate mitt for the areas around the wheel wells and the rocker panels. These areas build up dirt and grit, so using a second wash mitt helps to prevent scratches on other areas of paint.

When you’re done with washing and rinsing all areas, it’s time to flood the paint with water. First, turn off the water at the faucet. Now remove the nozzle from the hose and turn it on full. Starting with the top of the car, flood the paint with a heavy stream of water and work your way down. Notice how the water beads off and leaves you with less to dry? Go kill the water and grab your drying towels, it’s time for the next step.

Step 5: Dry your car

Everybody has their own preference for drying cars, but here’s what I do. First, I grab a synthetic chamois (like The Absorber) and dry the roof. Next, I grab a silicone water blade and dry the windows and any other flat surface (vertical first, then horizontal). I finish up by drying rest of the car with a synthetic chamois or cotton towel, depending upon what’s at hand and clean.

Now’s a good time to touch up any areas you may have missed, since you still have the bucket and mitt handy. Don’t forget the inside of your doors, trunk and hood. Bugs or tar etched into your paint? Get the bug and tar remover out and follow the directions, them wipe down the area you’ve cleaned.

Bonus points go to those who now clean their windows and treat them with RainX. If you’ve never used it, it’s good stuff.

So we’re done, right? Not just yet, because it’s time for…

Step 6: Wheels and tires

Few things can make a car look rattier than dirty wheels and dull tires; on the flip side, clean wheels and properly treated tires can make a dirty car look good.

Start with a cotton towel (washed after every use, since it gets filthy) and dry your wheels and tires. Get your tire dressing out (No Touch, Armor All, Poor Boy’s World Tire Dressing, etc.) and spray or brush it on your tires. Not only does this make tires look better, but it seals the rubber and prevents UV damage (which causes sidewall cracking and “dry rot”).

If you’ve got alloy wheels or wheel covers, grab a beer because you’re done. If you’ve got painted steelies (like my FJ), grab a can of Lemon Pledge furniture polish. Yes, I’m serious – Lemon Pledge. Spray the wheel lightly with the polish, then use a microfiber towel to work it into the painted surface. The end result is a medium gloss finish that lasts for weeks and smells pretty damn good, too.

So that’s it. I can wash the Miata in about 45 minutes, the car in about an hour and the truck in about an hour and a half. As an added bonus, you get to make sure everything is OK with your ride, and spend some quality one-on-one time with your four wheeled mistress (or mister – I’m not judging). If you’re a gear head, what’s better than that?